Oh Dear
by Lov3good
Summary: It's been six years since I left La Push, and it's been four years since Paul left me. Paul/OC! SEQUEL TO OH JULES!
1. Brick By Brick We Started Crumbling

_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine and nothing will be except the plot and the OC's you don't recognize :)_

_A/N: So guys, here is the sequel to Oh Jules! For new readers, I recommend you read Oh Jules before this otherwise you won't understand a bit of it :) Anyways, thank you for all the support that you guys gave me for Oh Jules, I couldn't have finished it without you guys! Anyways, this story will be different and I think you guys will hit me once you've finished reading this chapter :) But stick with me, will ya :) And hopefully you will like it :) Enjoy:_

_Song used for this chapter **Speaking A Dead Language** by **Joy Williams**_

_Brick By Brick We Started Crumbling_

"Jules?" The soft voice penetrated my eardrums. Slowly my awareness grew and I realized that the soft blanket wrapped around me wasn't giving me the warmth I was craving for. My mouth felt dry and my throat ached relentlessly. My head lay on the soft pillow and as I stared at the rain clad window I realized I was back in La Push. I was back home. After six years I was finally back.

The idea was strange and somehow I couldn't wrap my head around it. I wanted to move, indicate that I was no corpse, all holed up in my bed, that I was in fact alive but my limbs were numb and the sheets were wrapped around me tightly and I doubted I would be able to move, especially in my current state. I let out a shaky breath and suddenly a dark face appeared in view. Seth Clearwater. His hair was longer now and his dark eyes peered at me worriedly. "Come on Jules." A stab of pain went through me and I closed my eyes as a gasp of pain escaped my mouth.

"D-don't call me that." I brought out and I heard Seth's sigh.

"Come on, honey." He repeated again and he pulled away the blanket pulling me into a sitting position on the bed. I could hear the several footsteps and chatters of people downstairs. But the grief was present. So much in fact that it was leading it's own life. I heard Summer's voice behind me.

"I'll take care of it Seth." Summer said as she appeared in view. Her green eyes vibrant. Gone were all the childish features. In front of me stood a twenty-three year old, young woman. Her dark hair pulled in a tight bun, with the smallest amount of make up on her face. I let her pull me out of bed and steer me into the bathroom. I eyed her black funeral dress and another wave of something went through me and my knees weakened.

"Take a shower." She said softly and I steered myself to the shower. Not even the hot scalding water could get rid of the chill. I heard Summer and Seth's voice outside of the bathroom.

"How's her mother?" Summer's voice rang and I leant against the tiles. The water pounding on my head like a hammer. Every strike echoed loudly.

"Kim and Julie's grandmother are taking care of her. She even worse than Julie." I heard Seth's sigh. "At least she shows some emotions. She hasn't stopped crying ever since he passed away."

"Julie won't say anything though." Seth remarked and I quickly turned off the shower and pulled myself out of the shower. It didn't matter how high the temperature was, this chill was going to be here permanently.

"Yeah and Paul being here won't do her much good either." Summer said and I halted in my movements. The towel was wrapped around me tightly and I sat down on the edge of the tub. The steam in the bathroom was moist and it felt like I was breathing water.

"I told him to stay away but he wouldn't listen."

"It's Paul, when does he ever listen?" The conversation stopped afterwards and Summer knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" My voice was hoarse and it hurt my throat.

"You done, Jules?" I shrugged and Summer came inside. She was holding the black dress I was supposed to wear on my dad's funeral.

"Oh God." I whispered watching the dress with something that would've been described as disdain. Summer didn't say anything. Merely watched me with cautious eyes and I closed my eyes. The burns in my eyes were painful.

"Do you need help getting it on?" Summer asked and I shook my head.

"No." I responded hoarsely and Summer nodded before giving me exactly what I wanted. Some time alone.

Fifteen minutes later I was dragging my feet downstairs. I was immediately confronted with family members. Aunts and uncles. My grandparents. A few cousins. Family friends. It felt strange when they embraced me. All of them were trying to hold themselves up but I couldn't see why they would? For me? I was doing an okay job. For it wasn't his death that made me hit rock bottom. I swallowed away the shaky breaths, I didn't want them to see anything in me but solemnity.

"Julie, sweetheart." My grandmother Gracie called my name and I turned to the shorter woman. There were circles beneath her eyes and I fought the urge to hide in her embrace. Instead I gave her a tentative smile. She didn't react upon it.

"Could you get some wood out of the garage? The fire is dying out." I nodded and moved to the small door that was in the kitchen. It lead to the small garage we had which was filled with my dad's things. Maybe that's why she asked me to go. Knowing it wouldn't affect me nearly as badly as it would someone else.

I picked up a few stacks of wood and moved back up the tiny steps, right into the kitchen. There were too many people here and as I handed the wood to my uncle John I immediately moved to the front door. They didn't notice me at all.

"She's still in shock." My aunt Mary said and I couldn't agree less with her. If this state you wanted to call shock, then go ahead. I just wanted to lie down and sleep the whole world away. It was easy to do so if the only thing I could hear was a hum that was soothing. Instead I heard them. Twenty-four seven and my throat was rough with the screams.

I blindly walked outside. The rain was pouring and for some reason I couldn't move any further than the porch. I sat down against the wall and folded my knees beneath me. The cold wind evoked goose bumps on my skin and the soft pattern of the rain on the earth soon turned into a melody. I didn't want anything to do right now. Sitting here would've been perfect. For I had no idea what I was going to when this day would be over. Everything I owned was moved here from New York, my apartment was empty and my art gallery was gone. I had nothing left there. I came back here because my dad died and in exchange I gave up everything I ever worked for.

Even in death he was able to control me.

"Julie. It's time." Seth's voice startled me and I looked at the tall Quileute with nothing more but confusion.

"Let's get you up on your feet." Seth said and he hoisted me by my armpits and I as stood on my feet I let him pull me back inside the house.

Twenty minutes later we were in the car and the only thing I could do was stare at the rain. For it was much interesting than whatever my family had to say.

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

His coffin was located in the middle of the stage and many flowers stood around it. People were being lead to their chairs and they eyed me with pity. I barely reacted upon it and chose to walk the red velvety carpet that lead to the stage instead. I was moving quicker than I thought because suddenly I was so close to the coffin I was able to touch the wood. I ignored my family members cry of surprise and moved closer. When suddenly a hot hand on my arm tugged me backwards. I stumbled into someone's chest and I turned around surprised.

"They're about to start." Seth said and I let him lead me to the chairs, my eyes still focused on the coffin.

Ten minutes later the service started. People spoke about Finn like he was a hero and I wanted to protest, scream but I couldn't find the words to use. Seth and Kim were sitting next to me and I heard the soft cries of my mother a few chairs away. I swallowed the fear away and listened to every single word that was said. If only they knew the real Finn. What went on behind the walls. Bet no one would be so sad now? Or would they? I sighed when another speaker came up and started this long monologue about him that didn't relate to Finn in any kind of way.

I turned my head to eye the people that occupied every single chair. There were friends, colleagues. Most of the reservation was here and to my surprise that included the pack as well. My eyes racked over the pack to see the one person that had me on the edge of my seat. I wanted to see his warm eyes, his smile. I wanted to hear his voice, feel his breath on my skin. The touch of his fingers. I wanted to feel complete again. But I hadn't been complete for the past few years. For it has been four years since Paul left me. Four years since the clock Paul gave me stopped ticking.

I found him next to Jared. He was closer to me than expected and I held in my breath as my eyes looked for any flaw that would indicate his misery. I found nothing but the hard mask that he wore on his face. I swallowed thickly when I saw a dark Quileute woman next to him. Her sharp features were stunning and there was a similarity that had me questioning who this girl exactly was. She came across as vaguely familiar. I would've asked Seth who that was had it not been the exact moment Paul's eyes met mine.

My heart stopped.

I was immediately transported back to the day where my misery began. Him surprising me in New York. Him seeing things he never was meant to see. Him misunderstanding. Him screaming. Him slamming the door. Too many words were said and four years later I was here. Spots littered my vision and a shook of my arms eased me out of my dizzying haze. I glanced at Kim next to me as I heard her whisper something I didn't get. Suddenly I realized that voices were speaking again and most of my family members were standing at the stage. The mourners were going to line up to pay their condolences to the family. I let her drag me to the front of the herd. Closest to the coffin.

My hand was numb, shaking everyone's hand. My ears were hurting for I didn't want to hear what they had to say. Their promises burning a hole in my patience. I simply nodded and reacted to everything they said with a simple thank you. At some point I tried to move away but my mother had grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the position I was before.

"You're not leaving me." She said firmly. Her eyes were bloodshot and tears kept coming. In the past few days she had ages several years and I found myself standing next to her again, doing exactly what she wanted me to do. Stand beside her and be whatever my father would've wanted me to be.

"I'm very sorry for your loss." The voice pulled me out of my stupor and I looked at the girl I had been eyeing before. I blinked at her, I was pretty sure that my look showed confusion. Suddenly she widened her eyes. "Oh, sorry. I'm Rachel. I'm Jacob's sister." I nodded again. That's why I recognized her. She looked quite a lot like her brother.

"Thanks." I murmured when Paul suddenly appeared behind her. His hand was resting on the small of her back and that small intimate gesture made my whole word turn upside down.

A spinning fear took hold of me and I found myself gasping for breath. The ocean of people were smothering me and I glanced at the girl with a terrified expression. I couldn't meet his gaze and suddenly my knees buckled from beneath me. His hand shot out to steady me but I pushed away and stumbled, knocking over some of the flowers. The vases shattered, showering the floor with glass and I found myself clutching the wall as the hole in my chest increased. I tried to move away, away from the claustrophobic people, all of them were eying me with shock. Away from the smelly odour of the flowers. Away from the intimacy that I just saw between him and that girl.

"Julie?"

"Honey what's going on?"

"Jules?" Another stab of pain went through me and my feet moved through the crowd to the empty corridor. I tried to breathe but no matter how much gulps of air I took, oxygen didn't fill my lungs.

"Give her a second." Summer's voice reverberated and I reminded myself to thank her later.

My chest, tight with shock, ached and I was running. My feet echoing in the silence when I found the door I was looking for. I slammed my fist against the door and it opened. Exposing me to the cold outside. I stepped out of the terrifying building and the rain poured down. Suddenly the tears came. For the first time ever since Finn died I cried. My lungs contracted again and stabs of pain shot through my body. My shoes were damp with the mud where I trot upon and my dress was clinging to me like a second skin. I was thoroughly soaked and nothing could stop me. I kept on walking to the woods, hoping to find some peace beneath the trees.

Moving away from people would've normally done the trick but the scene kept playing over and over again. Paul moved on. Despite our imprint he had moved on and now I was left with this broken imprint. I tried to take cleansing breaths but I felt like everything was running havoc in my body. Nothing worked the way it was supposed to work. I sobbed as I pulled at the ribbon of my dress. Loosening it for it constricted my breathing. My knees felt weak and I fell many times before finally reaching the forest.

_What are you going to do now? _

I suddenly put my hand against my mouth and screamed. I hadn't realized it but my only hope that was left here had just betrayed me. I fell to my knees and put my hands on the ground as the rain was slightly held back by the trees. I blinked several times to free my eyes from the tears but nothing stopped. I found myself crying again. Tremors shook my body and I pulled off the shoes I was wearing, throwing it against the nearest tree, seeking release. Release I wouldn't be able to find.

Panic blinded me and fear shook me to my core. What was I going to do? I couldn't do this, I couldn't stay here now, could I? I didn't want to see him happy. For the past four years I tried to find the courage to come back and now I was back. And he had moved on. I shook violently as I suddenly couldn't breathe. A fog washed over me and nausea churned in my stomach.

"Julie?" Seth's voice moved through the fog and I he clutched my arms as he shook me to coax a reaction out of me.

"Breathe Jules." I closed my eyes. I couldn't bear to hear him say my name like that. Please don't say my name. I tried to struggle but the grip Seth had on me was strong and suddenly other voices penetrated my eardrums. I wasn't alone.

"Shoot, what the hell happened?" That must've been Sam.

"I told you to keep him away." Seth yelled. I never heard him yell before.

"What did you want me to do Seth? Order him to stay away?"

"That would've been something." He responded.

"Not now guys." Summer's voice came across as stern. "Now move." Summer appeared in my view. "Julie honey? Breathe deeply, alright? Like this." I shook my head. More tears escaping my eyes.

"How is she?" I closed my eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Seth growled. "Leave, now!"

"Watch your mouth pup." Paul gritted out and as I felt Sam move behind me, holding me upright, I could see the tall statures of both Seth and Paul.

"This is your fault." Seth retorted and suddenly Paul grabbed Seth by his collar, slamming him against the nearest tree.

"Don't you _dare _tell me this is my fault." Seth responded by pushing Paul away with a mighty push.

"Both of you stop it!" Sam shouted and I shook with the amount of power behind his voice. Seth and Paul kept glaring to each other. Then Paul's eyes fell on me.

"Get out of the way Summer." Paul grunted as he crouched down in front of me.

"I don't think so Paul. Get out of here. You're not wanted." Summer hissed.

"Just do it!" Paul almost shouted and he grabbed Summer by the arm, pulling her away.

"Hey!" She cried out as Seth grabbed hold of her arm before she could fall.

"I got her." Paul murmured to Sam. His hands were holding on to me and to my surprise my body immediately responded. His hands were rubbing up and down my arms before one of his hands cupped the back of my head. Holding it in place. "Come on, Jules. Breathe." I closed my eyes and more tears oozed out of the corner of my eyes.

The spots were dominant and if it were me I would've succumbed completely. Ironically enough I was here, responding to everything Paul was saying. And somehow the ache dulled by him just standing here. I felt him whisper more words and I clutched his sleeve. The tears were lessening and my breath came out regularly again, albeit a bit shallow. At least the spinning sensation was gone now. I held on to the memories that Paul evoked to keep the pain away. And it worked.

"Julie?" His voice was rough. I took a shaky breath and rested my forehead against his chin. "You with me?" I let out an agreeing kind of sound. "Okay, I'm going to take you home now." I didn't react.

"Paul, you really shou-"

"Seth, shut the fuck up. I'm taking her home whether you like it or not." Paul was pissed and the mere volume of his voice would've given him away.

"Let him go." Sam said to Seth and I could hear Summer and Seth protest. I opened my eyes as Paul slid his arms behind my back and beneath my knees. He lifted me up and somehow a strange eerie weakness appeared.

I found myself being placed in the car like a puppet and the car door was shut gently. I leant against the seat as I turned my back to the driver's seat. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Having him here like this was going to come back and bite me in the ass. And the only one hurt was going to be me. I swallowed away the tears but somehow they had a will of their own and they rushed down my cheeks. I barely made a sound.

"She looks pretty." I whispered. Thinking about Rachel, the girl who Paul was with.

"Julie." Paul said softly, wanting to interrupt my trail of thought.

"Don't." I whispered again. My voice was slightly harsher to make my point come across and it worked. "I don't want to hear it." I swallowed and Paul started the car. As I listened to the engine I couldn't help but say it again.

"She really is pretty."

No words were said afterwards and I turned back to stare at the rain again.

_A/N: *hides* Uhmm, review please? I love to hear your thoughts! _


	2. The Tragedy We Knew As The End

_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Except the plot and the OC's you don't recognize!_

_A/N: So astound with the response! Thank you all of you :) Some people might've noticed that I've taken a more mature approach with this fic and that was fully my intention! This chapter however is the introduction to a conflict that is going to be of a big importance in the entire fic! Hopefully I'm able to convey it properly and hopefully you will like it :) Things are still a tad in the dark and that might add to the confusion but don't worry, as the fic will progress, things will clear up! Eventually!_

_Most have wondered about the imprint bond and whether it's broken! I can say with confidence **YES**, Julie and Paul are still imprinted! **YES,** Rachel knows about the pack! And **YES**, Rachel has been a part of Paul's past after the break up with Julie, but it wasn't of importance because we all know breaking an imprint bond is impossible! No one can come in between once the bond is established! Not even the Alpha's sister! Got it? Furthermore, Breaking Dawn has happened, except for the imprinting between Rachel and Paul since it isn't possible in my Twilight fic! But the rest has happened. Only the Cullen's have decided to leave Forks for the imprint between **Nessie and Jake hasn't happened **either! I'm sorry but I just HATE that ship! So I decided to cut that out! So with the **Cullens OUT **of Forks, what wil the future of the pack be? Read to find out :) Enjoy and please let me know your thoughts!_

_Song used** Tragedy **by **Brandi Carlile**!_

_The Tragedy We Knew As The End_

_The soft breeze was almost like a caress. It was comforting, so soft that I found myself moving closer to it. The light brightened my vision beneath my closed eyelids, colouring my view red. I felt another brush and I opened my eyes. The tender touch beckoning me to wake up. What I saw however, wasn't as soft and tender as it seemed to be. It was bright, too bright. And the soft caress was turning harsher and I pulled away from the hand. I looked around and realized I was in the woods. The soft branches that hung low were the ones that caressed me and I let out a breath. The trees were swaying as the wind hit the towers with its force. There was no comfort here. I felt something wet and looked down, seeing my bare feet on the damp soil, but my feet were stained red and I gasped moving backwards._

_A strange noise cut off any train of thought and I looked around, the source of the sound still unknown when out of nowhere Paul appeared. I eyed him tentatively. He was only wearing cut off shorts and he barely made any sound as he moved towards me. His eyes were focused on me and something in his demeanour made move to him. Somewhere halfway we met. He put his overly hot hand on my face and moved down to my shoulders. I realized I was just as bare as he was, my skimpy nightgown the only thing covering me. His hand ran down to my hand and he entwined our fingers. He bent forward and pressed his warm lips against mine. I immediately responded. I hadn't tasted him in such a way for far too long and having him here like this fuelled the desire I had so long suppressed._

_Our kiss was lazy __and there was no rush as both of us thoroughly explored each other's mouth. It was as if we were getting reacquainted with each other all over again and I pushed myself to my toes to wrap my arms around his neck. His hot hands settled on my waist as he drew me closer to him when suddenly his demeanour changed. His hands, that always were gentle were now rough and almost painful. His kiss hurt as he bit down on my lip. I gasped and pulled away when suddenly I realized that this wasn't Paul. Despite his hot temperature, this was no Paul. I blinked and put my fingers to my mouth and pulled away only to be confronted with blood. I cried out in shock and stepped away and eyed the stranger in front of me._

"_Bryce?" I gasped and he gave me a smirk. The chilling look in his eyes shocked me and I felt a rush of panic go through me. Not again._

_"Julie?" I spun on my heels and saw to my horror the real Paul. I turned around again and looked at Bryce as he gave me a casual smile._

"_Hasn't this happened before?" He questioned with a conceited grin and I felt tears burn. I turned around to Paul again. His eyes, full of hurt and anger, terrified me and guilt shook me._

"_Paul, no. You don't understand." I brought out difficulty. As if any excuse could fix this wrong. "I thought it was you and it was a mistake. I wouldn't-"_

"_There is nothing that can ever fix this Julie." Paul said coldly and I realized that I was moving towards Paul and I grasped his arm in a frenzy, obviously panicked. I wanted him to understand that this was just a silly misunderstanding and that there wasn't anything in the world that would make me commit such a foolish act. I didn't want to._

"_But it's a mistake Paul. Please." I gasped and Paul grabbed my hand and forcefully pushed me away. His brown eyes twisted in anger. "No, don't leave me." I cried when he started to move backwards before he faded in the fog that was now present. He couldn't leave me again. Not now! I turned around to Bryce in anger._

"_What have you done?" _

"_I didn't do anything Julie." His words chilled me from the inside and I shivered as I looked at him with blurry eyes. "He started it, I'm merely finishing it." _

"_What? What did he start?" I asked, confusion filling me up. "What do you need to finish?"_

"_This." Bryce looked down and I followed his gaze. The red liquid that was staining my feet was now surrounding me and I realized I was standing in a pool of blood. I grimaced and screamed as I tried to back away. I eyed Bryce with panic in my eyes. How could he just stand there? His brown hair was askew and suddenly he shifted and to my horror his skin started to tear apart, making room for black fur. I yelped when my feet hit something solid and I fell down._

_My back hit the ground with a painful thud and to my surprise I fell into another pool of wet liquid. I kicked away the restraining hurdle when I realized that the 'hurdle' was actually a body. An unrecognizable body though, one whose face couldn't be identified as he was covered in blood. I put my hands to my mouth as nausea churned in my stomach. I gasped and tried to back away but something was restraining me. I looked down, my eyes trailing down the path from my arm to the thing that had me in its grip. A paw held down my hand. My eyes followed the black fur and I saw to my horror a strange wolf._

_His teeth bared for me to see as he snarled. His foul breath washed over my face and I realized that blood was dripping off his snout. His eyes, a strange colour of pale blue, were focused on me before moving to the body. I put two and two together._

_Bryce._

"_Remember, he started it." The wolf murmured and I let out a shriek. _

I woke up, still screaming and I kicked away the restraining sheets and sat up straight. I was breathing loudly and looked down at my skin. My eyes seeking the stains of blood. There wasn't anything there. I breathed out relieved and put my hands on either side of me and leant against the headboard. This dream was new. Yes, I had dreamt about Bryce and Paul. I had dreamt about Bryce ruining my relationship with Paul. But never had Bryce turned into something like this. Something that was so close to something like what Paul was. Only, Paul was more human than that. The La Push pack didn't have wolves like that.

Bryce, his black fur, his shape, looked more like horse. Lean, defined, his muscles emphasized as I tried to recall certain details. I turned to the clock on my nightstand. It showed that it was 5:54 in the morning. I sighed and rubbed my eyes in exhaustion. Another night cut off short as I tend to turn in far too late and wake up far too early. I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand and realized that I was sweating. I let out a defeated sigh and moved out of bed. I grabbed the robe and wore it over my black night gown. It was fairly simple and only reached my knees. As I moved down to the stairs, momentarily delaying moving down the stairs by checking on my mother who was still sleeping, I heard strange noises.

Cars mostly, but also a siren.

It would've been normal had it been later in the morning but since it wasn't I quickly made my way to the front door. As my skin protested against the harsh weather I descended down the porch. Near the woods there was an ambulance. It's siren now probably waking up everyone in the area. I frowned and I found myself walking to the scene. There was a patrol car located near the ambulance. Two officers marking down a spot with their famous yellow tape.

Suddenly I realized I wasn't the only one and I saw the close neighbours move out of their houses, eye the situation with cautious curiosity. I swallowed away the sudden irrational panic and tried to calm myself down. La Push was a fairly quiet reservation and nothing ever truly happened, but now, I wasn't so sure. I eyed the two officers who were bent over something as suddenly I recognized someone. I gasped and I ducked beneath the yellow tape. I ignored the cry of the officers as he shouted to me I wasn't allowed here.

"Paul!" I cried out in confusion. He was talking to someone as he sat on the edge of ambulance. His bare skin exposed. There were tracks of dried blood and dirt on his skin and I quickened my pace in the panic that threatened to overwhelm me.

"Paul!" I repeated. "What happened to you?" I demanded. Momentarily forgetting the strain between the two of us. I grabbed his bicep as he eyed me with shock.

"Julie? What are you doing here? You're not allowed to be here." He clarified and he got up. I looked at the EMT who was close to us and he gave me a cautious smile before moving away. Paul thanked him and I found myself touching his skin carefully.

"Is that yours?" I felt nauseas and I paled with the thought that it might've been his.

"No." He quickly responded. "No it's not mine. Don't worry about that Julie." I nodded and Paul grabbed my hand before pulling me out of the chaos. I hadn't realized that there were so many people here now. "Let's get out of here."

"But what happened? Why are all these people here? I don't understand." I murmured. Paul glanced down at me, his eyes lingering on the exposed skin. A rush of heat went through me as I realized that I enjoyed having his eyes on me like that. _Not now Julie!_

"I'll tell you later on, let's just focus on getting out of here first." Paul said firmly. His voice gruff and I felt myself yearn for more. Ever had the feeling that you could get undone with a simple touch? I was having that right now, despite the fact that I shouldn't. Despite the fact that it was over. Despite the fact that something like that wasn't ever going to happen again. Despite the current situation.

"Okay." I brought out difficultly and we passed the officers, one holding a white sheet as he laid it down, trying to cover the one thing I wished I never had seen.

I stopped in my tracks as my inside turned to ice. Surely my eyes must be fooling me. There is no way that something like that could possibly be hidden beneath that sheet. I felt my insides churn and before I knew it I was starting to gasp for breath. My hands cooling down to a temperature it could be mistaken for ice.

Beneath the sheet was a person. Only you couldn't recognize him or her because of all the blood. There was so much blood as the torn skin showed me the living things in a person's body. A hot hand tugged me and I fell to my knees on the ground. Right in front of me was a dead person who was slaughtered beyond recognition. I blinked as my vision blurred with tears. As quickly as possible Paul pulled me on my feet and guided me away, my weight mostly held up by him. His arm was around me as he held me to his side urging my feet to move. The string of profanities escaping his mouth barely registering in my mind.

Once I couldn't see it anymore I was pulled to a stop, on a safe distant from the horrible mess. The officers looking at me with a disapproving scowl. I knew that this was exactly what they had wanted to avoid. A civilian panicking because of the sight of the gruesome deed. Of course that civilian had to be me.

"Who was that?" I gasped and Paul shushed me as he seated me on the steps in front of the porch of my house. He crouched down and I found myself looking past his shoulder to the entire scene. Somehow I couldn't keep myself away despite the horror.

"Julie, don't look." Paul ordered and I forced myself to look at him. His brown eyes were frustrated and I realized he wasn't touching me anymore. I frowned. The distance between the two of us emphasizing the failure of communication between the two of us.

"Paul." I croaked, hoping he couldn't sense I was hurt. "You were there? How?"

"I found him." He murmured and I slowly nodded my head.

"During your patrol?" I guessed and he nodded. Slightly taken back by the casual tone.

"Do you what it was? An animal? Because it surely looked like an animal attack. No person could do that, right?" Paul looked at me carefully, his eyes betraying the fact that he barely trusted me. Another jab that made me gasp for air.

"I don't know." He lied and I nodded, not even bothering to push him for answers. It wasn't as if I was going to get any. I couldn't care less about that. This horrible sight was indeed awful and I could barely watch but somehow everything paled when it came to Paul.

Suddenly I thought back to my dream. The one I had this morning. In which both Paul and Bryce appeared. In which Bryce turned into a wolf. In which I saw a body. That was just as battered as the one I saw just a second ago, the aftermath of an attack in real life. I leant heavily on my hands as I tried to take a deep breath.

Maybe it was a coincidence?

But something like this never was a coincidence and I scrunched close my eyes. Shaking all the way. A hot hand covered mine and it pulled me out of my brief panic. I snapped my eyes to Paul and realized he was saying something to me. I frowned as I eyed his mouth hoping to uncover his words. But his inaudible voice never came to me. It was like tunnel vision, nothing else mattered but the one thing I could see at the end of the tunnel. And this time, it wasn't Paul who was waiting for me. This time it was Bryce. In his black fur skin.

"Hey!" Paul shouted and he grabbed my hand, breaking my balance. He quickly steadied me with his other hand, grabbing hold on my waist. "Julie, what the hell was that?" He was referring to my stupor.

I blinked. "I... uhh.. what?" My words stumbling.

"You're pale." He informed me. He put his hand on my forehead before he realized what he was doing. But this touch of skin was only brief for he had come out of his stupor soon enough and he snatched back his hand before retracting fully.

"Yeah." I responded back blandly. The ache of rejection now being pushed back as the panic was more dominant. There would be another time to hurt about this.

"I h-have to go." I mumbled and I scrambled back to my feet. Wanting to get rid of this exposed feeling that defined the weakness in me. Paul didn't react and to my surprise and disappointment he let me go just as easily as he had pulled me to him. I ignored the tears and the sob that was about to escape my chest and focused on getting inside as soon as possible. The front door slammed shut behind me and I found myself running up the stairs. My mother was now standing in the doorway and she eyed me with shock.

"Julie?" She whispered. The traces of grief and hurt still apparent. "What is going on?"

"Nothing." I muttered before I shut the door of my bedroom. I fell against the door, my back pressed against it as I thought of the worst thing that could possibly happen right now.

I slid down the door and balanced my weight on my heels. I rested my elbows on my knees as I ran my hands through my hair. The sobs escaping and my tears falling down freely.

Only a coincidence. That was all to it. One simple and silly coincidence.

But then why didn't if feel like that?

I moved to the window and pushed away the curtains as I gently peeked through the glass. Everything looked so different from way up here. Surreal, but at the same time less painful too. Paul wasn't near the porch anymore. In fact he was back at the scene again as suddenly a black haired woman appeared. Dressed in the same clothes as the EMT I saw near the ambulance. She was standing near Paul and I felt a stab of envy. Painful envy as it coursed through my veins. It bothered me immensely that she was standing so close to him. It wouldn't have bothered me had the situation been different between Paul and I. Knowing he would never betray me. But we were way past that, since the betrayal had come from my side.

The woman wrapped her arms around Paul and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. That girl used to be me you know. The one who would be in his embrace. Instead I was the one looking from the outside in and I realized that I hated this part with every fibre in my being. I swallowed away the lump as I ignored the tears that fell. If he wanted to play it like this then I suppose I had no other choice but play along.

I was broken. But it didn't take a scientist to see that he was broken too.

I rested my forehead against the cold glass, its chill spreading through my body. If only I could go back in time and erase the past four years. If I could go back I would've done something instead, I would've fought for him. I would've doubled the effort to make things clear to Paul. That I never wanted anything to do with Bryce. That it was a mistake, that it had happened because he had come on to me. I never responded. I wouldn't have let Paul go in the first place.

And now it was too late.

Imprint or no imprint, there are some things even we can't overcome. Regardless any bond that tied us together.

The pains started and I realized I was starting to grief all over again. And it was all for Paul.

Again.

_A/N: Your thoughts will be welcomed with open arms :D I love to hear from you guys :)_


	3. And I Need To Stop Missing You

_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine._

_A/N: I am terribly sorry for the long wait. Exams, annoying guests who don't grant you any privacy, not to mention the ability to not update because of that made it hard for me to do anything with this story. Especially because I'm very, very frequent with updating, I personally think so, made my aggravation even bigger because I had neglected this story! But honestly, your reviews made my day! You guys kept hanging there and wow, I'm astound with your loyalty! Thank you, all of you, for reviewing! I mostly reply to your reviews but some send me anonymous reviews and I'd like to give my love to them too :) Thank you sooo much :D You have no idea how happy that makes me :) Anyways, here is the next chapter, enjoy :)_

_Song used **I Can't Fix Us Two **by **Katie Costello**. _

_And I Need To Stop Missing You_

Something was wrong with me. I was like a wreckage. All broken and torn apart. The whole world could see and there was nothing anyone could possibly do to fix this calamity. I was defect. Broken beyond recognition. I was thoroughly disgusted with myself. How could I have let it go so far that I've reached a point where I could barely recognize myself, let alone expect someone else to see me. Trying to fit in was harder than I thought, the worst part, I used to fit in. And now I don't. It felt so strange to actually be like this now. First my dad died. I barely felt anything. Granted I barely _liked_ the guy but he was my father and I did _love_ him. If that made any sense! But with that I didn't feel anything. Nothing!

Yet with Paul. It's all I can feel. It's like I have pushed the grief aside and instead of mourning for my dad I'm mourning for Paul. Because I wanted something that was long gone. He may not have anything with Rachel. I found out that they were just 'friends'. I wondered what kind of friends. But they were something alright. Right after Paul and I broke up he turned to Rachel. Hoping she could break the imprint between the two of us.

And I think it worked.

But why do I get the feeling he still cared. The fact he came to find me during the funeral had to mean something. He even brought me home. Yes he did try to touch me as little as possible but that didn't prolong the inevitable. Because our physical touches were still there. Small and maybe even insignificant, but it was still there. It didn't change things though. I still felt defect. Something is wrong with me. For no sane person would pine for someone who was clearly long gone. It was like Paul and I both had died and this was what was left of us.

Practically nothing.

Empty.

"Julie?" I blinked. Pulled out of my reverie and turned to the young woman next to me. I stopped breathing.

Rachel.

"Remember me?" She asked with a gentle smile on her face and I nodded slowly.

"Yeah." I croaked. "Rachel, right?" She nodded and gave me another smile.

It hurt me.

I suppose this just had to be my worst day. Of all the places to run into Rachel Black, it had to be the grocery store. When I looked like utter crap. There weren't many people here but the few were recognized me as Finn Lynam's daughter. Go figure. My dad was a great surgeon. Everyone had heard of his death, so naturally they recognized me as well. Especially since the fiasco during the funeral. I sighed and grabbed the offending object I needed and put it in the cart.

"So how are you?" I shrugged as she tried to keep up a conversation. If I was honest, I wanted to lash out to her. But then again, why would I even bother? I turned to her and gave her a calculated look. I dared her to ask that same question again.

She bit her lip and the smile faded from her unblemished skin and she gave me a short nod. "Right, well. It was nice to see you." I smiled back weakly. I strongly doubted she actually liked to see me because if it was the truth, the pleasure came only from one side. She quickly moved down the aisle before leaving my sight and I let out a deep sigh. The pain in my chest somehow intensifying.

If only she wasn't so fucking polite. Maybe then I'd be able to punch her face. Then again, my punches never were truly magnificent!

I moved to the cashier and paid for my groceries and I walked out of the shop with the bag in my hands. My car was in the parking lot and as the faint murmur of the rain hitting the pavement reached my ears I couldn't help but think that maybe it was a good thing for me to go back to New York. Obviously there wasn't much for me left here. If I stayed here... I couldn't bear to think about that. I took a deep breath feeling the pin prickles stabbing me from the inside. It was a strange feeling, and the only reason it hurt was because the feeling was so uncomfortable and reminded me of one thing.

That I wasn't whole.

And it didn't matter what I did. This feeling of being so incomplete was here to stay. And it remained the way it was. I shivered and I put my groceries in the backseat before I moved to the driver's seat. My foot slipped in the puddle of water and I felt myself topple backwards. I slammed my head onto the concrete and a whoosh of air escaped my mouth. I wasn't sure how long I lay there but at some point I groaned as the pain assaulted my body. My back was wet because of the puddle and I felt dizzy of the impact. Only I could be clumsy at a time like this.

I blinked a few times as the rain filled up my eyes and suddenly in my blurry vision a face appeared. It was vaguely familiar and as I blinked away the rainy tears the face sharpened and I was able to put a name to the face that hovered above me. I frowned.

"Jacob?" I murmured and he smiled.

"Oh good! You're awake." He bent his knees and put his awfully large, not to mention incredibly hot, hands on my waist and helped me to a sitting position.

"Ah." I cried out and I put my palm against my forehead. "Wave of vertigo." I murmured and I could see the concern on his face. "I'm fine, don't worry." I said quickly and he raised his eyebrows.

"Sure, sure." He mumbled, not convinced. With a few awkward moments he hoisted me up on my feet. "Where are your keys?" I pulled them out of my pocket and in a blink of an eye he had plucked them out of my hand. "I'll drive you home."

"Oh no! You don't have to Jacob! Really, I'm fine. It's just a bump." He scoffed with an amused look on his face and helped me in the passenger seat. His hands on my hips. Suddenly the situation became a bit hilarious and subconsciously I was starting to doubt my sanity.

"What?" Jacob asked as he quickly closed my door and got in from the other side.

"Trying to feel me up Black?" I muttered, referring to the fact his hands had brushed my ass. Jacob glanced at me quickly before muttering something. It was something along the lines of "Paul would have my head."

That sobered me up immediately. "I'm not with Paul anymore." I murmured. I could feel his eyes on me and I sighed looking out of the window.

We were moving in a slug speed and I felt incredibly exhausted. As if every ounce of energy was being drained out of my body. I couldn't help it. And I think that was the worst part. Not being able to do anything because you are simply not up for it. Not to mention the sense of disappointed towards yourself. "Yeah." Jacob said from beside me. "Yeah I know that."

I didn't react.

Jake had his own troubles to deal with. It's been five years since the Cullens had left and that had hit Jacob real hard. I eyed him through the corner of my eyes. His dark short hair. His strong jaw. His abnormally large hands. His dark russet skin, so alike mine. I let out a soft sigh.

"Jacob, h-how did you f-feel when..." I trailed off and I could see Jake turn his head to me quickly before focusing his eyes on the road again. An indication for me to continue. "When Bella left?" I swallowed thickly, my throat constricting. I bit my lip and waited for an answer. None came though. There was this blanket of silence that was so thick that at some point I was barely able to breathe.

"I don't like it when Paul's not around." I murmured. I focused my eyes on my hands that lay in my lap. "It's strange... I don't really know how to explain but it's like there is this...this ache. Like you can't breathe and it is hard to focus. Half of the time I feel like I'm not here even though I am. I-I'm..." I let out a harsh breath. "God, I'm such a wreck."

"Julie." Jacob began.

"I don't feel right." I continued, not giving Jake a second thought. "Like I'm defect or something. Is that how you felt? Like you're broken and there is nothing that can... that can fix this feeling... Because I'm trying here..." I pursed my lips before continuing. My eyes were starting to blur. "Yet it's not working."

Silence engulfed us and I realized I had overstepped my lines. Not only did I make things harder I had confessed something to a person I barely spoke with. Having him know my biggest issue felt strange. Especially since I only confessed it to myself. Now he knew too. I scrunched close my eyes and I felt tears roll down my cheeks. The dampness clung to my skin.

"Just like that." Jacob suddenly said. He turned his eyes to me. "It feels e_xactly _like that."

A dry sob escaped my mouth.

"I know she is your sister." I tried. "But I really don't like her." Jacob let out a small laugh.

"Trust me, Rachel is a nice person. But I didn't like what happened between the two of them either." He looked at me. His brown eyes kind. "It's over though." I shrugged.

"I don't quite think so." He gave me a disbelieving look. So I elaborated. "They seem close."

"Julie, he is _your_ imprint. I've been in his head." I smiled weakly at that. "I know what he feels for_ you_. Granted you screwed up. But he still loves you. He's just hurt. And Rachel, well she always was a good friend. But that's it!"

"So the imprint isn't broken?" I mumbled. His head whipped to mine.

"What?" He said incredulously. "Why would you say that?"

"Nothing. It's just..." I trailed off.

"Julie, _nothing_ can break an imprint." I put my hand against my forehead. The throbbing now in the background but still. "Once the relationship between the two is established it is practically impossible to get rid of that. Especially since both you and Paul have one of the strongest imprints." I shrugged.

"It doesn't feel like that."

Jacob parked the car in front of my house and switched off the engine. The silence that engulfed us now was even more emphasized when you couldn't hear the engine rumbling. I took a deep breath and my throat constricted painfully.

"There is a bonfire tonight." Jake said. "You should come."

"Rather not Jacob." I replied evenly.

"Seth and I will pick you up at nine." He continued as if he hadn't heard me. "This is your opportunity to fix things Julie."

"We'll see." I breathed out. I was reluctant to go because if I was honest. I was in no mood to go to this bonfire and be all cheery. Especially since Paul would be there too. With Rachel, which was even worse. I knew she was Jacob's sister but I surely didn't like her one bit.

Both of us got out of the car and Jacob handed me the keys before going back and grabbing the groceries bag. I thanked him for his chivalry. It seems it hasn't died out yet. I didn't protest nor did I even bother to. Because I knew that it had no use anyways. Jacob put the paper bags on the kitchen counter before moving back to the front door.

"Be ready at nine!" He gave me a smile and I couldn't help but respond to it. Jacob's smile was as blinding as the sun and as contagious as laryngitis. Pardon my analogy but it is the only way I could explain it. "See you tonight."

"Thank you! Bye!" I responded and I eyed him pull his shirt over his head before disappearing between the trees. How many times had I watched Paul do that? I let out a shaky breath and turned around, only to be confronted with my mother. There was a certain smell coming off her and as I noticed the glass in her hands I had no problem putting two and two together.

"It's a bit early to drink. Don't you think?" I asked my mother and she gave me a simple shrug. The only indication she had heard me.

Ever since dad this whole house was turned upside down. My absence, both physical and mentally, had taken its toll on my mother so when dad died. There was no one left but an estranged daughter who had her own heart broken. She sat down on the couch and as she walked past me a whiff of alcohol washed over me. So even my mother knew that the only way to forget is to indulge until you drop. I hadn't said anything, nor did I bother to. For I knew that me saying anything would be hypocritical.

"Why haven't I seen Paul?" My mother suddenly mentioned and I stiffened. Why would she ask when she already knew the answer? "I haven't seen him in quite a long time." For someone who was intoxicated she still was able to talk properly.

"We're not together anymore." I said softly and my mother snorted.

"Is that even possible? The both of you were attached to the hip! What happened?" She demanded and I let out a harsh breath.

"Mom!" I cried out. "You know what happened. He broke up with me, remember?"

She turned her brown eyes to me and to my surprise I saw anger. "What did you do?"

"Nothing mom!" I retorted and I ignored her after that, quickly putting the groceries away before I moved up the stairs. The ache only intensifying. I wondered how my mother could live with it?

Well, the alcohol sort of did point out the obvious. She couldn't bear to live without him, but still! How does a _person_ live with it when they don't have another choice?

After all, he is my soul mate. Or should I say, w_as_.

_**XXXXXXX**_

Jacob followed his promise. Or should in my case, his threat. He picked me up. Seth was there with Summer and I listened to their banter behind me. Summer had asthma and despite the fact she was a resident, so she knew the risks of forgetting her inhaler, she still forgot it. Depending on Seth completely to bring her inhalers. She didn't have much asthma attacks, or at least, not when I was there. But I've heard from her brother and even Seth that it could get quite bad. I turned my head to look behind me. Both Seth and Summer were so perfect for each other it actually hurt. I couldn't help but smile at the two of them.

"I knew you were bringing it, Seth!" Summer gritted out. Seth rolled his eyes and put the inhaler in her purse.

"And what if I hadn't brought it with me? Then what. Sum?" Summer caught my eyes and rolled them. I laughed.

"He's always like this! It's so annoying!" She mentioned and Seth let out an exasperated breath.

"I'm just taking care of you! You know that asthma's dangerous!" I pursed my lips at the sight of Summer.

"I can handle it! You know I'm not that prone to those attacks anyways. You don't have to babysit me!" She defended herself. Her green eyes were flashing and Seth quirked one of his eyebrows before putting his arm around her shoulder.

"You don't know that! And I'm not babysitting you!"

"Yes you are!"

"Summer! For a resident you're pretty stupid, you know the risks!" She hit him in the arm. He didn't flinch.

"Yes Seth! I am aware of the risks." She exclaimed. "And don't bring them for me, okay? I'll take care it myself!"

Seth shrugged and the car was engulfed in silence. I settled down in my spot again and looked at Jacob who was driving. There was a grin on his face the whole time and I couldn't help but laugh with him.

"I have your refill, in case you lose yours!" Seth suddenly said and my eyes softened as Summer gave him a small peck. Her previous anger long forgotten.

"Thanks!"

We arrived at the beach and to my surprise it hadn't rained whole day long. That was a surprise since we lived in the rainiest place in the whole freaking country. So naturally, no rainy days were rare. A part of me was hoping it would start raining. For I wouldn't have come. Using it as an excuse. But I also knew that Jake, Seth and Summer would've seen through it, so technically I would've ended up here anyways. Only less dry.

"Come on Julie!" Seth said as he opened the door. "What are you waiting for?" He pulled me out of the car and I grabbed hold of the door, preventing myself from kissing the ground.

"Nothing." I mumbled as I straightened myself.

The small party consisted the whole pack and their significant others. So that made me wonder again what the hell I was doing. My eyes quickly scanned the people that were huddled around the fire and to my surprise I saw that Paul wasn't there. I wasn't sure whether I felt good or bad about it. A hand touched my arm and I looked up, seeing Kim Sudol. I gave her a smile and she quickly wrapped her arms around me. I had almost forgotten how powerful her hugs could be.

"Easy Kim! Let her breathe." I heard Jared's voice from behind her and Kim let me go. I took in a huge gulp of air and she let out a small laugh, before mumbling an apology.

"No problem!" I responded and Jared gave me a small hug. He was always awkward hugging anyone else besides Kim. I personally found it hilarious that he was so afraid of giving Kim the wrong idea that refrained himself from giving other girls hugs. Despite the fact that Kim wasn't a jealous person at all. Summer had taken that part on her.

"I'm so glad you came." Kim exclaimed. Her hair was cut short, reaching her chin. Her dark eyes twinkling in the dark. She had changed, that I could see. There was some maturity in the way she carried herself and I suppose that it was time for her to become a woman instead of being coped up as a girl. But then again, sometimes it was a good thing someone was able to hang on to being a girl. I'd do anything to go back to the time when I was a girl. Simplicity was one of the reasons why.

"She is." Jared quipped. "She's been whining for you to come." I gave Kim a small smile and eyed the arm that was wrapped around her waist.

"And now you're here." She said softly. "Come on, let's go to Emily. She has a big surprise you know!" I let Kim tug me to the table that was located near the fire, where all the food and drinks were at. Emily was standing with her back to me and I could see her settle down everything properly. Her slim hands shimmering in the light the flames radiated.

"Em! Guess who is here." Kim called out and Emily turned around. Her eyes widened as she saw me. I barely saw her scars anymore. Partly because I was used to it, but also because she was just as beautiful with them as without them! She was probably the one person that could come across as unblemished regardless her scars.

"Julie! Good to see you." She gave me a kiss on my cheeks. "How are you?"

"Good. It's nice to see you again." She nodded and Kim suddenly nudged Emily.

"Don't you have something to say?" She asked with a knowing smile and Emily rolled her eyes.

"I'm pregnant."

Wow.

"And I think that Kim is even more excited than me!" Emily said as she gave Kim a nudge back. Kim rolled her eyes.

"Of course I am! I'm gonna be an aunt!" She cooed. "And so are you, Jules!" I winced hearing _that_ name but as unobservant as Kim was, she didn't notice. Emily did however and a flash of worry shimmered in her eyes.

Suddenly I heard Jared yelling for Kim and she excused herself, leaving me alone with Emily. Both of us didn't speak and for some reason it didn't feel as uncomfortable as I thought it'd be. Maybe because Emily continued doing her work without giving me the pressure I felt when I was with Summer or sometimes even Seth.

I eyed everyone and felt a wave of nostalgia wash over me. I couldn't remember the last time I was on a bonfire with everyone there. But I did know it was a long time ago. A very, very long time ago. Jacob, Seth, Summer were sitting with Quil and Embry and I could hear the laughter as Quil explained something, using his hands as Embry shook his head and rolled his eyes. Sam was with Jared and Kim, talking gently. Brady was with Collin, talking to an annoyed Leah who obviously tried to ditch the two. It didn't work as well as she would want to. A smile appeared on my face seeing that particular scene play out. One thing kept missing though. Paul wasn't there. Nor was Rachel. I assumed they were together.

"He's not here." Emily murmured softly from besides me. "He'll come soon though." I shrugged.

"I wasn't looking for him." I lied. She gave me a disbelieving look and I chose not to react.

I knew the pity and frankly I was almost used to it by now. The fact that my father died, the love of my life moved on, and that I lost everything I've worked for sort of made people find me sad. I hated that but I couldn't care less. I was more caught up in the fact that I lost everything, the pain was too dominant for me to ignore that. The opinions of others forgotten as the ache increased every single day. I turned my eyes to the table and heard a car approach. I snapped my head to the sound and as the engine was shut off and the door opened, I was confronted with Paul Matson. Rachel Black slammed the door of the passenger seat.

I guess I was right after all.

_A/N: Let me know your thoughts :) I'll be superduper happy!_


	4. But Those Days Are Gone

_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine._

_A/N: So I updated in less than two weeks :) Good nah? I was so astound with the response for the last chapter! Despite the lack of Paul action you guys still liked it :) I'm so befuddled that people are enthusiastic about my over inventive imagination xD Anyways, this chapter has some confrontation, as expected and well I hope you will like it :) Also for the avid fans, I have some great news! One of the sweetest person on earth! DanaIsis, made a video for Oh Jules. The link is on my profile! You should definitely check it out :D I love, love, love it :D I guess you guys will too :) So check it out , and in the mean time, enjoy this chapter :)_

_P.S I have a new story: **Simultaneous Hearts**, another Paul/OC story, but then AU and without the hassle of supernatural things. It'll probably be onl in Paul's POV. I wanted to explore his character and thought that this story would be helpful for me. It's on my page and hopefully you guys will like it :) Btw, Paul is a soldier! Can't you guys picture him like that xD I know I can xD A bit too good :P_

_Song used **Airplanes **by **B.O.B & Hailey Williams**_

_But Those Days Are Gone_

Communication was the one thing I had a hard time with. Mostly, because the words I used never would be enough to express what I felt. Every word I used was not good enough and I used every wrong word. I suppose this is what people call karma. Ironically enough, communication always was the one thing Paul and I worked on. Yet communication torn us apart. I bet he had no trouble communicating with Rachel. I leant against the table and felt Emily's eyes on me as I watched Rachel and Paul move to the crowd of friends. Both of them being greeted with a lot of enthusiasm. I could see the happiness on Rachel's face as Paul smirked at Quil, I guessed he said something funny.

"Julie?" Emily's voice rang in the dark and at the same moment Paul's eyes met mine. I had to resist the urge to shake. I blinked at him once before he turned his eyes away. A sharp throb in my chest filled up the empty hollowness. I turned to Emily. The sadness in her eyes didn't really make things easier so I decided to grab a beer instead.

"I'm fine." I muttered quietly and I heard Emily sigh. At least she didn't push me to elaborate. I suspected she wanted to though, then again. Emily always wanted to help people.

The night passed by slower than I thought it would and I found myself retreating slowly. I mostly sat with Emily who stayed with me out of loyalty. I told her many times to go but she said she was perfectly fine with me and I found myself not caring afterwards. If she wanted to stay with me then she was allowed to. I mostly kept to myself anyways, and the beer. I wasn't sure how much I had drunk but I did know that now it was starting to affect me. How amazing was that?

To top things off I could see Paul turn his eyes to me more than once and I knew by the way he clenched his jaw and the flashing in his eyes that he was angry. His hands were fists and I could see the muscles clench in his forearms. How predictable could he possibly be? If there was one thing I could calculate it had to be his anger. It started with the physical features and from there it would move to snappy words. And eventually he'd snapped and he'd use his fists. Like I said, predictable.

Fortunately, I was able to calm him down a bit before. Now, Rachel did that. I could see her hand on his clenched fist. I felt my stomach churn and I moved my eyes to the sea. It was black in the night and even though I could hear the waves crash. There was no wind and barely no rain. Just a bit of a drizzle that was easy to ignore. After all, we were used to so much more. I grabbed another bottle of beer and I wondered how many bottles I've had. I was no hardcore drinker, so this stuff affected me much sooner than I thought it would.

"Oye. Julie!" I looked up and saw Jake stand in front of me. I could see the disapproval in his eyes and before I knew it he had pulled me up on my feet. "You do realize you're being anti-social." He informed and I shrugged.

"I don't see anyone complaining Jake." He rolled his eyes at my remark.

"Well I am. Come on." Jacob pulled me towards the small crowd that included Embry, Quil and of course our happy couple, Rachel and Paul. Note the sarcasm. A wave of panic clouded my vision and I struggled against Jacob's strong grip. He couldn't possibly be kidding, right? He wanted me to join _them_.

"Jacob, I'm not going there! Let me go!" I hissed and I could hear the low chuckle that escaped Jacob's mouth. I glared at him as I struggled. Anger was making space for real fear. I honestly didn't want to go. "Oh, Jake! No, I can't. Don't make me! Please!"

Jacob sighed, halting his movements. "Julie. This is your chance. Take it!" I grunted.

"I'm not you! I don't do confrontations well! So, let me go back to Emily! Or, take me home. But I don't want to go there. Please." I pleaded but Jacob didn't listen and he pulled me to the crowd. I turned my back against them and Jacob forcefully turned me around. He kept his hands on my shoulders, preventing me to escape. I could see Quil chuckle as Embry gave me a pitiful smile, although his eyes shone with mirth. Rachel however, looked confused, and I resisted the urge to wipe that awkward look off her face. I didn't even look at Paul.

"Look whose here." Jacob said and I clenched my jaw and raised my hand, waving at Quil and Embry.

"I was wondering where you ran off to!" Quil said. I frowned. "But I see you've been _indulging _yourself." He nodded to the bottle of beer and I let out a nervous laugh.

"Yeah, I thought, why not. Right?" I took another gulp and refrained from gagging. God, I could feel the nausea creep up on me. I then felt Rachel's eyes on me. I gave her a small smile, hoping she wouldn't catch the bitterness in it. "Rachel! How are you?"

"Good." She said shortly. "How's the head? Heard you took a quite a fall."

I swallowed, irritation bubbling beneath my skin. How the hell did she know? I mean, I doubted Jacob told her what the hell happened. I glanced at Jacob and seeing his guilty expression told me enough. I turned back to Rachel, probably giving her the stink eye. "I did." I said calmly.

"Glad to see there was nothing _serious_." The way she spat her words at me made me question my judgement. And here I was, thinking she was a nice girl. Despite the fact I loathed her with every fibre in my being. God, I couldn't even think properly.

"What happened?" Embry asked, exchanging looks between me and Rachel. I shrugged.

"I just fell, hit my head." I said somewhat blandly and Embry nodded while Quil laughed behind him. I frowned at Quil and he silenced his laughter.

"Well, glad you're okay Julie! I'm gonna get a drink." He shuffled away, back to the table when a silence engulfed us. I felt the urge to flee even more prominent than before. There was nothing worse than trying to escape such a situation but not being able to because you're permanently rooted to the spot.

"So, Rachel." Jacob began. "How's the hospital?" Rachel eyed Jacob strangely before shrugging her shoulders.

"I'm sure it's alright. I wouldn't know. I'm only an EMT! I don't quite know the ins and outs of the hospital. You should ask Summer. She's the resident." She pointed out and he nodded and he rubbed the back of his neck. I observed Rachel movements and tried to compare them to Paul's. The difference from before was that Rachel was trying to get closer only Paul wouldn't let her.

"Where did you go to college, Rachel?" I suddenly asked, my hands rooted to her hand around Paul's.

"Brown." Rachel said stiffly and I nodded, thoroughly impressed.

"Oh, that's great. Tell me though." I began and I knew the second this left my mouth I was gonna have a big mess on my hands. "How does one go from La Push to an Ivy League? What did you do?" Paul's eyes snapped to mine.

"Julie!" Jacob hissed from behind me and I shrugged innocently. Maybe the alcohol truly was affecting me.

"No, really. I'm interested." I said although it may not have come out as convincing as I wanted to. Rachel was glaring at me however before she exchanged a look with Paul. I felt anger bubble inside of me and I shook my bottle, realizing it was empty. "I'm gonna get a drink." I announced and I moved away from Jacob and he let me go. I assumed that he knew it was better to leave me alone right now.

I moved to the table and reached out for a beer when suddenly a hand snatched it away. I spun on my heels only to be confronted with Paul's dark stare. His anger was radiating off him like some kind of halo and his knuckles were practically white while clenching his fists. I swallowed away the surprise and eyed him indifference.

"I was going to drink that." I told him calmly and to my surprise he threw it away in the sand. I raised my eyebrows.

"I don't care." He told me. His voice was low.

"Care to tell me what the hell you want then?" I asked him before turning my back on him. "Rachel is waiting for you. It seems as if she can't _function _without you." I snapped.

"Why did you say that to Rach?" Paul asked and I found a pang in my heart stab me fervently at the casual mention of her name.

"I was genuinely interested." I told him. "Sorry!" I mocked my apology, only fuelling his irritation with me.

"Don't you pull that shit on me Julie. It won't work! Now, go back to her and apologize." Paul ordered and he crossed his arms in front of his chest. I let out an incredulous laugh.

"Funny Paul." I told him. "For a second I thought you were being serious." My sarcasm wasn't getting by unnoticed and his jaw clenched. His own irritation growing by my indifference. "I'm not apologizing to that slag." I moved past him but he grabbed my wrist.

"Julie, this isn't over."

"Don't touch me!" I screamed. For a second everything slowed down. I could see everyone turn around, facing, witnessing, watching our interaction. Our lack of communication again shining its glory. I could feel my chest tighten and I realized I was _this _close to panicking. Only, my anger was far too prominent to swing me to that side. Tears were still absent and in the back of my mind I was waiting for them to appear.

Paul didn't let me go, instead, he pulled me closer. Our chests were practically touching, and they would be, had he not kept my arm in between the two of us. "Why shouldn't I touch you?" Paul asked lowly and I could feel something inside me snap.

"Let go of me!" Tears were blurring my vision, there they were. Appearing with a slam. "Just leave me the fuck alone!" I raised my other arm hitting him on his chest and he let go of my arm in surprise and I stumbled to the ground. I felt my head spin with the overload of emotions. I was feeling so much that I had no idea how to keep my ground. I quickly got back on my feet and I had only one intention. Getting the hell out of here.

I wasn't paying attention the pleas of attention, the people calling my name. I merely stumbled to the closest hiding place. Which was the forest. My mind wasn't focused on the fact that the forest wasn't the safest of places to be at right now. Especially with the recent animal attacks but God, I just needed to get away. Away from those prying looks, the words that evoked the feeling of betrayal. The idea that presented itself was ironic. Here I was, crying about feeling betrayed while it started with me betraying him.

I felt like a blind man, the way I made my way through the dark. It was obvious the alcohol was now making its presence known and I could laugh at the timing of it. At some point I had reached the trees and I leant against one of the trunk of the tree. I put my hand against my mouth, muffling any sound that escaped the clutches of my own hold. How was it, that every time I'd try to fix something I end up ruining it. How could one person be that destructive. They should've gotten rid of me long before this. I should've gotten rid of myself long time ago.

A warm hand grabbed my shoulder and I yelped moving away in shock. Once I realized who it was I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding. I glanced at the tall Quileute. I felt utterly defeated. "Paul, just go! I get it, okay? I get it! Leave me alone."

"Just because it is more convenient for you, doesn't mean I should listen to it Julie." Paul spat. "This isn't over yet."

"Well what do you want me to say? Huh? What is there left to be said anyways?" I demanded. "I get it, okay? You're with Rachel, I see that! I _know _that! But I'm not going to apologize just because she's with you!"

"I'm not going to force you to apologize to her! I just expected better from you." I could feel the disdain in every word he said.

"Then what are you here for?" I cried out. "You don't have a say over me anymore. I'm nothing to you."

Paul let out a harsh sigh, rubbing his hand over his face. "Well, whose fault was that?" I froze. I eyed him through the corner of my eyes, my posture feeling like ice. It was as if I couldn't move. So he was now approaching the whole fucking problem. Now?

"You want to talk about it now?" I asked incredulously. "Now? When both of us know what happened anyways?"

"Enlighten me Jules! Please!" I gasped at his venomous use of my nickname.

"Stop it!" I warned him. I turned around and forced my feet to move deeper into the trees. Maybe one of them could provide me a safe hiding place from Paul.

"Don't walk away from me!" Paul bellowed. "If it's so hard to hear the fucking truth you shouldn't be here in the first place! This is all your fault anyways."

"Don't you think I don't know that?" I screamed back. My throat felt raw with not only the loud volume of my voice but also with the emotions bottled up there. "Don't you think I feel like a complete idiot every single day? Don't you think I regret it every time I see you with _her_?"

"And what about me?" Paul demanded. "You're the one that cheated on me. You're the one that fucked it up in the beginning!"

"You never gave me time to explain!" I tried to defend.

"What was there to explain? You screwed someone else!"

"No I didn't! If you even listened to me you would've known. I said no! I told Bryce I loved _you_, but you didn't even care. You just left!"

"You didn't try hard enough! And since when is it Bryce?" He spat, the hatred in his eyes growing hearing Bryce's name. I flinched.

"That's not important. I tried Paul, but you were so wrapped up in yourself you couldn't listen to me! You just yelled at me and took the next flight home!"

"You could've followed me!" I let out a sob at this and put my hands in front of my face. "How do you think I felt when I saw you with that son of a bitch? Do you think listening to you would be the first thing on my mind? God, how fucking stupid can you possibly be Julie?"

"Well, tell me then! Apparently the message isn't clear yet!" I screamed. For the first time Paul's eyes didn't soften seeing my tears and my chest tightened with pain. I put my hands on my stomach bending over before leaning against a tree. Paul was looking at me with a mixture of anger and worry but his anger was so dominant it took hold of his whole posture.

"So I guess the imprint is broken?" I whispered. I felt like choking.

"Unfortunately, it's not broken." Paul responded. His voice stronger than I'd expected. I turned my eyes to him. "But I wish it was, because I'm fucking done with my obligation towards you. The fact that there is nothing I could possibly owe you should've been enough but somehow I can't even seem to get rid of this fucking imprint."

"Rachel not doing the trick?"

"Julie, for fuck's sake. Rachel and I aren't together." I rolled my eyes in disbelieve. "She's my friend. She was there when you weren't."

"So what are you saying?" I demanded.

"Nothing Julie! I'm not saying anything." Paul murmured and turned his eyes to the ground.

"I pushed him away." I tried. "I told him no. I loved you, not him! You, it has always been you."

"It's too late for that Jules." Paul whispered. Tears brimmed over and I let out a sob. God, how much could my heart endure.

"Don't call me that." I choked. "God, don't call me that."

Silence engulfed us and the only thing that could be heard were my sobs and the drops of tears dampening the already damp earth. Everything that we just said kept replaying over and over in my head, like some kind of broken record. I had no clue how to get past that. It was stuck on repeat and everything kept echoing in my head. It was so damn prominent that I felt like collapsing. This whole argument had left us with nothing. We had finally approached the subject but we've come across an impasse. There was nothing that could possibly fix this now.

"We should get back." Paul muttered and he grabbed my arm, hauling me on my feet. I pulled away.

"I'm not going." I told him. My voice broke. Paul turned his eyes on me and he frowned.

"Julie, don't be a fucking idiot. Come on." He grabbed my arm again and pulled me with him but I dug my nails into his hand, wrenching it off me. He let go of me with a shocked expression. "So you're going to stay here then?" He asked. Anger was coating his words.

"Just leave me alone Paul." I murmured and I moved to the opposite direction.

"Julie!" Paul grabbed my arms again. "Look, I don't care what the fuck your problem is. Frankly, I could care less but I am not leaving you here. You've heard about the attacks. Do you have some kind of death wish?"

"Maybe if I got attacked, you would get rid of your obligation towards me." I told him blandly. "After all, death should to the trick right? Break the imprint and all." Paul grabbed hold of my shoulders and shook me a few times.

"It was a rhetorical question Julie. One that wasn't meant to be answered." He grabbed my arm again. "Now move!"

"Paul, I'm saying this one last time. Just leave me the fuck alone!" I pulled away from him, holding my arms close to my chest. "I'll get back on my own, but I don't want to be near you." Oh fuck, I was going to cry again. Paul's eyes hardened and he gave me a small nod.

"Well, you know your way back then." Paul muttered and to my surprise he actually left me alone.

I wasn't sure how long it took me to collapse after he was gone. I just remember the second he left and the seconds that had me on the ground. I didn't care my knees were stained dirty with mud. I didn't care that I was all alone in a forest with no flash light, with no one to tell me how to get back. With no one watching my back. I was all alone now. Just the way I wanted. The sobs were ripping apart my chest, only fuelling the hollowness in this empty chest of mine and at some point I got on my feet and moved in the direction I saw Paul disappear. My feet were moving on their own accord and the small crunches of broken branches snapped beneath my shoes.

The forest was a tricky part and not a lot of people knew these woods by heart. That included me as well. I had some knowledge but once I was deep inside the forest, nearing the heart, I wouldn't be able to find a way back home. I was no guide, nor was I an avid hiker. But I did know that these small hills and holes weren't there when I went inside. Several times I fell, and I was only staining my clothes dirtier than before. I wiped my hand over my face, probably staining it with mud, but I couldn't care less. At some point I lost my balance and I rolled down a slope, coming to a stop in a puddle of mud while hitting something solid. I groaned and tried to sit up straight as I eyed my now ruined clothes.

The mud was thinner than thought and it ran down my fingers like water. I frowned, mud wasn't supposed to do that. I swallowed thickly. Somehow a lump formed itself in my throat and I looked at the hard evidence I was leaning against. In the faint light that shone through the trees I could only see one thing. An arm. It was coated in red liquid and as I turned my eyes back to my clothes I realized I was covered in the same liquid as that arm.

"Oh-h God." I gasped and tremors of fear shook my body.

In front of me was a dead body and I was drenched in its blood. I let out a shriek and stumbled to my feet and tried to climb up the hill. My fear was drowning out any rational thoughts and I only wished for one thing. I should've gone with Paul. I should've left this place once I had the choice. My nausea was churning in my stomach and I felt dizzy with panic. It clouded my mind and some strawberry fog assaulted my fear making me sluggish.

This couldn't be happening.

I dropped my arms against my body and let out a sob before falling to the ground. The body was drawing my attention from every corner and I screamed again before I got back on my feet again.

I just had to get out of here.

_A/N: So how was it? Next chapter will be in Paul's POV. Check out the Oh Jules video, link is on my profile page! And well, don't forget to review :) I love to hear your thoughts :D_


	5. Play No More With The Fool

_Disclaimer: Not mine! BLAH BLAH BLAH!_

_A/N: Okay, so this chapter, it's a monster! Honestly, my longest chapter ever! Over seven thousand words! Holy hell you guys! Well as a result, I'm absolutely knackered. I have no energy what so ever. Hence I haven't proof-read it! So please ignore that, I'll edit it tomorrow :) Okay? It's almost one AM and even though I'm a functioning Insomniatic, I do think I'm gonna pass out any second. Anyways, thank you, all of you for your responses for the last chapter, LOVED IT! I've gotten a few anonymous reviews and I'd like to thank them too! Even though I can't respond to those, I really appreciate them :) On that note._

_**Spark10111: **You quoted John Ciardi, correct me if I'm wrong, "Here, there, up, down, they whirl, and whirling strain, with never a hope of hope to comfort them. Not of release, but even of less pain." And I have to say, you gave this story a whole different meaning. I never actually knew there was a quote that could so blatantly express what Julie and Paul were right now! So thank you and honestly, you have no idea how much I wanna kiss you xD But I'll refrain from doing that, instead, you have my everlasting gratitude for giving me the words I couldn't find :) And a question, is it from his translation of Dante's Inferno? _

_I hope you guys will like the chapter :) Because I have no idea what to think! It wore me out, emotionally and also physically! Hopefully it won't be a disappointment :) Let me know your thoughts._

_Song used **The Moon **by **The Swell Season.**_

_Play No More With The Fool_

**Paul POV**

The rain was pounding against the window and I was surprised Rachel hadn't woken up yet. In the dark I could see her bare back as she lay on her stomach. The sheets were bunched up around her waist and her skin reflected the faint moonlight that shone through the window. We hadn't shut the curtains and I was tempted to do so but I thought again and wondered why I should bother in the first place. It seems I had a thing for worrying about trivial things. This just proved it. I let out a sharp breath and rested my elbows on my knees. I listened to Rachel's soft breaths and realized I felt absolutely nothing. Or at least, not the way I used to feel. Maybe something was wrong with me?

Although that was easy to establish I did realize that this couldn't go on like this. I turned around, facing Rachel and quickly eyed the clock before deciding to wake her. It was just past 6 AM. I was surprised to see her at two in the morning when she knocked at my door. I let her in of course. She was a close friend, a dear friend. If she asked for a finger I'd give her my hand. And of course I ended up giving her my whole arm. I put my hand on her back and was surprised to feel it much colder than thought. I pulled the sheets over her shoulders, deciding it wasn't worth waking her up now. I got up and moved to the bathroom. I needed a shower.

Once I was done I moved back to my bedroom and saw that Rachel was up again. She was holding the sheets against her chest and for some reason a wave of nostalgia washed over me. Julie did that too, only with her it seemed different than with Rachel. Less annoying and more endearing. I gave Rachel a smile and I could see that she saw right through it. She was not stupid. Quite the opposite actually. I sat down on the edge of the bed again, only clothed in my boxers, my elbows resting on my knees.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Rachel demanded. Her voice was somewhat scratchy by sleep and I shrugged.

"You needed the sleep." I informed her and she sighed from behind me. Her soft hand reached out to me and she rested it on my shoulder. I couldn't believe I was actually doing this.

"We shouldn't do this anymore." I told her and I got on my feet, moving to my closet.

"What do you mean?" Confusion laced her tone. I pulled on some cut off shorts and grabbed a plain tee. I shrugged.

"I don't see it work." I told her plainly. Behind me I could hear Rachel get out of the bed and as I turned around I saw her put on some clothes. It was strange that after so long I was saying this now.

"Why now?" She asked, her voice coated with surprise. "You never had a problem with this before. I mean, we both know that there are no feelings involved." I knew she was lying here. Maybe from my side there were no feelings but something was there from her side. I knew that she had attached herself to me anyways. Even though she knew about the fact I only could bond to one person, Julie. And we weren't really in the position to rekindle that bond, and let's face. Nor did I want to right now.

"Is this about Julie?" Rachel demanded coolly. "I mean, she's back now! Not sure whether it's for good. But she's back. Is that why you don't want to do this" She motioned with her hands between the two of us. "anymore?"

I shrugged.

"Paul, don't do that! Just say it, damn it!" Rachel yelled and she dropped the sheets to the ground. "I'm not a child." That I knew.

"Well what do you want me to say Rachel?" I retorted. "That I don't want to be with you because of Julie? Is that what you want to hear?" I gave her a hard stare. "You know I can't bond with anyone. Not even you!" Rachel looked taken back and I eyed the hurt look in her face while a flash of guilt went through me. But it was nothing more but the truth.

"Couldn't you have thought about this before?" Rachel asked slowly. By the sound of her voice it was obvious she was trying to hold back tears. "I mean, obviously I was nothing more but a booty call."

I frowned and ran my hand down my face in exasperation. Why was it that girls always knew to say the wrong things. Like some fucking trademark it was. "Rachel no, you know that's not true. You're a close friend. And I know that what I've done isn't right but you never protested. Despite the fact you knew!" Rachel sat down on the edge of the bed and I sighed moving towards her. I crouched down in front of her and put my hands on her now jean clad knees.

"I'm sorry." I apologized and Rachel gave me a watery smile.

"I know. But I know you." Rachel began. "This isn't going to end between us. Every time you think about her. Every time you feel somewhat nostalgic you'll come back." Rachel said steadily. "It's what you always do." A tear fell from her eyes and to my surprise I knew she was right.

A flash of irritation went through me. "Not this time." I gritted out.

"It's always like that." She put her hand on my cheek. Her thumb rubbed the skin beneath my eyes. "It's always like that." She repeated. And I swallowed away the lump that formed in my throat.

"I'm going for a run." I said stonily and I got on my feet.

_**XXXXXXXX**_

There are certain things that can push a person into holding a grudge. I personally never had problems holding grudges but I never encouraged them either. I suppose that I balanced myself out in that aspect. But it certainly didn't hold me back when it came to that one person that had pushed me into a situation I never even wanted to be part of. It wasn't planned that way, nor had I ever thought of her that way. I had expected and thought better of her. And now I knew that it was all some kind of sick mind twist. She had been able to brain wash me. Why the Gods had chosen her as my imprint was a question that still roamed in my mind. She wasn't cut out for the job. Take Rachel for example. I think I'd be happier with her than I was with Julie.

A wave of anger went through me. I preferred to not call her by her name. She was just an imprint that hadn't worked out the way I wanted it to work out. I was the fool making love to a fool. And in the end it was me who got held by some kind of fucking leash. And it was me who had held his hands above his head to avoid any kind of blow. Despite my physical protection the blows still came and struck me harder than before. It was as if everyone and everything was dying to prove that I was merely some failure who couldn't do anything properly. And at some point it felt like I truly deserved what I got. Like bad karma. Everything what was coming back to me was exactly everything I deserved.

And there was absolutely nothing I could possibly do to fix that.

There were days in which I would go back and reminisce the times that everything was okay. Two years after Julie left things were okay. We made it work. Despite the distance, we made it work. And I had started college myself. At Dartmouth and things were for some reason easy to maintain. Maybe because both of us were so busy and the only thing we had to look out for were our four hour long phone calls. Unfortunately, peace and quiet won't last forever. And partly, because of my impulsive desire to see her I walked in on her and Bryce.

Things were blurry after that. Words were said. Things were broken. Hearts were broken and anger was vocalized. The latter, the only thing that made everything real to me. If there was no anger then maybe it wasn't real and I found myself wanting that it was all just some dream.

But things don't work that way.

There are no dreams. Just plain old shitty reality. And I was right smack in the middle of it all.

And then I met Rachel. Jacob's sister. The one that bothered to reach out to me. She made an effort to ease the pain and unlike Julie she barely inflicted conflicts or instigated problems. She was the exact opposite and I found myself drawn to Rachel. But even good sex and good friendship couldn't get rid of the drawling ache that had taken hold of every fibre in my being. It was a permanent soreness. One you couldn't get rid of. Only time could ease somewhat of it but then it would come back again and hit you twice as hard as before. It was as if you took one step forwards before taking three steps back. The chance of getting ahead was close to nothing and at some point I even stopped trying.

My mother had asked why I hadn't at least bothered talking to her, but if I was honest. There was a part of me, a small part, that was relieved that Julie had done this. Yes, something must've pushed her towards that action, can't give her all the credit, but she proved to me that she needed some normalcy. And I wasn't able to give that to her. Needing normalcy never used to be an issue after I broke up with her in our senior year, I never got the idea that she didn't feel comfortable with me being a wolf. She adjusted fairly easily. But then again, I never truly asked her blatantly if she wouldn't want someone who wasn't a six foot four freak. I thought, why ask, she never doubted that part of me before, why now?

But then I found out her answer and realized that maybe it was for the best. Unfortunately, it was at my expense.

There was nothing that could sway me. I was dead sure that us being apart was the result of trying to put two pieces together that didn't fit. But slowly, I started to see things that made me realize that imprinting truly sucks. Now I understand Jacob's hatred and I can say that I've taken over that feeling. I fucking hate imprinting. If I hadn't imprinted I wouldn't be stuck with this feeling of obligation towards a woman who didn't even deserve it. One who didn't even want that kind of loyalty. And I drew the short straw in the end.

But then I saw her at her father's funeral. Julie never looked worse and when I first caught her eye it was the emptiness that drew me in. The hollowness. There was nothing in her eyes that showed me anything close to satisfaction. Her empty eyes were filled with blank stares and raw pain. And I experienced that when she broke down the second she saw Rachel with me. It was as if she was putting two and two together and ended up with twenty three. I couldn't even explain myself to her because the shock of her pain had me stunned. So I did the only thing I could do, the one thing I always did. Tighten the noose that was around her neck, leaving her open for her own mind that drew conclusions and slowly she'd suffocate and I'd be there watching. After all, it was me who put the noose there.

And I watched everything unfold.

I didn't say no to her assumptions, because I thought that sooner or later she'd find out anyways. She didn't have to hear it from me because I couldn't quite say that Rachel wasn't my best friend with benefits. That would be a lie. And I was done lying to her. But that didn't mean I would withhold the truth. Technically that was the same thing.

I was waiting for her to leave. I knew she wouldn't stay here, she had nothing here anymore. But then I heard that she had left everything behind in New York. So now she truly had nothing left. My clock stopped ticking once I found out that she was here to stay. It made me rethink my actions and I realized that if there was one thing still present, it would be anger.

After all, I was nothing without anger.

And of course that was the main reason why my pathetic imprint bond was nothing more but a fluke.

I rubbed the back of my neck as I entered my house. Rachel was standing in the kitchen, unpacking the groceries. I never asked her to do anything, sometimes it even felt as if she had moved in with me. And I knew she wanted it. She also knew I would never ask her. This may seem as if she means absolutely nothing to me but that wasn't true. I loved Rachel, as much as I am capable of. Despite the fact I'm broken, I'm still capable of loving, but only to a certain level. And that level didn't pass the friendship limit. She was a friend, a dear and great friend. Every guy on the freaking planet would love to be with her.

But she wasn't cut out for me.

I had accepted the fact I was going to grow old all alone and die shrivelled up like some prune without my fellow prune next to me. I had come to terms with that. I just wondered why Rachel liked pain so much. She kept coming back. And I couldn't do anything to stop her.

"Hey." She said softly as she noticed me and I gave her a smile. Her eyes lighted up and she put the sugar in one of the cabinets, momentarily turning her back on me. I was always intrigued by her, somewhat, clumsy way of carrying herself. It was completely different than from Julie's gracefulness. Julie oozed femininity while Rachel had rigid movements. Both of their bodies were different too. Rachel, was slim, quite skinny with not so many curves. But that didn't take away any of the attractiveness. Rachel was and would always be beautiful.

But Julie was different. She was feminine, she had lovely curves, her skin was practically begging to be touched and I always happily obliged. She was shorter than Rachel. But it was so easy to hold on to her. Despite the fact both of us were hanging off a thread. At least there was one comfort, if I was going down, I was taking her with me.

"I saw Julie today." Rachel suddenly broke through my thoughts and my eyes snapped to her. I blinked a few times, slowly processing what she just said. My throat felt dry. "She wasn't really friendly." Rachel pressed and I let out a small laugh. I doubt she'd be nice to Rachel. "She just blatantly ignored me." I looked at Rachel and saw that she had crossed her skinny arms in front of her chest. In her eyes I could see the obvious irritation she had.

I guess it was true. You either love Julie, or you hate her.

"Don't take it personal, Rach." I tried comforting her but Rachel rolled her eyes.

"I don't think she's over you." Rachel said bluntly and I halted my movements. I leant against the kitchen counted with my hands on either side of me. Rachel dropped her eyes before meeting mine again. "She looks like hell and when she left she had this accident." That peaked my attention immediately. I guess it wasn't hidden that perfectly as I thought. Because Rachel gave me a tight smile before continuing. "She fell nothing serious though. Minor concussion perhaps but Jake brought her home."

I was waiting for the flash of fury and jealousy but I suppose I was so used to that feeling now that I wasn't able to distinguish it now. "Why are you telling me this?" I asked Rachel and she shrugged.

"Because I thought you'd might want to know." Rachel responded and I realized that she truly just wanted me to know. It was as if there was no competition between the two of them at all. At least, not from Rachel's side.

"Right, well I don't care Rachel. So you mind not mentioning her to me again?" I didn't wait for a response and moved to the laundry room. I picked out a clean shirt and shrugged it on. On my overly heated skin it felt like a restriction but I wanted to keep these things. It made me feel less like a mutant freak.

The front door opened and it carried Jacob Black's voice. I guess he was back now. Jacob Black was the only one who understood what I felt when the wounds were still fresh, now there were only scars and scabs, one reopening every few months. But at least the pain was lessening over time. Or that was what I'd like to think. After all, wishful thinking is what keeps this world alive and I'm merely contributing my share of it.

I could hear Rachel and Jacob's chatter. Both of them talked easily and their sibling love was admirable. Wasn't the same like I had with Sara. Partly because Sara was a ten year old whereas Rachel was twenty-seven. She was three years older than me. I guess maturity makes conversation and bonding easier. Then again, my little sister meant the world to me. And there was nothing I wouldn't do for her.

I walked back into the kitchen and gave Jacob an acknowledging nod. We used to get along. But then Rachel got involved with me. I was incredibly happy that Jake had his own pack because I knew he'd murder me the second he'd realize what kind of relationship I had with his sister. I knew he suspected, but I rather have him doubt me than truly know the details. She was his sister for fuck's sake. He didn't have to know I fucked her occasionally.

"Julie is coming to the bonfire." I stiffened.

"What?"

Jacob shrugged. "I invited her. I thought it'd be fun to include her again. After all, Paul. She still is your imprint." I turned my eyes to Rachel who barely showed any sign of caring. Rachel was so easy with the whole pack business that no one truly had an issues with discussing certain things in front of her. It was almost as if she didn't hear it at all.

"Exactly. She is _my_ imprint." I hissed. "It's up to me if I want her there. What the fuck where you thinking inviting her?"

"Geez Paul, relax." Jacob backtracked. "It's just Julie. Besides, from what I know, she won't cause you that much trouble."

"Doesn't mean you had to invite her." I gritted out. I realized I was being like a little kid. Sulky, because things weren't going the way I wanted it to go.

"Look, you gonna bitch all day long or actually man up?" Jacob asked casually as he leant against the counter. "All of us know you want her back anyways. You're just too proud to admit it."

I glared at Jacob and tried to ignore the stiff movements Rachel was making from next to me. "You think you got it all figured out, don't you?" I hissed lowly. "Do me a favour _Jake. _Don't tell me what to do. Just because Bella left you doesn't mean you're an expert on relationships." Jacob lunged but I grabbed his hands and pushed him against the nearest wall. Rachel yelped out loud.

"Don't you ever say something about Bella again." Jacob gasped angrily.

"Then don't use Julie as an excuse to rile me up." I warned and I let Jacob go. Despite Jacob's height advantage and his obvious strength, I knew that he had held himself back. And for some reason that annoyed me even more. I could feel Rachel hover close by.

"I'd never do that." Jacob muttered. "Thought you knew me better than that." I glanced at him.

"Yeah, seems both of us made that same mistake." I spat.

It's funny how easy I ruined friendships these days.

_**XXXXXXXXXX**_

Once arrived at the bonfire I was surprised how everything was divided. It was obvious there was a Team Julie and Team Paul now. Some tried to be neutral, but obviously tend to be swayed to one side. At least I didn't have to worry about Rachel or Jared. Jared stayed at my side loyally, whereas his girlfriend tried to remain Switzerland. Well, Kim Sudol is a lot of things, but Switzerland, well that was just plain ridiculous. That girl has her opinions and she is not afraid to show them. I guess that's what made her tolerable. Her honesty. That and the fact she wasn't too bad to look at. Of course, Jared was absolutely smitten and despite what others said, he wasn't that whipped as others thought. He was just more open about his relationship than others on a different level.

Seth and Summer were both obviously Team Julie and they were not afraid to show it. To me, Seth was still the young pup that we made fun off. His good nature and smiles nauseated us all but somewhere deep down we knew that it was typically Seth. And we appreciated him for being who he was. And then six years later, he lashed out to me physically and my whole vision shifted. And now, all I want to do is a shove a stick down his throat, if that wouldn't shut him up than I didn't know what. Summer, wasn't someone I even wanted to discuss. We all know how she is and _understanding _isn't an emotion she'd recognize. Guess her being a doctor would be brilliant. No need for emotions in that field.

I saw her. It was hard not to. She was standing with Emily, talking and I knew she saw me too. She wasn't trying to hide the fact she was flat out staring at me. And I didn't bother to disguise my anger. I tried to ignore the fact that I felt the familiar stirring in the pit of my stomach. The way my stomach clenched seeing her. God, she hadn't changed one bit. She still pulled on her earlobe when she was nervous. She still tugged on her sleeves if she didn't know what to do. And she still darted her eyes everywhere frantically if she tried avoid something specifically.

There was only one thing that had changed. And that was that she wasn't happy anymore.

I felt a flinch of regret but then it was smoothed out with satisfaction. After all, now she can feel the same thing I felt. What goes around comes around and now it was her turn. But I couldn't help but keep tabs on the amount of drinks she was consuming. Even though, I had lost that role years ago.

And then Jake brought her here.

Her inquisitive tone with the underlying coat of disdain didn't fool me, nor did it fool anyone for that matter. They were just too polite to say anything about it. "Rachel, how are you?"

"Good." Rachel responded tersely. "How's the head? Heard you took quite a fall!" Rachel had to point that out, didn't she? I could feel her slender hands wrap themselves around my clenched fist, trying to unfold it. I didn't let her and for some reason I felt like I had to create some distance between the two of us.

"I did." Julie responded and I could see she was somewhat surprised by the venom in Rachel's voice. Like she hadn't seen it coming.

"Glad to see there was nothing s_erious._" Rachel replied stiffly and she crossed her arms, finally letting go of my fist.

"What happened?" Embry asked and I had almost forgotten he was there. He was, like almost everyone else, Switzerland.

"I just fell. Hit my head." Julie quickly said and I saw her drop her eyes to the ground. Her hand was holding on to the bottle of beer, and I could see it was already empty. Quil laughed out loud and was silenced by Julie's frown. He quickly excused himself. Pussy.

"So Rachel." Jacob tried to tie some kind of conversation. "How's the hospital?"

Rachel gave him an uncomprehending look. "I'm sure it's alright. I wouldn't know. I'm only an EMT! I don't quite know the ins and outs of the hospital. You should ask Summer. She's the resident." Rachel pointed out stiffly and he nodded quickly.

"Where did you go to college Rachel?" Julie suddenly intervened and I took a swig of my own drink before distinctively eying something else. Sam was standing with his now pregnant wife on the beach. Their hands linked, Sam positively radiating happiness. I guess his life was fucking peachy right now. Unlike mine.

"Brown."

"Oh that's great. Tell me though, How does one go from La Push to an Ivy League? What did you do?" I scrunched my eyes shut, pinching the bridge of my nose. I knew that this was an incredible bitchy thing to do. And Julie isn't like that. But right now her brains weren't linked to her tongue, so she was blabbing things like no tomorrow.

"Julie!" Jacob hissed. Incredulous.

"No, really. I'm interested." Julie feigned innocence and a flash of anger went through me and I put my hand on the small of Rachel's back. I eyed Julie as I saw her move to the table for some drinks.

"I'll be right back. Don't listen to anything she says, okay?" I told Rachel and she nodded quickly. I could see that she was upset by Julie's words and my anger grew. I quickly pecked her on her head and moved to the table.

As I saw Julie reach for a bottle of beer I quickened my strides and snatched it out of her hands. I could see she was surprised but she quickly recovered. "I was going to drink that." She said indifferently and I glared at her.

"Why did you say that to Rach?" I asked her bluntly and I could see her eyes flash with something but it was gone as quickly as I had spotted it.

"I was genuinely interest. Sorry." Her mocking was driving me nuts. If there was something Julie excelled in, besides her art, it was the art of sarcasm. She'd be the fucking queen or something.

"Don't you pull that shit on me Julie. It won't work! Now, go back to her and apologize." I ordered her and she let out an incredulous laugh. I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Funny Paul." She said tersely. I wondered why she was able to say my name like that. Like it was some kind of disease. "For a second I thought you were being serious." I stared at her. What in fuck's name had happened to the Julie I knew? "I'm not apologizing to that slag." She nudged her head in Rachel's direction and I snapped as she tried to move away.

"Julie, this isn't over!" I told her stiffly. My voice was like ice. I grabbed hold of her wrist and that was when she lost all control.

"Don't touch me!" She screamed and I almost let go. But then I pulled her close to me. Our chests almost touching. It felt so damn good to have her like this even though she was poisonous. This wasn't right, but it felt right if that even made some fucking sense.

"Why shouldn't I touch you?" I asked softly. She was so close that I was able to take in her scent. Her soft, feminine, sweet scent. But I got distracted my the moisture that filled up her eyes.

"Let go of me!" She commanded. "Just leave me the fuck alone!" She raised her arm and hit me on the chest. It may not hurt but it shocked me and I let go.

The pack was starting to react now and they called out Julie's name as she stumbled away from me, into the forest. Despite my better knowledge that she didn't want me around I couldn't help it. I was being drawn against my will, she as a siren. I rubbed the back of my neck with distress. God, this hurt. If I knew love inflicted more pain than joy I wouldn't have been a part of it. Not ever! I followed Julie beneath the comfort of the trees and as we created some distance between us and the rest of the party I grabbed her shoulders as she leant against a tree.

She spun on her heel. Her cheeks dirty with tears. "Paul, just go! I get it, okay? I get it! Leave me alone." She said. Her voice was cracking and she was losing control. It was strange for me to see her like this. I was a bitter bastard. But I wasn't heartless, even though it was shattered.

"Just because it is more convenient for you, doesn't mean I should listen to it Julie." I spat. "This isn't over yet."

"Well what do you want me to say? Huh? What is there left to be said anyways?" She asked. She raised her hands and wiped away a few tears. I knew she had an infinite source of supply though and they just kept on coming.

"I get it, okay? You're with Rachel, I see that! I know that! But I'm not going to apologize just because she's with you!" She told me forcefully. I let out an exasperated sigh. My emotions were being juggled, used, seen, fuck there was absolutely nothing that withheld me from using my tongue. It seemed that in this case I had the same problem Julie did with Rachel. My brain wasn't linked to my tongue either.

"I'm not going to force you to apologize to her! I just expected better from you." This was partly true. I wasn't going deny that.

"Then what are you here for?" She cried out loudly. "You don't have a say over me anymore. I'm nothing to you." Keep reminding me that Julie.

"And whose fault was that?" I responded back stonily.

"You want to talk about it now?" She asked shocked. I blinked a few times. It seemed we had moved into the forest more deeper than I had thought and I cursed myself for my stupidity. How come every super wolf sense I had was thrown out of the goddamn window when Julie was near? What good was I then? I felt the confusion evoke a migraine.

"Now? When both of us know what happened anyways." She pointed out.

"Enlighten me, Jules. Please!" I used her nickname. The one she hated right now and I could see her stiffen. It came me a sick sense of pleasure to see her shy away from me like this. Guess I couldn't prove myself wrong.

"Stop it." She yelled. The panic on her face worsening. She turned her back on me and moved away.

"Don't walk away from me!" I yelled. More afraid with what could happen. The woods have not been safe with those attacks. And she was not going to test my patience right now. "If it's so hard to hear the fucking truth you shouldn't be here in the first place! This is all your fault anyways."

"Don't you think I know that?" She screamed back to me. I could see her stumble one of the tree roots and I had to bite my tongue not to reach out to her. "Don't you think I feel like a complete idiot every single day? Don't you think I regret it every time I see you with _her_?" She continued and the words now registered in my mind. She felt remorse. The one feeling I was waiting for her to feel.

"What about me?" I demanded. "You're the one that cheated on me. You're the one that fucked it up in the beginning!" I accused. She flinched and put her hands against her temples.

"You never gave me time to explain." She retorted back, her voice wavering.

"What was there to explain? You screwed someone else!" I pointed out. Visions of them together filled up my mind. It fuelled my anger with so much energy I could feel my hands shake. It was a miracle I hadn't felt the urge to phase yet. Hey, it was a miracle I hadn't phased already.

"No I didn't! If you even listened to me you would've known. I said no! I told Bryce I loved you, but you didn't even care. You just left!" She threw back at me and both of us came to a stop in the woods. It was utterly black here. Why was she still running away in the wrong direction? And she had use his name.

""You didn't try hard enough! And since when is it Bryce?" My anger grew and I saw her flinch again. Using his name made things real again. She kept smacking reality into my face like some kind of pattern. When was it going to sink in?

"That's not important. I tried Paul, but you were so wrapped up in yourself you couldn't listen to me! You just yelled at me and took the next flight home!" She told me and I averted my view. I focused on the ground. My emotions were all over the floor. I wasn't sure what I was feeling, and I wasn't sure what I was showing.

"You could've followed me!" I told her. That was all I wanted her to do. But she never came. "How do you think I felt when I saw you with that son of a bitch? Do you think listening to you would be the first thing on my mind? God, how fucking stupid can you possibly be Julie?" And now she was the punching bag.

"Well, tell me then! Apparently the message isn't clear yet!"

I could see her bend over, holding her stomach before she finally leant against the floor. Too scared to respond, fearing that she was now in physical pain I wanted to end this conversation, or better said, this fight between the two of us but that was easier said than done. Especially with Julie her.

"So I guess the imprint is broken then?" She whispered softly. Her voice held nothing but defeat. I closed my eyes.

"Unfortunately, it's not broken." I told her. "But I wish it was, because I'm fucking done with my obligation towards you. The fact that there is nothing I could possibly owe you should've been enough but somehow I can't even seem to get rid of this fucking imprint!" The truth hurts and I could see that on her face.

"Rachel not doing the trick?" She asked and I hissed out.

"Rachel and I aren't together." Even in my ears that sounded lame. "She's my friend." I told her. "She was there when you weren't." God, lay it on real thick, why don't you?

"So what are you saying?" She asked.

"Nothing, Julie!" I brought out exasperatedly. "I'm not saying anything!"

"I pushed him away." Julie suddenly said. "I told him no. I loved you, not him! You, it has always been you."

"It's too late for that Jules." I said honestly. Why was she telling me this now. Why now?

"Don't call me that!" She sobbed out. "God, don't call me that." She was on her knees now. I could see the tears fall and I just stood there. Waiting for her to get it back together. I couldn't see her like this. So incredibly unlike her. But this time, this time I was putting my own heart in front of hers. Because there is no way I was going to let her play with mine again.

I'm sorry, but this was just the way things were going to be.

And yet it still hurt so fucking much seeing her broken like this. It was as if everything was on the floor, and she needed someone to mend her. And it used to be me. But now it wasn't like that anymore. Despite her remorse I couldn't come to terms with her. Not like this. Not now.

"We should get back." I announced. And I grabbed her arm, hauling her back on her feet.

"I'm not going." She responded back. Her tears had reduced and her sobs were now mere sniffles. Her voice was hoarse though.

"Julie, don't be a fucking idiot. Come on." I said angrily. She was being such a petulant child right now. She wrenched off my grip. "So you're going to stay here then?"

"Just leave me alone." She protested. And she tried to move away.

"Julie." I grabbed hold of her arms again. "Look, I don't care what the fuck your problem is. Frankly, I could care less but I am not leaving you here. You've heard about the attacks. Do you have some kind of death wish?"

"Maybe if I got attacked, you would get rid of your obligation towards me." She said blandly. "After all, death should to the trick right? Break the imprint and all." It took all my self-restraint to do nothing more but shake her. God, she wasn't saying she truly was suicidal.

""It was a rhetorical question Julie. One that wasn't meant to be answered." I said coolly. "Now move!"

"Paul, I'm saying this one last time. Just leave me the fuck alone!" She said and she pulled away from me again. "I'll get back on my own, but I don't want to be near you." So that was the way it was going to be then ?

I stepped away from her as if I was burned. And that was the truth, in some way or another. She kept burning me. "Well, you know your way back then." I told her and I was surprised that I actually walked away.

I just left my imprint, all alone in a dark forest with potential death threats. But I was too fucked up to do anything about it. I tried. Shit, I tried.

_Then why is she still there? _– an annoying voice in my head responded and my heartbeat quickened. But I just kept on walking. My feet brought me back in a few minutes and as I approached the bonfire again I could see several shocks expressions. Words were said and people were yelling. But I was only focused with one thing. And that was trying to get a hold of myself. I've never ever felt this detached before. I just felt so incredibly lost.

A hand grabbed my shoulder and I spun on my heel only to say hi to the sand. The sharp, hot pain in my jaw confirmed my thoughts. I just got punched. And I deserved it. I sat up straight and eyed Seth with surprise, and somewhat admiration. He never raised his hands on his fellow pack members, even though we were in different packs, the idea was still the same. But his chest heaved with anger and his lips were moving but nothing registered in my mind. Rachel was standing beside me as she and Jared hauled me up on my feet again.

"What have you done to her?" Seth yelled. Summer was standing behind him, not even bothering to hold him back. In fact, no one was holding him back.

"Paul!" Sam's voice boomed. "Where is Julie?"

"In the forest." I told him and I could see the disappointment in his eyes. God, was there some contest or something? Who could make me feel worse about myself?

"And you _left_ her all alone?" Jacob piped up and I let out an exasperated sigh as I massaged my jaw.

"She didn't come. I asked her. Hell I demanded her to come but she wouldn't listen." I defended poorly.

"Don't tell me you didn't have any other way?" Seth threw in my face. "You could've dragged her with you if you had to. But instead you left her! Do you even know what can happen?"

"Calm down!" I shouted. "Nothing will happen." I tried to quench that feeling in my gut. "She's not that far away! She'll be fine. She'll be here any minute now. Go look for her if you have to, you'll see for yourself."

"You better be right Paul." Jake gritted out. "For your sake. Hope you can live with that guilt." It was as if he was insinuating that something was going to go wrong.

And then it happened.

Her eyes, wide and panicked as she stumbled back from the forest. Her clothes, dripping in some kind of liquid. It took me a while to figure out it was blood. But shit, her eyes. I wouldn't ever forget those. They were filled with horror and it mirrored my own. All that blood. She shouldn't be standing now if all that blood was hers. How could she be even moving? The stench was awful, it burned my nostrils and normally it only happened with vampires but this was even worse. Cause Julie was covered in blood and I could only stand and do absolutely nothing.

_A/N: How was it? Not too bad I hope? Let me know your thoughts in a review :) *hug* Now I'm gonna get some sleep :D Aah, my soft pillow!_


	6. We Were Never Meant To Be This

_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine!_

_A/N: Hihi, so uhhh yeah! I know! Another big delay! But honestly, this time I have a valid excuse. Effin' writersblock. I had no idea how to approach this chapter! So naturally, I hate this chapter! It's also not as huge as the previous chapter but I can say that I've included Paul's voice again! Loads of people said that they were Team Julie now [I have TEAMS now btw! How bloody awesome can that be?] But for some reason I didn't completely agree with it! I hope that this chapter can convert more people into Paul Team! Because if I'm honest, and I know I'm biased and all, but a part of me is a very BIG Team Paul! So yeah, that's that! Furthermore I'd like to give ALL of you the BIGGEST hug possible! I had over 50! REVIEWS for last chapter! Now if that doesn't BLOW your mind, I'm not sure what does. So I gotta be honest, you guys have spoiled me! I hope you'll be able to accept this chapter just as graciously as the former :D So lemme know, kay :D_

_Song used **Gone Away** by **Lucy Schwartz**_

_W__e Were Never Meant To Be This Damn Broken_

Everything hurt. Everything ached. I kept falling down and my knees and hands were stained. I wasn't quite sure where I exactly was, and honestly, I didn't even care. I just wanted to get out, find people. Be _clean_. Get rid of all the blood on me. I couldn't stand the smell. What if I attracted other kinds of people with all this blood over me. I could feel my throat tighten with fear and I stumbled again. The damp earth contacted my knees and I took a few deep breaths. I closed my eyes and to my surprise I could hear the waves. Water. Which meant I was close to the beach. I let out a sob of relieve and got to my feet again. Still stumbling as I moved in that direction. Slowly the trees thinned out and before I knew it I could see the bonfire. People were standing in a circle and I could see Paul's tall frame as he stood in the middle of something. Suddenly their attention fell on me and our eyes met.

I stopped moving.

"Julie?" Seth's voice reached out to me as one of the first. I stumbled backwards and fell to the ground. I could taste the salt of my tears now and I whimpered as I felt people touch me. "What happened?"

"Fuck! Look at all that blood!"

"Call an ambulance."

"We need to get her out of here!"

"How can she be still alive?" That threw me out of my stupor and I mumbled something incoherently when suddenly I heard Summer's voice, clear as a beacon over everyone else. The pack moved away and made space for her.

"What are you doing?" Seth demanded as I felt Summer tug on my clothes. Before I knew it she had lifted my arms and the wet fabric of my shirt fell to the ground with a loud _plop_.

"It's not hers." Summer said shrilly.

"What?"

"It's not her blood!" Summer repeated. Flashes of green were in front of my face as Summer's eyes pierced through mine, demanding attention as I tried to pull myself away from everyone as far as my mind would possibly let me. I felt their hot hands on my skin and I realized that I was only wearing a tank top.

"But whose is it?"

"I don't know! We need to get her out of here. She's in shock."

"But Summer! If it's not her blood then someone else is out there!"

"We need to get there."

"I'll call Chief Swan."

"Could it be another attack?"

"But why keep Julie alive?" Slowly the voices were fading away. As if someone was pulling me away from them as slowly as possible. Like something that is there the next minute and gone the other. That's how things were going on right now. Things were swirling and slowing down. My mind was sluggish and so were my body's responses. So now I truly was detached. It felt like minutes were passing instead of seconds and I could find myself looking at Summer for one second before the dark sky was staring down at me. Bright, white dots were melting into one big blur when all of it descended down on me. I didn't feel much afterwards.

Ever been stuck in a closet?

Well I have, and that was exactly how I felt right now. Like you're stuck and can't move because there is no room. Or because you simply don't know which way to turn. That often caused trouble too. But the worst of all had to be the darkness. It was black, you couldn't see anything. Nothing at all. Not if you'd wave your hand in front of your eyes. Nothing would be clear, only a vague inclination of something should've been there.

And that is how I felt right now.

Like I was this vague person you should be seeing but no one could because of they were more focused on the thing that was on me. In this case, it was all the blood. And it was understandable they paid so much attention to it. After all, that person whose blood it was could still be alive. Then again, I knew better. And he wasn't alive. Or she. There was nothing but blood. And I never thought a person could bleed so much. I mean, I know that we, as human beings, consist of approximately three-and-a-half liters of blood but seeing it in real life changes everything. After all, it was merely a number.

A sharp pinch on my shoulder shook me out of my stupor and I blinked a few times when suddenly I was thrown back into reality.

"You with us?" Jacob's face hovered above mine. I let out a shaky breath and I felt my eyes blur with tears. Slowly they leaked out of the corner of my eyes. "You're alright Julie! Don't worry."

"H-how can I be alright?" I breathed out.

"I know Julie! But you work with me, alright?" Jacob pulled me in a sitting position and I could see Seth with Summer as they talked, their eyes firmly set on me.

"What?" I looked around and saw to my surprise that everyone was scattered. Half of the pack was with Sam, some already moving to the woods when suddenly Jacob pulled my attention to him again.

"Don't worry about that." He said firmly. "We're going to see if we can find the person who-" He cut himself off and took a harsh breath. "Did you hear anything when you found the body? See anything unusual?" I shrugged slowly.

"I don't know!" I rasped. "I fell over and then suddenly there was so much blood and it was all over me." I started to breathe harshly again and my tears spilled. "I just don't get how something like this can happen!" My voice was high and desperate. "Who would do such a thing?" Jacob put his hand on my shoulders, squeezing tightly before letting go.

"We don't know for sure. But trust me, we're gonna figure it out." He assured and I shrugged. I just wanted to get rid of that horrible painting stuck behind the lids of my eyes. I just wanted that image to disappear and never show its face again. But it was imprinted in my mind and I knew for a fact that it was going to stay there for the time being, if not permanently.

"Seth is gonna stay with you. Don't worry." I didn't look at Jacob, I didn't look at anyone as they marched into the woods. I just kept my eyes on the rough texture of the sand, mingling with my skin and the dry blood that was tattooed there.

**Paul POV**

Our feet were moving in a steady pace. Most of us still in our human form as some had phased into our _nature_ form. I ignored the stabs of guilt. They were pooling in my stomach and the sharp edge was cutting into my stomach, its wound already burning with shame. I fervently tried to not mention the looks some of the pack members were giving me. In particular Jacob. I could feel the anger in his every move but it was partly overruled in my book. I couldn't care less about what he thought. Jacob and I were both too dominant to really get along and all of it became one shitty mess every since Rachel turned to me. And ever since I turned my back on Julie.

Julie.

Oh fuck, Julie! I could feel my fist clenching again and I forced myself to follow Sam again. We were following the trail of blood of Julie's clothes and the further we got into the forest, the prominent the smell of blood became. Its copper smell was another kind of burn. It wasn't like the vampires. It was even worse. Knowing that someone is dead is much worse than the fate the vampire would endure once we were done with him. Simply because he didn't deserve such a _peaceful_ death.

I couldn't help but notice the strange pattern of the way we discovered the bodies. We only knew when it was either far too late or we'd stumble across them. Like scattered candy. Ignore the analogy please.

The first body was found by the police after a missing person report was filed. The second body was found by me and now, the third one, was found by Julie. Almost the same way as I had found it. Practically falling on it. I still remember the horror when I found that girl. At the time I didn't know it was a girl but when I did found out after the autopsy I even felt more worse, she was from Forks. Her name was Marissa. And now she was just gone. The idea was incredibly odd. The one person can cease to exist just because another person says so.

"That's it." Quil's voice was unusually serious and Embry appeared from the bushes, clad in only his shorts.

"God, that's a lot of blood." Jacob voiced as he gently skidded down the hill and stood behind the limp form that was supposed to be a human being. I could see the pool of blood being absorbed by the earth and it would only be a matter of time before it was completely gone.

"How the hell did she end up here?" Sam referred to Julie. "I thought you'd left her near the clearing."

"I did." I gritted out. "How would I know how'd she end up here?"

"Because you're the one that left her alone." Jacob said bitterly. "Something I'm still trying to work out. How the fuck can you leave her alone in the woods Paul? You know that the past few days it's been incredibly dangerous with all those attacks and still you left her. What are you? Stupid?" I narrowed my eyes at Jacob.

"Fuck off Black!" I hissed. "You have no fucking idea what happened."

"Actually I do." Jacob continued.

"Jake!" Sam said lowly, trying to interfere.

"Really? Care to enlighten me then?" I snapped as I moved past Sam down the hill. My feet barely slipped as I came to a stop before Jacob. I resented him for his height, for the fact he was so buff. But if there was one thing he couldn't compete with it would be my anger. My short fuse.

"This could've been her, you know." Jacob pointed out. His eyes firmly set on mine. I clenched my jaw. The waves of anger becoming less subtler and more vicious. "What if it happens again?"

"It won't!" I promised. "_Nothing_ will happen to Julie!" I could see the mockery in Jacob's eyes. The fact that he didn't trust any word I said.

"This is all your fault!" He said finally. "Deal with that!"

"Oh I will!" I muttered as I swung my fist in his direction. My fist collided with his jaw and a significant snap pulled us to our attention, a stab of pain went through my hand but I ignored it. Everything happened in a split second afterwards.

I could feel Sam's arms pull me to the side. His hands gripping me so tightly it would've hurt, had I been _only_ human. But my rage was taking over. I could feel inner wolf begin to morph, begging to be released. I could hear Sam demanding me to calm down. His voice loud with all the ruckus going on. But all I could do was snarl at Jacob, my nostrils flaring with anger. His sudden interest towards Julie was something that had been bothering me for a while now. The way he suddenly took her side, while both of them weren't really friends. Yes they knew each other, it was kinda hard not to since we used to hang out together. But the way they talked now. The way he soothed Julie to an extent where she actually reacted. Now that worried me.

A wave of jealously surged through me and I violently pulled myself away from Sam. I glared at the 'rightful' Alpha. "Stay away from Julie." I warned. "She doesn't need you."

"Who are you to tell me to stay away?" Jacob asked. "As a matter of fact, she wants _you_ to stay away."

"She doesn't know what she wants." I muttered lowly, dropping my eyes momentarily.

"Both of you stop it!" Sam interjected. "This not the time to discuss this! I want you two to get a fucking grip! Someone just died! You can deal with your testosterone fight later! Now focus!" The harsh reality once again descended on us and Jacob let out a deep sigh as he crouched down, balancing on his heels. The body was attracting all kinds of insects and it would gone soon enough.

"This must've happened recently." Embry observed slowly. He moved around the body until he was standing next to me. Sam stood on the other side, flanking me somehow. "The wounds are fresh."

"Which means that the monster who did this might be close!" Sam voiced. "We need to set up a schedule for patrol. I want to double it!"

"Great." Quil snorted. I could see Sam give him a pointed look. Quil changed his look and cleared his throat. "Well at least I'm glad that Jared isn't here. The remains of his stomach would be all over the place." Real subtle Quil, referring to Jared's weak stomach. No one responded to it.

"Who's gonna bring Chief Swan?" Sam asked.

"Collin and Brady." Jacob answered. "We need to phase in order to let Brady know. They'll know where to come."

"You do know they'll want to talk to Julie." Embry piped up. "I mean, she was the person to find it!" I didn't respond and turned away. Despite the fact I knew Embry had a point, it didn't mean it made things much easier. I wouldn't want to impose that on anyone. Trying to relive a certain moment, especially something like this.

I crossed my arms and stared at the body from a safe distance. My nerves were already strung tightly. I wiped my hand over my face. This whole night had taken a turn for the worst, and yet it felt much, _much_ worse than that. I was at the end of my wit. My skin prickling with annoyance that any word could resort into me spontaneously combusting. I felt Sam's hand on my shoulder.

"Why don't you go back." He offered gently and I turned around confused. He shrugged. "Just go!"

I nodded slowly and before I knew it my feet had guided me back to the place where it all began.

_**XXXXXXXXX**_

Once I got back to the bonfire. Already coming across Chief Swan and Brady and Collin. I found Jared and Kim standing at the edge of the beach, staring at a particular person near the ocean. Her small stature looking even smaller now. I felt a small hand on my arm and I turned around, only to be confronted with Rachel. She gave me a tight smile before turning back her eyes to the beach.

"She doesn't talk to anyone." Rachel clarified and I realized it was Julie who had separated herself from everyone.

"I'll go." I said and I pulled away from Rachel.

"Don't!" Rachel said alarmed. "Let...let Seth and the others take care of it!" I understood her reluctance but the guilt was eating me up. I had to do something. Otherwise Sam wouldn't have let me go in the first place.

"Rachel, just stay out of it." I said dismissively and I pulled myself free from her before moving to Jared and Kim. When suddenly Seth and Summer came in between.

It was as if the whole world was against me. Again!

"Not now Clearwater!" I said stiffly.

"You stay the fuck away from her!" Seth responded harshly. "I don't care what kind of excuses you're gonna use but stay away! I'm warning you!" I pushed against his hands, he stumbled backwards before catching himself immediately.

"I _said_ not now!" I repeated again and I moved past the two. The sand crunching loudly beneath my feet. I was nearing Jared and Kim now when suddenly I heard Seth again. That kid was a constant pain in the fucking ass. God I swear!

"Why can't you leave well enough alone? Haven't you done enough already?" Seth yelled.

"She doesn't want you near." Summer supplied icily. Her arms were crossed over her chest. Her green eyes piercing into mine. "Especially now you're the reason she has to go through this!"

"I think you're the last person to be judging Paul on that!" Kim suddenly said. She moved past Jared towards me. "I mean, we don't know w_hat_ Julie wants. She doesn't talk to either of you!"

"Like she talks to you, Kim!" Summer reacted venomously.

"At least, I don't make false assumptions." Kim retorted stiffly.

"Kim, what are you talking about?" Seth looked incredulously at Jared's imprint and I could feel his presence behind us, as he watched Seth with a protective glance in his eyes. "You know what he did to Paul!"

"But it takes _two _to ruin a relationship! And Julie isn't exactly innocent! We all know what she did in New York!" Kim retorted. A wave of gratitude washed over me.

As both parties were arguing I slipped past them and continued my journey towards Julie. The closer I got to her, the sharper her features became and soon I was able to see that she was kneeling in the water, her hands moving frantically. Her eyes were solely focused on the task of cleansing her hands. Trying to get rid of that awful crimson stain. Her skin was pale in the faint light that shone and the fright in her eyes were illuminated. I felt another wave of guilt and I tried to quench it. But it was so fucking dominant that I had no other choice but to give in. I moved closer to Julie when suddenly she spoke.

"I can't get it off." She whispered softly. "It won't get off." She raised her hands and I could see that there were still some blood spatters littering her soft skin. But I could also see she was rubbing her skin to a point of destruction and I quickly moved to her. My hands outstretched to pull her out of the freezing water when she snapped. "Don't touch me!" There was a crazy look in her eyes. One that could only be defined as traumatized. She was scared shitless. "Don't _touch_ me." She repeated again and I nodded slowly.

"Okay." I said softly. My voice filled with sorrow. "I won't."

I sat down next to her. Doing nothing but watch her rub her skin red. At some point she wouldn't be able to distinguish her clean, albeit red, skin from the blood. I could hear the rhythm of her heartbeat, it was erratic and reminded me of the time when the two of us were still together. I'd listen to her heartbeat at night, when she was sleeping. I'd hear it in my head when we were apart. I'd remember it when I got nostalgic and missed her presence. But now I didn't want to do anything with it. Yet I yearned for everything that was remotely 'safe' or involved her. Because the two of us were like two missing puzzle pieces. We did everything in tune, no matter how strange it may look. We even fought in tune.

"Julie." I murmured softly. Trying to get her attention. She halted her movements briefly before continuing again. I said her name again and this time she stopped entirely.

"You left me!" She stated. Her voice was soft but firm nonetheless. The pain in her voice was distinctively hard to ignore. "You just left."

"I know and I shouldn't have but-"

"But you did." I let out a harsh sigh and I grabbed her arm. I realized she was freezing cold. Her lips were tinged a light blue. Shocked, I pulled her out of the water, bringing her into my arms. Ignoring her faint protest. Just giving my warmth to her. Holding her softly made the shattered pieces of my heart ache even more, but if it meant I could hold Julie for a while, just being a masochist and all, then I'd do it. I wrapped my arms around her waist. Her black tank top, already drenched. I rested my chin on the top of her head, her soft cherry smell invading my nostrils like a soft summer breeze. Her skin was still soft and the feel over body against mine arose many feelings and emotions that all of them mingled into one big blur of familiar ache.

I never realized how much I still wanted it all.

"This thing we had..." Julie suddenly said. Her voice slightly muffled as her face was buried in the crook of my neck. My body already wanting more as I felt her lips on my skin. "It's over." I could feel my insides freeze. I could hear the noises of the ocean. "It's over." She repeated again and I felt the dampness of her tears and pulled her closer to me.

"Finally." I responded.

_A/N: A bit of a sad ending here, but don't worry. This fic is by NO WAYS over. I have so much in store. But I'll be honest, things will get better! Soon! I know you guys can't handle it and all, I mean, I know I can't! But bear with me for a little while! Anyways, you may have noticed I've deleted a few of my stories, but only because I'm gonna re-write them when I'm done with the others! I just had too many stories up and some of which I knew I wouldn't continue anyways, so to ease the blow, I thought why not delete them and start over later! _

_So, leave me your thoughts in a review! I love to hear about them :) Kay?_


	7. It's Time We Feel Something Real

_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine._

_A/N: So lot of people had asked me about the ending and I think I owe you guys an explanation. What I meant with the last line was that both of them were going to accept the fact that they were over. That they had to move on without each other. And Paul thought that Julie was giving him the excuse to go away. And like you've all read he responded with "Finally!" while hugging her. For him it meant that he was going to do what Julie had told him. Because he thinks it's what she wants. Still with me? In this chapter you'll find out what she truly meant and what **REALLY** happened in **NEW YORK!** So very important chapter and all! Anyways. You guys, you are amazing with all the reviews :) I absolutely love them and I hope you guys can keep giving me the same love this chapter :) Enjoy!_

_Song used **I Want Tears** by** Michelle Branch**_

_It's Time We Feel Something Real_

I had thrown myself through the drain. Flushed myself. I had got rid of myself, for once and for all. And yet it hadn't changed a damned thing in my life. I thought by telling Paul the exact opposite of what I wanted would've changed my outcome on everything. My life, my thoughts, my feelings. Reversed psychology used to work in the old days, you know. But even I couldn't mask my feelings for Paul. I couldn't deny the fact that every cell in my body yearned for the words that could fix every single thing. And that also qualified for the fact I couldn't deny that Paul truly didn't want me anymore. I had officially screwed up every aspect of my life. Now, I was granted the title _failure_. Because that was exactly what I was.

The road to failure contained Paul catching me naked in my bed with someone else. Check!

It contained Paul dumping me, leaving me no choice but to stay in New York for the rest of my life. That plan would've worked had my father's death not called me back to La Push. So I could check those two off my list as well.

It contained losing my Art Gallery. Check.

And last, but certainly not least, it contained me being traumatized by being purposely left in the middle of the woods, causing me to get lost and find, -with my luck of course-, a dead body that's imbedded in every fibre of my fucking brain.

So yeah, you can say that I was walking down hell's path. And nothing could stop me from becoming self-destructive.

All this sarcasm wasn't good for my mood, so I resorted to the one thing I was comfortable with. And that was brooding. Distancing myself from everyone that, unfortunately for them, wanted to be a part of my pathetic life. Becoming merely a shell of what I used to be.

And yet I still couldn't deny the fact that it was a constant thorn in my side. That my chest hurt every single time I breathe. That my mind was on overdrive and the only thing that ran through my head was Paul. That I was dreaming of things that used to be reality, yet wake up harshly and found myself all alone again. I never thought that even dreams could break a person apart. I was starting to wonder how long it would take for me to completely destroy myself, if I knew how, I'd speed the process a bit more. Make it all clean and painless. Maybe add some less dramatics to it.

And there I went again, with the sarcasm I mean.

I was still lying on my bed and I could hear my mother downstairs. We still weren't on speaking terms. Or, not the way we used to be. She was more busy with trying to forget her own pain. And the same went for me. It seemed like despite what had happened the world kept spinning around. No matter how hurt anyone was.

A knock on the door pulled me out of reverie and I ignored it. I assumed it was my mother, maybe she wanted to talk. I closed my eyes and drew my knees to my chest. I was wearing an oversized sweatshirt, the fact I could drown in it comforted me. I didn't want to talk. The nausea it brought churned in my stomach. It spread throughout my limbs and took hold of every single thought in my mind. There was no word that didn't swim in the nausea.

"Jules?" Kim's voice shocked me and before I knew it I could hear her come inside. "You awake?"

"Y-yeah." I croaked and I turned around to see Kim _and_ Summer. Both of them were wearing a solemn expression on their russet faces but I could see the pity in their eyes. It practically screamed that it was there. Kim gave me a small smile and moved to the bed, till she sat down behind me. I moved back into my old position. Still staring at the window.

Kim's hand rested on my shoulder. I fought the urge to shrug it off.

"How are feeling? Your mother said you haven't come out of your room yet." I shrugged, this time the hand fell and a wave of relief went through me. No one was touching me and it gave me a sense of loneliness. Because that's what I deserved. Being alone for the rest of my pathetic life.

"We brought you something to eat." Summer supplied and she moved in my view, putting the plate on my night stand. "I know you're hungry Julie." I didn't move. Summer sighed and sat down in front of me.

"I thought you two weren't talking?" I suddenly murmured, recalling what had happened on the bonfire. Summer looked at me surprised before exchanging a look with Kim.

"Well, when it comes to you we are able to put aside our differences." I snorted.

"Now that's a first." Kim laughed behind me and suddenly a strange bubbly kind of feeling arose in my chest. It escaped its way through my throat and before I knew it I was laughing. Laughing so hard it felt refreshing. Summer looked at me and started laughing too and suddenly the three of us were laughing. About nothing at all.

I felt a wave of nostalgia wash over me. This was how our friendship used to be. The three of us goofing around, doing absolutely nothing but talk about nonsense although, it was very important nonsense, if you catch my drift.

My stomach was aching with the strain and suddenly I let out a large breath, the laughter dying with it. My eyes were pricking and tears spilled. A sob escaped my mouth. "Oh Jules." Kim murmured and she wrapped her arms around me, resting her head on my shoulder.

"It's going to be alright Julie." Summer said softly. I shook my head.

"I really messed up this time." I responded in a tiny voice. "I miss him."

"That's understandable Julie. Especially with your dad passing away just recently. It hasn't even been a month Jules, you're still grieving." I focused my eyes on the ceiling as I listened to Summer.

"It's not just that." I murmured. "You know how things were with dad and I. So I don't want to feel that at all. Or at least, not yet" I cut myself off. "I just want Paul." But since that was a mission impossible I doubted something would happen about that.

"You ended it though." Kim said puzzled. "Why did you do that when you want him back?"

I let out a stupid laugh. "Reversed psychology." I shrugged. "I don't know. I was just so fed up with everything that I thought if I gave him an opening he'd understand."

"Understand what?" Summer inquired.

"That I still loved him." I said weakly. I heard Kim exhale loudly behind me.

"Oh Jules, you know how men are." Kim scoffed. "They're asses. They don't get these kind of things. Never make it hard just say it out loud. Say what you want."

"It's too late now though." Another wave of tears washed over me and I took a shaky breath.

"If you're worrying about Rachel just give me a chance and I'll fix that, alright?" Summer tried to lighten the air and I let out a watery smile.

"Thanks, but I'm not worried about her, or not so much." I said honestly. "I just hate her because she's able to get close to Paul while I can't. Otherwise I'd like her."

Summer shrugged. "She's not that bad, I guess." She replied. "It's just sad to see her fawn over Paul while it's obvious that her feelings aren't being returned." I frowned.

"I thought he did-"

"He doesn't." Kim interjected quickly. "You can't break an imprint, Julie. No one can. Not even the other Alpha's sister." I nodded slowly.

"Still." I continued. "I fucked up for good."

"Not necessarily." Kim said.

"Paul doesn't deserve you honey." Summer said. "It's his own fault for letting it come this far." I shook my head, not agreeing with Summer.

"I know what you're doing." I said to her. "And it won't work. Don't try to give Paul all the credit alright? He doesn't deserve that." Summer dropped her eyes.

"It's up to you now." Kim muttered. I nodded.

"I know." I said steadily. "I just wish I knew what to do." A silence engulfed us and I felt comforted by my best friends presence. Kim and Summer were now on either side of me. I felt like I was in a cocoon. It was warm, soothing, and I felt at ease with them with me. Despite their differences they came and it meant the world to me. Having Kim and Summer as friends was always something I took for granted. I guess it's time I rearranged my priorities.

"Jules," I still hated that name though. "What _did_ happen in New York." Kim asked. "I mean, we've heard Paul's side through the pack of course. But we never heard your side." I bit my lip.

"You'll hate me." I confessed.

"I can assure you." Summer began. "We won't!"

I took a deep breath. My mind was already spinning towards that horrible day four years ago. For some reason it felt like it was longer. But perhaps that was partly because I couldn't bear one day, let alone four years.

"Well... It started when..."

"_I can't believe you've put me up to this Casey." I said out loud. "You do know I have a boyfriend." I reminded her as she dragged me through the crowded streets of New York at ten in the evening. _

_Casey threw her blonde hair over her shoulder before raising one of her perfectly manicured eyebrows. "You do know your boyfriend is all the way in La Push. Which is God knows where." I let out a small laugh and rolled my eyes._

"_It's in Washington, Casey. How many times have I told you?" _

"_Probably not often enough." She retorted. "Anyways, it's not like I'm gonna force a guy on you. It's just for fun. Can't we have fun nowadays?" _

"_Course we can, Casey." I said, somewhat insecure. "But I'm a lightweight and I don't feel that comfortable being in a bar." Casey rolled her eyes again._

"_Don't worry about that. Just focus on having fun. Besides, I'm here! We can have fun!" She winked at me. "When is your boyfriend coming again?" My mood perked up at bit at this and I gave her a smile. "Ooh look at you. You're glowing." Casey cooed. I blushed._

"_Oh stop it!" I responded. "His name is Paul and he's coming in a week." I said and she nodded. Her bright eyes illuminating in the chaotic lights of New York._

"_Well, make sure to introduce me." She said and I nodded quickly. _

"_I will!" _

_Twenty minutes later we were in the bar. It was filled up with people and smoke invaded my nostrils making me cough. It was hard to see because of it and I fully trusted Casey, hoping she'd know what she was doing. Her hand held onto mine and she pulled me into the directions of the bar and before I knew it she had grabbed us two seats and she pushed me onto one. I let out a deep breath, happy we were seated. The music was loud, but not that loud so I couldn't hear anything at all. I tried to listen to Casey as her eyes skimmed the dancing crowd for possible conquests. _

_Casey was a nice girl. Hell, she was a confident chick. The exact opposite of me, maybe that's why we became such good friends. She was able to wrap a guy around her finger with a simple smile. I didn't have to do that, I already had Paul. Which was a comfort for it didn't happen often that a girl found her soul mate on the tender age of seventeen. However it did happen with me. After all he was my imprint. And despite the distance we were able to keep our relationship working. And I was looking forward to seeing Paul again. It was his turn to visit me here._

"_Ooh, look at him!" Casey suddenly cried out and she pointed to a blond guy. He looked alright enough and I gave Casey the heads up and before I knew it she had jumped off her seat and plastered herself next to the guy. And from where I was sitting I could see she wasn't going home alone._

_I let out a sigh and ordered a drink when suddenly I felt something wet trail down my bare arm. I let out a yelp and turned around swiftly, only to be grabbed by a incredibly hot guy. And with hot I meant temperature wise. I've never met anyone, besides the pack, that felt this hot. I gasped out loud and looked at the dark, tanned guy. His black hair was short and spiked in a messy disarray. I let out another gasp._

"_Paul?" I whispered. The guy heard me but when I looked closer I could see that it wasn't Paul. I felt slightly disappointed. But what would the odds be of seeing Paul here in New York. On the other side of the freaking country on a random night? Well we all know the odds to that._

"_I'm sorry." The guy said shocked. His strong features making me miss Paul even more. "I didn't see you there. Here let me get that." He grabbed a few tissues and started to wipe away the wetness of his now forgotten drink on my skin. I took over thanking him._

"_It's alright. Accidents happen." I said to him as he kept on apologizing. He grinned ruefully._

"_At least let me make it up to you." I started to shake my head._

"_No it's alright." _

"_Please! Just one drink and I'll be gone!" He gave me a smile and for some reason I agreed. _

"_Sure, why not." _

_I found out his name was Bryce and he was from Canada. He was Native American but from a different tribe. I couldn't exactly remember the details. I guess that's why he reminded me of Paul, because the more I looked at him, the more I saw how he _wasn't _like Paul. For some reason that comforted me. Paul was coming, I kept reminding myself. Just a few more days and then you'll be having this conversation with Paul._

_Bryce was easy to talk to and that was nice. He didn't talk much about himself though. His attention was more focused on what I did. So I told him everything. I even mentioned that I had a boyfriend and his name was Paul. I told him I was from La Push. I told him Paul was coming in a few days. I told him almost everything. And I _never_ saw the harm of it. After all, I doubted I'd see him again after this night._

_But then morning came. And I barely remembered how I got home, let alone in my bed. Naked. I turned around in my bed and was confronted with my white linen sheets and I let out a sigh. My clothes were neatly folded and they lay on the desk. I let out a shaky breath. So I was in the mood to sleep naked, alright. No harm in that. But why couldn't I remember what happened last night? _

_I remembered Bryce and I talking. And after that nothing. _

_I put my hand to my spinning head and got to my feet. I grabbed the sheet and wrapped it around me like a makeshift toga, trying to keep the dizziness at bay. My bare feet touched the cold floor of my bedroom in my apartment. I stumbled to the living room to the kitchen and I grabbed a glass, filling it with water. My mind was straying to the possible outcomes of what could've happened. But it felt like moving through quicksand. The fog in my head was so prominent I felt like giving up immediately. I chose to debate about this issue later on. Suddenly the doorbell rang and I frowned before taking a quick peek at the clock. It was eleven AM. I sighed and opened the door when I saw it was Paul._

"_Paul!" I cried out surprised and he laughed at me as I wrapped my arms around him. His embrace holding up my sheets._

"_Not that I'm complaining but what's up with your outfit?" He asked with a teasing grin when suddenly his laugh died out. He furrowed his brow and was he really sniffing my living room? Paul came inside and shut the door behind him. "Is there someone here?" He asked._

"_No!" I said confused. "Why?" _

"_What did you do last night?" He inquired._

_I held onto my sheets. "I went to a bar with Casey." He nodded slowly. _

"_Okay, maybe that's why..." He trailed off and gave me a smile before bending down and kissing me soundly. I melted into his arms. My hands seeking skin when suddenly I heard a sound. Paul broke away from me swiftly and both of us turned to the sound when suddenly I saw Bryce._

"_Bryce? What are you doing here?" I demanded. "And what are you wearing?" I eyed the towel around his waist and suddenly felt sick. I put my hand on my forehead, my head spinning. Paul turned to me. _

_That look still haunted me._

_**XXXXXX**_

I was moving the cart down the aisles of the La Push grocery store. My head still stuck on that day in New York. I felt like a broken record. I knew that Paul still thought I had slept with Bryce but I still couldn't remember I did. And I honestly doubted I would do such a thing in the first place. But it didn't matter, cause Paul was hell bent on his own conclusion of the night. He barely even let me explain. He didn't care that I didn't remember anything. He just thought I cheated on him. The idea of me doing that made me nauseas.

I sighed and filled up the cart with items. It had been two days since I told Kim and Summer my side of the story. Summer didn't understand Paul's anger. According to her it wasn't my fault and that I couldn't do anything about it. But Kim didn't agree. She wasn't angry with me, probably because she knew that I didn't even remember what happened. But she did see Paul's side. And she agreed with him more.

However, Summer had a theory why I couldn't remember anything. He might've used some kind of drug and knocked me out. Preventing me from remembering anything so he could sleep with me easier. But somehow I just didn't think Bryce and I slept together. I know that I would've at least _felt_ it the next morning, but nothing like that had happened, or so I hoped so. I just wanted to know why Bryce did whatever he had done. I didn't know the guy. Was I some random girl? Was he bored?

And he seemed so nice at first.

But I couldn't tell Paul anything. Couldn't tell him I was afraid that someone might've taken advantage of me. Couldn't tell him that it scared me cause I couldn't remember a single thing. Couldn't tell him that I still wanted _him_ no matter what.

"Julie!" Kim's voice reverberated in my head and I turned to the sound and saw to my surprise Kim and Jared. Behind them Paul. I gave him a shocked look as Kim hugged me briefly. "How are you?" She asked and she gave me a pointed look. I muttered something incoherently.

"Sorry?"

"I'm good."I said quickly. "Just getting some necessities." I explained and Jared smiled at me.

It was the first time I'd seen Paul since the bonfire a week ago. The police had interrogated me that night and I had told them everything in a catatonic state. I wondered if that made my testimony legit. I let out a sigh and turned my attention to the three familiar Quileutes. All three of them staring at me vaguely.

"Sorry." I muttered quickly. "I have to go. I'm late for my..." I trailed off. "Right. Well, I'll see you guys." I said and I gave Kim a quick smile before turning around with my cart. As I paid for the groceries and carried the paper bags to my car outside I stumbled.

I dropped the bags on the ground and I let out a harsh breath as I bent down on my knees to collect the fallen things. The slight drizzle, which was now common in La Push, was coming down and was making my hair frizzy. I couldn't believe Paul had seen me like this. Wearing sweatpants, looking completely miserable and obviously very ugly. I grabbed the fallen apple and dropped it in the bag with a vengeance. Why wasn't my life perfect? Why wasn't _I_ perfect? Why weren't we perfect together?

I got back to my feet again."You forgot something." I looked up, giving myself a whiplash in the mean time. I gasped out loudly as I took in the stranger in front of me. "Julie."

My head spun as my eyes zeroed in on the 'familiar' face. My heartbeat halted and I found myself dropping the bags again. Only this time I wasn't going to bother to retrieve the items that were now rolling all over the dirty ground. He was still the same. The same sharp features. The same blue eyes. The same tanned skin colour. The same scorching temperature as he grabbed hold of my hand, pulling me closer to him.

"Ah ah ah!" Bryce said slowly. "Wouldn't want to attract attention, would we?" His demeanour was taking a whole one eighty and I pressed my lips together as my face paled in his presence.

"Bryce." I gasped out. "W-what are you d-doing here?" I blinked. If I recalled correctly, he should've been back to Canada. In fact, I hadn't seen him in four years, not after what happened with Paul in the apartment. Everything didn't add up. What the hell was he doing here?

"The same thing you are doing, Julie!" He said slowly. He bent down closer to me, giving me a swift taste of his smell. It made my insides turn into ice. "Mourning."

"Mourning?" I retorted befuddled. "W-who? I-I m-mean..."

"My brother died." He said stoically. All signs of mockery gone now. Instead, he replaced it with a harsh look. His cold eyes penetrating mine. I shivered and started to struggle. He tightened his grip on my wrist and suddenly he was hurting me. I cried out in pain.

"Bryce, you're hurting me! Let me go!" I said. I knew he was leaving marks but for some reason it felt like he was doing it on purpose. I struggled even more and suddenly he pushed me down to the ground. I fell on my back and I scrambled backwards. My skin was scuffed up as it scraped down the wet asphalt. Bryce crouched down, facing me again. I whimpered and tried to move away but he grabbed my arm. His fingertips digging into my skin again.

"It's been a while since we've seen each other, you know." He continued, as if he was holding a civil conversation. "How have you been? I mean, you must be all torn up about your dad dying and all."

"Shut up!" I whispered. "You know _nothing_ about that!"

"On the contrary, sweetheart." He moved closer. "We all know how much you resented the old man." He moved away again. "And who can blame you, huh?" I dropped my eyes to the ground. I was hoping someone was seeing this, maybe Jared and Kim were still around. "And with Paul hating _you_. I'm sure your life must be an absolute hell." The way he said it was making me doubt the subject. How could you possibly say this with a smile on your face?

"Just let me go Bryce." I said again. "You don't know what you're talking about. And if Paul catches you here he is going to kill you." I knew that it was a long shot but at least I had something to work with. Something to hope for.

"_If_ being the operative word." He retorted. "Why don't you stop kidding yourself Julie. He won't do anything. After all, you did _sleep _with me." I froze.

"No!" I shook my head. "We didn't do _anything_!" I said frantically. "I don't know what you slipped in my drink but we didn't do anything!" Bryce shook his head, a smile on his face.

"But I've seen _all_ of you! Trust me, I still remember every single bit of it!" I felt my eyes burn with unshed tears and my stomach was clenched in knots.

"You bastard!" I spat. "You sick bastard!"

"Didn't you ever _wonder_ why I did it?" He suddenly asked. "Ask yourself, why did Bryce pick me, huh?" He asked. "After all, we met in a bar. And what were the odds of Paul coming the next day while I still was with you?"

"Are you telling me you planned this?" I gasped. I stared at Bryce with wide eyes as every word he said sank in. The odds of Paul catching us? I put my free hand against my head, trying to rub away the throbbing migraine. I let out a shaky breath. "But why?"

"You can tell your _imprint_ that I know every single _wolfy_ problem they've had in the past few years." He said stoically. Specifically emphasizing the words that betrayed the fact he knew the big secret. I blanched and he threw me to the ground.

"H-how?" I stammered.

"Oh I know Julie." He confirmed.

"Hey!" A loud voice bellowed and I vaguely registered it to be Paul and Jared. I looked up and to my surprise Bryce was gone again as suddenly I felt a hot hand on my arm. I screamed. My head was on overdrive and my thoughts were spinning in a wayward movement going down.

"Julie, you alright? Who was that?" Jared demanded. Suddenly Paul came back and I realized that Bryce had gotten away.

"He got away." Paul said, confirming my thoughts. "What is it with you and attracting the wrong guys at the fucking grocery store, Julie?" Paul asked. I could hear the joke in it but I could care less about that. My thoughts were only stuck one thing. And that was that Bryce knew.

Oh _fuck_, Bryce knew!

"What did he want?" Paul continued.

"He knows!" I gasped. Paul bent down.

"What?" I turned my eyes to Paul.

"About you!" I said. Paul's eyes narrowed and for the first time I noticed the bruise like circles beneath his eyes. They were like a permanent tattoo. How could I have not seen it? He moved closer to me and I could hear Kim behind me as Jared responded to her.

"What does he know?" Paul asked. He was being so calm about this, I wondered if he knew the severity of the situation.

No one was allowed to know about the pack. Except the council, the imprints and some of the direct families if there was no other choice. But that was it! Most of La Push was in the dark of the Tribe stories. Most of them thought it was nothing but superstitious bullshit. And now an outsider knew. My throat constricted and I grabbed Paul's hand, drawing him closer.

"About the pack." I informed him. "He knows about _everything!_"

_A/N: Hopefully the confusion is now clarified! Or so I hope it is! Anyways, let me know your thoughts! You know I love them :D_


	8. But The Queen Has Been Overthrown

_Disclaimer: All creative rights belong to Stephenie Meyer. No profit is made by writing this story. Only for amusing purposes! lol!_

_A/N: So it took me two weeks to update :( Sorry! But unfortunately it's going to be the last chapter for a while now! I'm moving so I'll be busy with that! And my internet will be hooked up on the 23rd of August. Hopefully something will be arranged before that date! But I severely doubt it! Hopefully you guys will like this chapter in the mean time! So enjoy and let me know your thoughts._

_And like always thank you very much for all the support and reviews. You guys are brilliant and absolutely the best :) Thank you very very very much :D I appreciate every single one of them._

_Song used **Lights **by** Ellie Goulding.**_

_But The Queen Has Been Overthrown _

"Wait _what?"_ Paul demanded. He grabbed hold of my upper arms shaking me a few times. I blinked a few times as I tried to focus on the words Paul was saying. But my mind was solely concentrating on the dream I had a week after my dad's funeral. The dream in which Bryce turned into a wolf. I pulled away from Paul and sat back down. I couldn't care about the fact I was getting wet, I just had to figure out the wheels that were turning in my head. Everything swirled and warped in my mind as my eyes zeroed in on Paul. He was barely aware of the fact that I wasn't listening. In fact, he just kept on yelling things. Things I didn't understand when suddenly Jared interjected and muttered something. This pulled Paul out of his own stupor and he eyed me carefully.

"Julie?" He put his hand on my shoulder and I turned my head away from them. My eyes peered into the dark forest that loomed over our heads and sighed.

"We have to get to Sam! He has to know about this." Jared interrupted and I felt a warm arm around my shoulders.

"Jules, who was that?" Kim asked gently and I stared at her, suddenly remembering that they didn't know who it was.

"That was Bryce." I gasped out loud. "H-he s-said... o-oh." I put my hand against my stomach and suddenly the ticking bomb exploded behind me.

"_What_?" Paul's voice was unnaturally calm. His dark eyes were black and I could see the anger in his eyes, feel it radiate off his skin. His hands were clenched in tight fists, his skin white because of the strain.

I pushed my palm against my forehead. I tried to go back to every word that was said when my stomach churned and I got aware of everything between us. Bryce was here. I'd be able to find out what truly happened four years ago. I then looked at Paul and saw he was livid. And his anger was partly directed at me.

"What was he doing here, Julie?" Paul asked. "How the hell does he know about the pack? Did you tell him about us?"

"What?" I exclaimed. "Are you crazy?" The indignation prominent in my voice. "What do you think Paul? I don't know the guy!"

Paul scoffed. "Well enough to sleep with him!" I put my hands to my face again.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I haven't slept with him!" I cried out. I could feel my eyes burn with frustration. Paul diverted his eyes from me, disgust dominant on his features.

"You make me sick!" Paul muttered lowly.

And that was when I snapped.

I raised my hands and started to hit him. I tried reaching out to every inch of skin that was in my reach and I couldn't care less about my own bruises I'd have. I could hear Kim's voice in my ear as she tried to pull me away but I knew that once I had snapped that nothing could stop me. Not even a fucking werewolf, as Jared started to put some distance between me and Paul.

"Hitting me is not going to solve the fucking problem, Julie!" Paul said.

"I know that!" I yelled. "But it makes me feel better."

"Oh, in that case." Paul mocked. "Go ahead!" He raised his arms indicating I could hit him everywhere.

At that point it didn't feel right anymore and I let out an exhausted sigh, pulling away from Jared and Kim who were flanking me from either sides.

"Can both of you just stop this?" Jared snapped. "We have more serious issues on our hands!" Paul rolled his eyes and I could feel his eyes on me.

"Don't look at me." I murmured lowly, realizing what a big baby I was right now.

Jared sighed and ran his hand through his hair, suddenly looking exasperated. "Look, we're going to Sam. And you're coming with us! Now move it!" Jared ordered and too surprised to react I let him pull me to their car.

The drive to Sam's house was short and incredibly awkward. Kim tried to lighten the atmosphere by trying to start a conversation but even she realized that at some point it wasn't possible! It was getting annoying as well, I wanted Paul to see that whatever was going on that it wasn't my fault. I had no control over Bryce's actions. I barely knew the guy. I hadn't seen him in four years. I didn't know anything but Paul didn't even bother to pretend to believe me. Which is even worse than not believing me at all. I knew I hurt him. But even he could see that perhaps, perhaps this wasn't my fault at all. That maybe something had happened completely out of our reach and that maybe we needed to fix it now. If we still wanted a chance at a happily ever after.

Or maybe it was just me. And maybe I was the only one that wanted it.

I'll be honest, I wanted Paul. No, I _needed_ Paul. I could be damn selfish at times, but God I needed him. And I wish he could see that he needed me too.

Once arrived at Sam's house, I was being dragged into the cottage. I growled as Paul shoved me in front of him, forcing me to quicken my pace. I turned around with a vengeance.

"You can stop manhandling me!" I snapped. Paul looked down at me and the pit of my stomach tightened.

"Wasn't aware I was doing it." He remarked dryly and gave me a push again, albeit a bit more gentle than the one before. I focused my attention on something else. Why oh why could he affect me like this on such an unfortunate moment? It was as if he was able to pull me out any situation and turn it around for his own pleasure. That couldn't be right, or was it me? I surely couldn't help being so affected by him.

I just wish he was affected by me too.

I sighed and as we entered the house, confronted with a confused Sam, the real drama truly began. How were we going to explain that Bryce knew about the pack? Especially since I was convinced that they would put the blame with me. Because I had _slept_ with him. I could feel the insults burn in my stomach. They hadn't be said yet but I knew what was coming.

I was such a _whore_.

I was pushed onto a chair as Jared and Kim explained what happened. Paul supplying when needed, but his venomous tone did not go by unnoticed. I wasn't going to lie and say I couldn't care less about that. But it hurt. A lot. But I had told him over and over again that it wasn't my fault. But perhaps that's what was bothering him. That whatever had happened really wasn't my fault, but we still got stuck with the consequences.

We still were apart.

But I wondered what was worse. Being all alone in my apartment, miles away from Paul, knowing that we'd never be together. Or being here, in La Push. Where he's in my constant view, with the idea still pretty much the same. Alone, knowing that I'd never be with him again. I could feel the buzzing in my ear as the hurt took over my body. At some points I wished I could move away and take a look at myself. Wondering if I really was that pathetic as everyone thought I was.

I eyed Sam from a distance.

"Where's Emily?" I suddenly interjected. I wondered where the person would be that _would_ be on my side.

Everyone's eyes turned on me. I realized I had interrupted their story and consciously pulled at the hem of my shirt. Sam eyed me carefully before I could see in his eyes that he hadn't judged me yet. For some reason that soothed me.

"She's with my mother." Sam clarified and I nodded slowly.

"Oh!" Seeming the only adequate answer I could provide. I leant back into my seat again and throughout the remaining conversation I could feel Paul's eyes on me. I didn't look back, just kept my eyes on the ground or anywhere away from him.

They still hadn't addressed me yet. Hadn't asked me my side of the story. And for some reason I wondered why they couldn't just drop drawing their own conclusions and just ask _me_. I knew what was going on. I thought back to the dream I had. It was obvious there was a link. I could see that, but I hadn't told anyone else about the dream yet. For some reason I was more afraid of _that_ part of my story than the one that is true. For I knew that they wouldn't believe me anyways. But I had to tell them. I just had to say something.

"I'm here you know." I said out loud. The conversation halted around me and several eyes came to a rest on my face. "I can tell you what I _haven't _done."

"And here it comes." Paul muttered lowly. I swallowed away the doubts.

"I haven't told Bryce about the pack!" I said firmly, or at least I tried. The tremor in my voice was unmistakably there. "I would never do that."

"Just how you wouldn't _sleep_ with him either!" Paul mocked.

"Shut up!" I snapped. I rubbed my forehead again. A migraine coming up. "I haven't slept with him!" Paul rolled his eyes, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Right..." He drawled.

"Paul! Back off, let her speak!" Sam interfered.

"Don't you think I would _remember_ sleeping with him?" I said out loud. Paul's eyes shifted. "I don't remember anything."

"What do you mean?" Paul asked cautiously.

"It means someone slipped something in her drink." Kim interrupted. "Most likely Bryce and you would've known had you taken the time to hear her out." I frowned at Kim. I thought she didn't want to take sides. "But you should've made him listen." She turned to me. I dropped my eyes to the floor, knowing she was right.

"Maybe this was a bad idea." I muttered and I got up trying to move away from everyone when Paul grabbed my arm.

"No! Wait!" He said. His eyes sought out mine. "What do you mean he slipped something in your drink? Did he do something to you?" I shrugged.

"I wish I knew! But if he did, it wasn't with my consent." Paul dropped my arm and ran his hand through his hair.

"Right!" Sam interjected. "Now that's clear." He said. He looked at Paul and I could see Paul avert his eyes. "But it doesn't change the fact that he knows. We need to find out how he knows! What did he exactly say to you?" Sam asked me.

"He said he was here because he was mourning or something." Sam frowned.

"Mourning?" I nodded.

"Yeah, I couldn't figure that part out either. But he does know about every problem you guys had in the past few years with the pack. And he knows about the imprints."

"How is that even possible?" I shrugged.

"I don't know!" I said. "I wish I did."

"Well, shit!" Paul exclaimed and he pushed himself away. "Now what do we do?"

I put my hands in front of my mouth and eyed the frustrated looks on Sam and Paul's face. "I think he's a wolf." I murmured lowly. I thought that no one had heard me but Jared's head snapped towards me.

"What did you say?" He asked sharply. I blinked at him and lowered my hands.

"I think he's a wolf." I repeated again. Sam frowned.

"What makes you think that?" Sam asked. "As far as we know there aren't other tribes with shape shifters."

"It could be kept a secret?"I offered. "Like with your pack."

Sam sighed. "True. But do you have proof? Have you seen him?" I shook my head.

"Well no! Or technically I haven't." My mind was swirling back to the dream and my reluctance was rising.

"What do you mean technically?" Paul spat. His anger made me recoil.

"I had a dream." I confessed.

"Great. Drawing conclusions from a dream. That's great." Paul said sardonically and I scowled.

"Paul, shut up!" Kim ordered and he gave her a glare but pulled away when he saw Jared's glare.

"What do you mean, Jules?" Kim pushed. "What kind of dream?"

"It was a few weeks ago." I sighed and sat down. "I was in the woods and Bryce was there." I decided to censor a few things. "I was covered in blood and there was a body." I rubbed my forehead again. "He just stood there when suddenly he shifted into a black wolf."

"Julie. Maybe it was just a dream?" Sam sighed.

"Or maybe not! I had one of these things before. With Victoria!" I urged.

"Victoria the vampire?" Paul clarified. I nodded.

"Before I had ever seen her. Before I even knew how she looked like I dreamt about her. I got every detail right!"

"So you're saying your dreams are prophetic?" Paul demanded. I shrugged.

"Perhaps in this case, they are."

Paul shook his head in disbelief. "Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?"

"Oh geez I don't know! But probably less than you changing into a wolf?" I hissed. "Why are you so negative?"

"And why are you delusional?" He shot back. "It's plain crazy." I felt my eyes burn.

"Okay." Sam got in between the two of us. "Relax. Now Julie, did he say something in your dream?" I narrowed my eyes at Sam. I knew he was trying to be polite, or at least understanding but I wasn't buying it.

"He said something about you starting it." I looked Paul in the eye, turning away from Sam.

"Why are you looking at me?" Paul shifted on his feet.

"Because he told me that_ you_ started something. And he's going to end it!"

"End what?" Paul exclaimed.

"Do you think it has something to do with all those attacks?" Jared asked. Sam shrugged.

"Perhaps. But we're not going to draw any conclusions. We haven't even seen the _thing_ that attacked all those people." Sam responded. "Right now we can't do much. We need to focus during out patrols. That's all I what we can do."

"What about my dream?" I asked. Sam shrugged.

"I'm sorry Julie. But, just because the three of you." Referring to Paul, Bryce and I. "have some issues doesn't mean they're linked supernaturally. Frankly, I'm sick with you two dividing my pack. Sort out your problems Paul." He moved towards him. "Then you need to patrol." Sam said blandly and I felt horribly rejected.

Paul scowled. "No need Sam. I'll go now." Paul turned around, not bothering to say goodbye and left Sam's house.

Before I knew it my feet had followed him and I was descending the small step before my feet hit the damp earth. I could hear the soft footsteps of my shoes as I followed the tall Quileute. I knew he was purposely ignoring me as he shrugged out of his shirt. I could see his gorgeous back and the way his muscles worked as he moved. My stomach tightened and I felt myself yearn for him as never before. I guess it is true then. Wanting something you can't have.

"Paul!" I cried out. "Don't ignore me." I quickened my pace and ran to him grabbing his arm, hoping it would pull him to a stop. He stopped yes. But he also withdrew his arm immediately.

"What?" He gritted out as I eyed him carefully. We were standing so close I was able to feel his body heat. It took all of my self-control not to fall into him.

"I-I-" I stuttered. I stopped.

Paul let out a sigh. "Look, whatever it is. I don't have time to deal with it." I dropped my eyes to the ground. "Deal with it yourself."

"So it makes no difference at all?" I demanded as he moved to walk away again. "You don't care what he might've done to me?" I asked. "You don't care at all?"

"It's not about caring, Julie." Paul started. "I just think it's too convenient that he has drugged you."

"So you don't believe me?" My breath whooshed out of my throat, leaving my chest heaving for more.

Paul didn't spoke so I asked him again. I was urging him even though I knew the answer when he looked at me. "No!"

"So he could've raped me and you wouldn't care!" I exclaimed. Tears brimmed in my ears and I dragged my hand over my face, making the tears spill.

"Of course I'd care." Paul snapped. "But you don't have proof."

"Having no memory of what happened, is that proof enough?" I cried out. "Paul, I don't _remember_ anything." Another wave of tears spilled. "I just woke up naked in my room. I don't know anything. And I don't what to do to make you believe me. But please, _please_ believe me." My voice broke at the end and I let out a shuddering breath.

"Julie." Paul said softly. "Why did you follow me?"

I looked at him. His dark eyes peered down at me and I took a step forward. To my surprise he didn't move away as I gently put my hand on his chest. I could feel the heat of his skin leak towards me. His heart was beating beneath my hand and for some reason I felt better, being able to touch him and all.

"You still don't know?" I asked him. Paul sighed and he grabbed my hand, pulling it off his chest.

"I can't do this anymore." He confessed. "You told me you didn't want anything to do with me anymore. So why are you doing this?"

I scrunched my eyes shut. "I was lying."

"You were lying?" He repeated blandly.

"I didn't mean it. I thought that if I told you that, then maybe you'd understand and tell me what I want to hear." It sounded strange, hearing it. In my mind it made more sense but now it was in the open and it confused the shit out of me.

"Things don't work like that, Jules." My heart fluttered as I heard him call me Jules again. It quickly moved back into the old pattern and I wondered if he could hear it. "You can't tell me to fuck off one second, and say you didn't mean it the next. You can't play with people's emotions like that."

"I know." I agreed. "I know, it was stupid. But with everything going on. I panicked. I mean you left me all alone in the forest. I was terrified." I admitted. "I really didn't mean it."

Silence engulfed us and I realized that Paul was still holding onto my hand. My hand fit perfectly in his. His calloused fingers were harsh to the touch but gentle in feel and that's exactly how I felt it. Gentle. For some reason I was still waiting for the outburst. Waiting for him to push me away. Crush my heart. But it didn't came and I dared to look at him.

"So now what?" I asked cautiously.

"Now nothing, Julie." Paul sighed. "It doesn't change anything."

I frowned. "It changes _everything_." I disagreed. "Paul, I-I..." I trailed off as Paul eyed me with curious eyes.

"But I loved you." I blurted out.

"Julie, I know that." I shook my head. "But things have changed. You won't understand."

"No, _you_ don't understand!" I told him. "I _love_ you. I still do. And I want us to be the way it was before." Paul pulled away and my hand felt awfully empty and cold.

"That's not going to happen." He shoved the knife in my heart. "Too much has happened." He twisted the knife. "I don't think it's a good idea."

"But." I breathed out. "What about the imprint?"

"We'll find something for that." He said casually.

"How can you not care?" I could feel the sting of his words on my skin and my head throbbed with the meaning of his words. I realized he was rejecting me. Yet it hurt me so much more than that.

"Julie. I don't want to talk about it." Paul argued. "You keep going over the same stuff. It's just not going to work between the two of us." I grimaced.

"You're lying." I shook my head. "I don't believe you. You need me! You just can't see it." Paul ran his hand through his hair.

"Look, stop fucking analyzing me! It's not a game." He bit out.

"Who says it was?" I demanded incredulously.

"Just leave me alone." Paul told me. "It's over, like you said." He turned around and started towards the forest.

It was strange seeing him walk away like that. For some reason it was so out of character for him that everything felt so surreal. I told him I loved him. Why wasn't he responding back? He now knew everything. I told him that I didn't remember anything. So why was he walking away from me? I furiously wiped away the tears on my face. He was doing this on purpose. Trying to coax out anything out of me. If he wanted me to prove him I loved him than he should've said so. He shouldn't have left me alone.

"Paul!" I shouted. He didn't stop and I urged my feet to go to him. I had to do it now. It might be too late.

I caught up with him just as he entered the woods. The trees stood far apart and the light was immediately held back by their branches. I grabbed his warm hand and pulled him to a stop. He turned around. "Julie, not now, I don't have time-" I ignored his words and pushed myself to my toes as I yanked his head down towards me, pressing my lips against him with a fervour.

Heat filled me up as I felt him kiss me back. His response was automatic, he barely thought, he just responded and I wrapped my arms around his neck, crushing my breasts against his chest. I felt his hands on my back and they inched towards my ass. Pushing myself even higher on my toes, so his hands would end up where he wanted them to be. This was how it was supposed to be. I deepened the kiss, pushing my tongue into his mouth, wanting to explore it the way I used to. His hot lips, moving with mine in sync made my knees weaken and I felt him press himself closer to me.

He was responding! Oh God he was responding.

I could feel every part of him against me again. I could feel his obvious want for me. I could feel everything. I heard him groan as I bit down on his lip, the obvious indication he liked it.

Suddenly he jerked away. His dark eyes starting frantically at me. "Jules, I-"

"Don't talk." I whispered, pressing myself closer to him as I inched towards his mouth again. "Just kiss me."

Paul didn't object and lowered his mouth to me again. My hands dug in his bare skin, leaving marks for only a second. I could feel him wrap one arm around my waist as he gently lifted me up, our mouths still attached, and moved us further into the woods.

"It's more private." Paul murmured as I eyed him with confusion.

Suddenly he put both hands on my ass and lifted me up completely. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pressed my back against a tree. Our lips sought out to each other, reacquainting again. My hands kept looking for more skin and his muscles clenched as I ran my fingers over them. I felt his wondrous mouth place hot, open mouthed kisses on my neck as he inched towards my throat. My stomach clenched as he quickly worked me out of my coat, dropping it on the forest ground without a care, before slipping his hands beneath my shirt. Having his hands on my bare skin said a lot, it meant I was right.

He did need me.

He did love me.

And he did want me back again.

I smiled into the kiss as he rubbed his arousal against my hot core. I moaned.

"God!" I exclaimed, fuelling Paul's ego. His hands moved to the clasp of my bra and snapped it open before I could even comprehend what he was doing. My head spun as he gently cupped my breast in one of his hands, his thumb flicking over my already puckered nipple. I gently pulled at his earlobe and moved my hips, trying to create friction to relieve this ache in the pit of my stomach.

"Fuck, Jules." He grunted and I sighed breathlessly. He pulled away again, his hands motionless against my bare skin. "We can't do this."

"Why not?" My voice little.

Paul lowered me to the ground again. "I can't take advantage of you like that." I frowned. So it's obvious he cared, yet he was doing the exact opposite of what I wanted him to do.

"Paul, it was my choice." I told him. I turned my eyes on him again and I could see the regret clearly on his face.

And here came rejection again.

"Oh shit." I exclaimed. "I'm sorry. I'll go." I could feel the hot sting of tears and I quickly reached for my bra an hooked it up again before grabbing my coat and moving away from Paul.

"Jules, wait." He called out. I didn't stop though. Not this time. Perhaps it was time to move on.

I wiped away the tears when suddenly I heard a low growl on my left. I froze, what the hell?

From my peripheral vision I could see a black shadow being cast on the dark forest floor. I felt my throat constrict as I pulled myself to a stop. I turned around and was able to make out Paul's figure from a distance. But I could see his stance and suddenly I heard the same growl again. I turned around and saw the biggest wolf I had ever seen. It wasn't similar in any way with the wolves I had seen. I blinked a few times when suddenly the wolf crouched down. His blue eyes piercing into mine. He looked animalistic, but more aware of his actions than any other animal I had ever seen and my heart froze. Oh God!

This wasn't who I thought it was, or was it?

Suddenly he lunged and I screamed and put my hands above my head.

"Julie!" Paul's voice rang in my ear as I felt him grab my waist and push me down to the ground immediately.

The wet earth collided with my body with a hard bang and I let out a terrified whimper. My breath was knocked out of my body and a cacophony of fluttering noises penetrated my eardrums with a vengeance. I could feel Paul's body on mine for a brief second when he suddenly yanked me on my feet. The black wolf was now behind us and I felt Paul push me behind him.

"Get out of here, Jules!" He said. His voice was low and filled with anger and I could see him shake on the surface. "I can't phase with you near me!" I wasn't reacting to his words so Paul grabbed hold of my arm tightly. "Julie!" I blinked and gave him a terrified glance.

"I-I c-cant l-leave you a-alone!" I stuttered.

"Don't worry about me! Go!" I took a few steps backwards when suddenly the wolf lunged again, taking Paul off guard. It was eerie to see how concentrated the wolf was on Paul. How fixated he was on every movement he made and I let out scream when blood was drawn.

The wolf's paws were digging into Paul's skin and I screamed when Paul suddenly burst into different colours. His grey fur was already matted with red blood and his dark eyes focused on the wolf as he gently put distance between the two of them. I could hear the little voice at the back of my mind, screaming at me to run but I couldn't move my feet. I wasn't going to leave Paul here all alone.

Suddenly the black wolf lunged again and this time he aimed at Paul's neck and I let out a terrified squeak when suddenly I heard growls from behind me. Another black wolf with a brown one entered the woods and both of them lunged at the wolf attacking Paul. I heard the whines and my heart clenched with pain.

As the grey wolf collapsed on the forest floor I made a decision. And my feet carried me to Paul in a split second. Tears were already running down my cheeks as I reached him.

"Oh Paul!" I gasped as I bent down on my knees.

_A/N: A bit of a cliffy. Okay, a big one! But please let me know your thoughts anyways :) Pretty please?_


	9. When It's All Said And Done

_Disclaimer; All is used for entertaining purposes only. No profit is made with this, all creative rights belong to . Like we all know that!_

_A/N: And I'm back! Woohoo, my internet just got hooked up and I got the chapter ready :D I hope you guys will like it! I'm sort of sceptic but hmpf, when am I not? Thank you very much for the support of the last chapter :D You guys make my day ;) So with that said I hope you guys will like this one just as much as the former :)_

_Song used **Said And Done **by** Meiko**_

_P.S I'm shamelessly asking you to check out my new Harry Potter story **Yesteryears. **It might strike your fancy :)_

_When It's All Said And Done_

I could hear the soft ticking of the pouring rain outside as I lay perched up on the bed on my side. My eyes firmly settled on the dark figure on the other side of the bed. I had tried to create as much distance between the two of us as possible, I edged closer to the floor than him at some point, but the bed wasn't big in the first place, and since this six foot four giant needed as much space as he could get, distance wasn't a feature easily gained. He was naked from the waist up, his shoulder wrapped in gauze and bandages, faint scars littered all over the exposed skin and as far as my eyes could reach without moving. The only indication that contradicted the limp state Paul's body was in, was the soft breaths I could hear if I strained my ears.

He looked pale, and that said a lot with the natural tan that came with the Quileute heritage. I dropped my eyes to the white linen sheets and let out a soft breath. It was strange to think that a few hours ago I was thrown right smack in the middle of a fight. A fight that I may have caused indirectly, without my knowing. A fight in which someone got hurt. I pushed back a fallen strand of hair and slowly reached out to Paul. My hand hovering above his chest. I wasn't quite sure whether I should reach out this way, I wanted to, God I wanted more but I was so scared what it would mean if he woke up.

Despite the fear this state of him put _me_ in, it was safer for my _heart _that he remained this way. At least, I wouldn't have to bear the criticism and hurt he'd hurl towards me. Funny, how things _used_ to be and how they were right now.

I lowered my hand to his chest and was relieved when I realized it didn't wake him up. He merely let out a soft breath before he continued in the same state as before. His skin still felt hot to touch, that was a good sign. It showed he was alive. That it hadn't c_hanged_ him in anyway. I swallowed back the lump that rose in my constricting throat.

How fast everything had spun out of control was beyond me. The second I ran to Paul another wolf had appeared. One that looked exactly like the other wolf; Bryce. I was convinced it was him who attacked first. That he had attacked Paul. Sam didn't want to believe me but at least he didn't brush it off like before. He couldn't deny this. Bryce's appearance only an hour before the attack. It he wanted to lay it all on a coincidence than who was I to try to prove him wrong, but all the facts pointed at Bryce. And deep down I knew it was him. I didn't need a physical phasing wolf to prove me right. Especially if it seemed like Bryce wasn't alone here, but had indeed brought some _friends_ with him.

I closed my eyes and slowly let my body draw closer to Paul. I was cold and his warmth jumped from his body to mine, radiating a heat I was so desperately craving for.

"Julie?" A voice shook me out of brief slumber and I instinctively snapped my eyes open. I blinked a few times to keep the room from spinning and narrowed them as everything sharpened from the colourful blur I was just seeing. Seth's face hovered near me and I gave him a small smile before he grabbed my upper arms and swung me into a sitting position as he crouched next to the bed. His eyes still stood higher than mine.

"What?" I asked blankly and Seth sighed.

"You know you're not allowed to sleep." He warned slightly. "You could have a concussion." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm alright." I insisted. "I barely feel anything." I told him as I gingerly patted the back of my head. It wasn't that bad, I was just caught off guard but apparently that wasn't enough because Seth glared at me. His dark eyes penetrating mine with a vengeance that didn't suit his face at all.

"Right, since it's normal to be swung into a tree every day." The sarcastic tone didn't go by unnoticed and I was surprised I was annoyed by it. Lately, I couldn't even be bothered my it, but now I felt like a volcano; just waiting to erupt.

"Not now!" I said firmly as I pulled my eyes away from Seth's face and focused on Paul's limp form again. I wanted to lie down again but it didn't seem the right to do with Seth here. So I got on my feet, barely stopping to check my equilibrium, and stumbled slightly into the bed, thankfully not jostling it.

"You alright?" Seth asked me as he grabbed hold of my arm again and I let out a shaky breath in response. Perhaps I wasn't that well as I thought I was. I could feel the slight throbbing at the back of my head and I grimaced as Seth lead me out of the room, down the hallway to the small living room in Emily and Sam's house. There were far too many people here. That was obvious, how I hadn't heard them was beyond me. Seth announced our presence and as their heads turned I was shocked to find that almost everyone was here. Including Rachel. I could feel her hateful stare at me as the resentment washed over me in small waves.

Summer and Kim rushed over to me, Summer throwing a glare to Rachel before turning her eyes on me. Apparently she hadn't missed the slight exchange. Her green eyes stood cautious as she pushed me into a chair.

"Ignore her." She said firmly. "Don't let her get to you, that's what she wants!" I knew she was angry that I hadn't left Paul's side or the fact that she overheard Jared telling Kim what had happened between Paul and I only a few hours ago. She was bound to feel burned.

I shrugged in response and gave Kim a grateful smile as she didn't say a thing, though her eyes gave away that she knew and for some reason it looked like she approved. Hadn't she heard the rejection that came with it?

"How are you feeling?" Summer pressed and I rolled my eyes. Glad to know that it didn't hurt to do so.

"Tired." I informed her. "But I'm fine." Summer nodded absentmindedly.

"Will Paul get better?" I asked her and Summer nodded carefully.

"Yeah. I don't see why not." She said and I nodded, relieved. So Paul was going to be okay. The confirmation I was looking for was here.

So why didn't I feel better?

_**XXXXXXXX**_

The time passed by gradually. If I was honest, I didn't pay too much attention to it. I hadn't returned to Paul's room, even though he had woken up a few times to test his not so great escape. It took both Quil and Seth to push him back into the room. I merely kept my distance. Which turned out to be more difficult than thought. There were cells; my body's to be exact, that wanted to reach out more than anything and I caught myself, more than once, watching Paul's room. At least, I didn't make a fool out of myself.

Or at least, not yet.

It wasn't a secret _why_ it had happened. It was obvious that it was all my doing, perhaps accidental, but it was _my_ doing. And now Bryce was hurting the people I love, or _loved_. Sam had already filled in Jacob's pack about what had happened. Although he still was sceptic about thinking it was Bryce. I suppose it had to do with the fact he couldn't believe there were other shape shifters in other tribes. But he still used his name. Unfortunately that wasn't the biggest issue on my hands. I was so preoccupied with Paul that the whole Bryce thing hadn't sunk in yet.

But now it has.

And it scared me shitless. Especially since I wasn't aware of what he exactly wanted of me. In fact, I couldn't even possibly think of anything that would make Bryce hate me. The only thing that did make sense was me being furious with him. I had every reason to be. He had not only destroyed my relationship with Paul, he had also tried to take a swing at him and hurt him. Although at the time it seemed as if his intentions were worse. Which I surely knew were.

I drew my knees closer to my chest as I leant against the seat of the couch. Rachel still hadn't left, and she had barged right into Paul's room when she realized I wasn't going back there. I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt. It did hurt. A lot. Especially since I realized that Paul wasn't sending her away either.

I suppose he made his choice. And it didn't involve me.

I had known this. Somewhere in the back of my mind. That Paul wasn't going to let me in anymore. But I couldn't help but feel so incredibly angry. It was wrong of him to do me wrong this way. I could understand where he was coming from. His anger was partly justified, only it wasn't directed towards the _right_ person. It wasn't me he should be so angry at. Though the reciprocal love we used to have was something that wouldn't return. Not with the way we were behaving.

It felt all wrong.

Tears burned at the back of my eyes and I stood up, almost robotically, and made my way through the throng of people that seemed to be in my way and quickly trotted towards the small bathroom. I shut the door with a louder bang than necessary, effectively cutting off the conversation in the other room no doubt, and slowly moved to the sink. The mirror that hung on the wall above it showed me my reflection and I was unpleasantly surprised when I saw that I looked worse than I felt.

I quickly washed my face and ran my fingers through my hair a few times. Trying to create something out of the haystack. I dropped my hands to my sides when I realized it wasn't working the way I wanted it to ;feeling more than just frustrated. All of this was helpless. I turned off the light before I made my way out of the bathroom and to my horror I bumped into the last person on this earth I actually wanted to talk to.

Rachel of course.

She scowled and narrowed her dark eyes at me. Effectively intimidating me. I let out a harsh breath as she moved past me, heading towards the bathroom I was just in.

I knew that Rachel hated me. Loathed me for the same reasons Paul did. Only I didn't feel like her anger was justified in any way. She didn't know me. She didn't know what happened. Perhaps she heard Paul's side of the story, but that didn't clarify anything at all. She only heard what she wanted to hear. Not what was the truth. And with that notion I turned around and marched to her.

"Rachel!" I said firmly. My voice showing the exact strength I wished I could feel.

She turned around and I envied her petite body, although she was incredibly tall. Freaking Black genes, I thought manically. Rachel raised one of her eyebrows at me and I could feel the facade of courage break. Like water slipping through my fingers. I sighed.

"How is Paul?" I asked carefully. Treading dangerous waters was one thing. This was a freaking hurricane I was throwing myself in.

Her face showed nothing but resentment and it burned like hell. Although I at least had the comfort knowing that she was all wrong about me. She was being incredibly stupid. To know that, soothed the sting of every sharp end of the words she could hurl at me. In some ways, I didn't lower myself to her standards, if I did, we'd be fighting right now.

"Why do you care?" Rachel sneered.

"Oh, I don't know?" I began sarcastically. "Perhaps because I _care_?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well you're fucking brilliant at showing it." Feeling taken back by the harshness of her tone and the look she gave me. I let out a sigh.

"Rachel. I just asked you how Paul was. I don't need to justify my actions with _you_." I said as evenly as I could. "I don't owe you anything." I added.

"Oh please." Rachel mocked. Obviously not impressed. "That's not what this is about." She took a step forward and for some reason our height difference was even more pronounced when she looked at me with glaring eyes.

"Enlighten me then." I shot back automatically.

"He's not going to take you back." She continued. "I mean, isn't it obvious? You threw yourself at him and he still doesn't want anything to do with you." I tried to quench the painful feeling in my stomach as those words registered in my mind. But she was turning the knife exactly where it hurt the most.

"At least _I_ know where I stand with him." I said softly. "I wish I could say the same thing about you!"

"What is that supposed to mean?" I could see I had hit a sore spot. But wasn't it what everyone was thinking? I thought that it would've reached her ears by know. Since it was common knowledge.

"You know what I mean." I said. My voice stronger now. She raised her eyebrows. "You can't break an imprint bond." I told her. "Wasn't that what you were planning?" I raised my eyebrows at her but she just glared at the silence that followed made it known that this conversation was over and I turned around feeling guilty and triumphant at the same time.

I came back into the living room, seeing it had cleared out a bit. Only Seth, Embry, Collin and Sam occupied it right now, along with Emily –who had come back, and Summer and Kim. The others had left and as Sam's eyes widened when I came him, I knew it was me who he was waiting for. He beckoned me to come closer and I came to a stop in front of him.

"What is it?" I asked quickly. The conversation with Rachel long forgotten now. "What's wrong?"

Sam sighed and his jaw clenched. "We have a problem. Or at least, _you_ do." I sighed, knowing where it was headed.

"It's Bryce, isn't it?" I asked and Sam nodded, although I could see he didn't want to call the wolf Bryce just yet.

"I know you're convinced it is Bryce, and I wish I could contradict you Julie. Trust me, nothing would be better for you. But since it's obvious you're being targeted and are now in fact in danger, we need to keep you as safe as possible." I slowly nodded my head, knowing that this was something that was coming this way all along.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked him as calmly as I could. Although the knots in my stomach were painfully tight. Almost to a point it would snap.

"Someone is going to be with you at all times. I would've asked Paul, but seeing as he is... incapacitated. Not to mention the _tension_ between the two of you. I thought it would be easier if Seth would be with you mostly." I frowned. Knowing that it wasn't anything else than what I had expected but for some reason I had a feeling that perhaps Summer might object. Even though I knew she wouldn't. I just didn't feel that comfortable.

"It's alright. You don't _have_ to babysit me." I said. "Can't you just let someone come by the house every few hours?" Sam raised his eyebrows.

"Julie. Bryce sought _you_ out. I think that if he is targeting you, which he is, and since he is able to move around the rez so easily that it would be better for someone to be with you at all times." I groaned putting my hand against my forehead.

"Sam." I began. "Just. Do whatever you have to do, alright?" I got on my feet.

"Where are you going?" He asked sharply and Emily turned her head to me. I could see the concern in her eyes and I wished I could brush if off as easily as I would. But this time, there was no escaping it.

I rubbed the back of my head with a painful grimace colouring my face before I turned my face to the front door again.

"Julie?" Sam's voice was full of authority but also irritation. I supposed I worked on his nerves.

"Don't worry. I'm just going for a walk. Clear my head." I clarified and I reached for the door when suddenly Sam put his hand against it. His russet skin contrasting greatly against the freshly painted white door.

"Haven't you heard a word I said?" He asked angrily. "You can't go anywhere alone, unless you want to end up like the others!"

"Oh!" It felt like the only adequate thing to say. Although I was pretty sure it wasn't.

"Just let her go." Rachel's voice came. It was sharp and cut through me like a knife. I turned around and saw her beautiful face glare at me. "It's her fault anyways. Let her deal with it!"

"Rachel!" Seth warned. I suppose those two weren't on great turfs either.

"What?" She turned, looking appalled. "It's the truth, isn't it?" She challenged. "All those attacks were actually meant for her." She crossed her arms against her thin stature. "I don't think it should be _our_ responsibility to take care of her. She's not a child, thus she shouldn't be treated that way. Let her figure it out on her own."

Her words kept repeating in my head like an ill-mannered mantra. Only aiming to do bad rather than good and my stomach churned with the meaning of those words. The way she said it. It was cruel. That was for sure. But also because it hurt. And they always said the truth hurt.

Was it truly my fault that all those people had died? Was it all because of me? I felt dizzy as this piece of information swirled in my mind and I could hear several outraged voices. All of them directed towards Rachel as they confirmed the opposite. I knew that she was only saying this to annoy me. But what if it truly was true? All those attacks had started when I came back. I even stumbled across one and yet I came back alive so obviously it had a purpose to serve.

Maybe because it wasn't my time yet?

I blinked heavily as tears filled my eyes and they spilled. Staining my cheeks with their dampness. I eyed Rachel from a distance as Summer attacked viciously. It was obvious that Rachel was smug for hurting me, but it was also obvious she couldn't defend herself against Summer's attacks. I leant against the door and Emily put her hand on my arm as Sam patted my head slowly.

"Is it true?" I asked him. My voice hoarse. "Did those people die because of me?" Sam looked at me. His eyes unreadable.

"Julie, you know it's not true." He said carefully. Withholding information. I bit my lip as a new set of tears washed over me. Emily wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

"What if it is true? What if all those poor people died because Bryce was after me?"

"I think he would've gotten to you by then. His intentions had gotten clear just now. I think the others were just a way to coax _us _out of our shells." And with us he referred to the pack.

"But I just don't get it." I put the palm of my hand against the bridge of my nose. Trying to push away the throbbing. "Nothing adds up. Everything that happened in New York. Him setting me up." I took a breath. "Him being here and attacking random people while in fact he actually _wants_ me. I don't get it! Why? Why is he doing this?"

Sam shook his head. "We're going to find out, alright?" I didn't respond. Not knowing whether it was the lack of trust or the lack of being able to show how I truly felt. Whatever it was, it was enough for Sam to get up and tell the others to guard the house.

"It's going to be alright." Emily tried to soothe as Sam walked out of the front door.

I shook my head. "No it's not!" I almost shouted. "It's not going to be alright. Nothing is going to be alright." I buried my face in my hands again. I could feel the animosity radiate off Rachel from the other side of the room and suddenly I snapped.

Every buried feeling of anger, jealousy, fear and sadness were all mingled up in one big giant blur of fire and I was going to shoot it at her right this instant.

"You must be so _fucking_ happy right now!" I told her angrily.

"Jules, just let it go! It's not worth it." Seth tried to get in between the two of us as it I had gotten to my feet. I pushed past him.

"No! I'm not going to let it go!" I shouted at him. "She's been bitching all evening long, and you wanna know why?" I continued as I zeroed in my eyes at Rachel. "It's because I kissed Paul. There! It's out, now everyone knows _why_ you've been sulking all day long. No it's not because he's hurt, it's because you-" I pointed my finger at her. "-can't deal with the fact that you can't break an imprint." I cocked my head to the side. "There, I said it. Now that's in the open too."

I ignored the shocked expressions on everyone's face and tried to feel euphoric when I saw Rachel's expression. Hurt mixed with anger. But most of all hurt. I dropped my eyes to the floor.

"And all this time I thought _I_ was pathetic." I shook my head in disgust. "I hope you're happy now Rachel. You got what you wanted, right? I'm the fool who couldn't take no for an answer?" I took a shaky breath, trying to give my protesting lungs the oxygen they desired and moved the astound pack members. Seth didn't even bother to stop me.

"Jules." Kim started but I shrugged her off.

"Not now!" I said. The agony was apparent in my voice and they let me go. My feet lead me through the hallway again and I stepped inside Paul's room. Expecting him to be unconscious.

Yet he wasn't.

I inhaled sharply as his eyes fell on me. His expression not exactly what I was going for.

"Paul I-I." I fell quiet. There was no escape this time. He had heard it. I suppose you didn't need super senses for that. I dropped my eyes to the floor again, leaning against the door.

"Julie." Paul sighed and he shifted on the bed before trying to get upright. I quickly moved to him, grabbing hold of his good shoulder as his face crumpled in pain.

"Don't move." I ordered breathlessly. "Just take it easy, 'kay?" I didn't want for an answer and tried to push him down again but he huffed and pushed my hand off his shoulder.

"Fuck that." He cussed. "I don't care if I'm not allowed to move. I need to get this out of my system." He continued. I frowned.

"What do you mean?" I tried to quench the fluttering heart and the little splatter of hope that those words evoked in my heart. But I couldn't ignore the slightly anxious knot in my stomach that twisted and turned. It seemed as if I didn't have any control of my body or emotions.

"This!" He motioned with his hand before grimacing again. I let out a huff.

"Don't move Paul. You're only going to hurt yourself." I pointed out. My voice a soft timbre compared to his rough barks. He rolled his eyes when I tried to reach out again but stayed put. At least it worked in some way.

"Julie, I don't want to do this anymore." Paul confessed. My hands; still on his shoulders, went limp and I focused my eyes on his skin. Slightly awed by the fact how easily some of his scars faded in a few hours.

"Do what?" My voice was hoarse.

"You know what I'm talking about." He continued. "Let's face it. We can't stay away from each other." He let out a harsh breath. "And I'm not sure if I even want to right now." I frowned.

"Well that's convenient." I brought out, feeling somewhat angry as the realization pulsed through my veins. "Why the sudden change of heart?" I asked ferociously.

Paul didn't react, merely looked at me with his dark eyes. "Don't patronize me, Jules." A stab of hurt when he called me Jules so casually. "I'm not messing around."

"Nor am I!" I told him firmly. "I thought it was obvious that you didn't want anything to do with me."

Paul sighed frustrated and clenched his fists, the tendons standing out beneath his russet skin. At least he was getting his colour back. I swallowed the lump in my throat down. I was not going to cry now. Not now I was able to keep it in check, or at least somewhat.

"I wasn't rejecting you." Paul told me. "I was surprised."

"Paul, you didn't believe a word I said." I pointed out. I had now moved away, creating a distance between us again. "You refused to take me serious when I told you what happened. Frankly, it seemed you weren't even remotely interested in what I had to say. To me, those are all signs you couldn't care less. And what happened before..." I trailed off and slowly ran my hand over my face, trying to mask away the emotions. "before you got attacked was just the confirmation I was looking for."

"Well how did you want me to react then?" Paul barked. "It took you four years to tell the truth and now you tell me what happened and it's just too fucking convenient." Paul looked away, his eyes pained. "It just doesn't seem realistic to me, that's all."

I leant against the wall, the tears now truly burning. "You don't get it." I said breathlessly, my tears brimming over. "And you're not even trying."

"I am trying, damnitt." Paul got on his feet.

"Right." I responded sarcastically. "I can see the effort."

"Fuck, Jules!" He cussed again. "I want to believe you." He moved unsteadily and it took all of my willpower not to reach out to him. "But I just don't know... how." He finished slowly.

"Take my word for it." I told him. "Believe _me_. Trust me!"

Paul turned his eyes to me. "I do. Or at least, I used to."

I shook my head slowly. "Paul, when you pushed me away, you made a decision. Only, you didn't realize that it's not just _you_ who would be affected by it. I should have a say too."

Paul averted his eyes. "Well what do you want me to do then?" He barked. "I want to believe you. I want to kill that son-of-a-bitch. And that I will." He added, promisingly.

"I just want you to _understand_." I want you back. Those were the words that were written between the lines. And it made me wonder if Paul would see them or not. But he always surprised me. Sometimes bad, sometimes good. It differed. But at least the element of surprise never faded.

Paul glanced at me carefully, his eyes assessing me with caution before he suddenly sat down on the bed and the tears were now freely rolling down my cheeks. Strange how everything was coming to an end.

Or a start.

Depends on how you looked at it. I took a shaky breath and kept my eyes focused on him when suddenly I moved towards him, grabbing hold of his hand. Feeling his calloused, big, hot hand in mine and actually responding to my touch made the anxiety slowly disappear. As if it had never existed. But along with the anxiety the hope pushed itself back as well and I was left with nothing to hope or fear. Whatever he was going to throw my way, I was ready for it.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what I need to say to make you understand. So you just tell me what to do now." My voice was a mere whisper. One that seemed to soft to be heard but I knew he did and Paul sighed.

"I don't know." He returned. The obvious pain in his eyes was an indication that at least he felt the same amount of pain I did. Only it took more out of him because he was so used to keeping it all inside. I let out a sigh and nodded. A stray tear fell on his skin and he flinched obviously.

His hand was slowly letting go of my hand and his eyes returned to mine. "We need time to work this out." He said suddenly. "I need a bit of time."

My lips curved into a watery smile. "I can give you that."

And with that the floodgates opened fully and he pulled me down on his lap. My face was buried in the crook of his neck as my tears ran. This wasn't crying quietly like before. Now he had opened the door I had kept locked for so long everything was bound to come out chaotically. I wrapped my around his neck, minding his shoulder, as he rubbed my back with his good arm. My sobs the only sound filling this room.

Those words weren't telling me that everything was alright _now._ But at least we were now taking a chance to _make _things alright. We were going to go back to when things were easier. Or at least less painful than now. And it was a start for something. A start to change things and make it better.

And all this time communication was the problem. The same problem the two of us used to have before. And the same problem we had promised to work on. I pressed myself closer to him, taking in his scent, the feel of his skin. Knowing that I didn't have to worry anymore whether I would ever be this close to him again. I pushed myself away from him and rested my forehead against his. I could feel him wipe away a few of my tears with his fingers but he didn't try to make me stop.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and my eyes met his. The pain unmistakably raw. "I really am." I nodded.

"So am I." I murmured. He let out a soft sigh before gently pressing his lips against the corner of my mouth.

It was going to be alright. And that was more than I could ever say in the past four years.

_A/N: So we're looking at some progress, aren't we? I'm not saying that everything is going to be all good and peachy again! That's not how things work. But I am going to make an effort to push those two towards that somewhere in the future :) Thank you for staying sane, cause I know I'm losing my sanity! _

_Let me know your thoughts :) They're brighten my day significantly. Especially since it's raining dogs over here :(_


	10. Marks A Battle, Still Feel Raw

_Disclaimer: SM has all the creative rights and I'm merely an overenthusiastic fan of the pack :D_

_A/N: Wow, two months already :O I feel real bad about the delay but uni is so much more time consuming than I thought. I suppose I underestimated it, like most of the students. However, as I got busy with college so did my muse. It sort of left me and I was left with nothing but a bad taste in my mouth. But I can honestly say I am back! And I'm going to keep updating regularly. I am NOT abandoning this story. I got too far for that. Besides, I'm sort of proud of it! So thank you, all of you for the lovely, supportive reviews :) You guys are remarkable, even though I am not! _

**_HOWEVER!_**_ I am not sure who it was, but I was quite offended, and perhaps it wasn't meant that way. But it was my perception, because not only did it fuel the laziness to not update, it also offended me. So next time if you make assumptions, at LEAST sign the review ;) Because even you haven't said it out loud, the insinuation was there. And the second someone implies I do NOT treat my readers well, I get upset. I am sorry for the delay, but life happens. Because fanfiction is a hobby, it's done for fun. And it comes WAY DOWN BELOW on my priority list. So keep that in mind. But no worries, updates will be regular again :) Just a heads up! _

___Also, I got loads of people asking me whether Bryce was related to Dante. HE IS NOT! You'll get the gist in this chapter a bit, so hopefully you'll come up with other great ideas :) But he is not related to Dante or anyone whatsoever. He is a NEW character with a new purpose :)_

_So without further ado, enjoy this chapter :)_

_Song used **Exit Wounds** by** The Script**_

_Marks A Battle, Still Feel Raw_

Words were swirling and twirling all around. Some were emphasised and put near the light making it all the more prominent for me to see. Volumes rose and I found myself shrinking away from it all. The tumult it caused made me feel even worse. And perhaps it was partly because I had a tendency to be such a masochist. A habit Paul had tried to push out of me. Hell, he tried more than just push. But some habits are hard to break. And despite my self-inflicted pain, even I wouldn't choose this.

I scrunched my eyes shut with such fervour I was certain I had glued them shut. But when I thought clarity had taken over and I opened them again, the blur hit me full-fledged and I was thrown back again. I had tried to catch Paul's eyes. But he was so focused with fighting both Sam and Seth I decided not to intervene again. I had, however, caught someone else's eye and those weren't the friendly one's I was searching for.

Rachel was glaring at me with so much hatred I wondered where she was getting it all from. It wasn't possible for one to be such a bitch yet be able to turn herself into the victim. She wasn't a victim.

Perhaps a victim of love.

But not of one that was mutual.

Paul didn't love her. He never did. Or at least, he hadn't reached a point in which he realised he could love her. And as selfish as I was, I was relieved he hadn't reached that point. As far as imprinting goes. It either makes or destroys your love. In our case, it did both.

Now it was up to us to choose which way we wanted to continue.

I wanted the good part. I had enough of the bad. Paul, I hoped, was either too exhausted to fight me, or he was done. Or he was both. But whatever it was, it was time he listened. And he did. Only, I wished he'd fight a bit more to hear my side. Fight for me, like he used to.

Like he's doing right now.

"I'm _fucking _fine." He barked loudly. His colour had returned and he was now better than okay. Perhaps even fine. The only thing that indicated his injury was the thin, pink line that went from the back of his shoulder to his chest. In only a span of a day it had healed. And he was up on his feet again. "Now, let's just find the motherfucker and get this over with!"

"How the hell are we supposed to find him?" Seth demanded. "We've searched the grounds and beyond. He's not here! Besides, shouldn't we focus on more urgent issues?"

"Like what?"

"Like why he's after Julie?" Sam intervened. I blinked a few times. Emily was holding my hand and gave it a small squeeze as the three werewolves argued with each other.

They were the only ones in here, along with Emily, Rachel and I. I was still wondering why Rachel was here. It was obvious she wasn't concerned for my sake at all. Why be here? I assumed it was to witness my torture and the fun it would evoke her at my expense.

Cause that's how it was now. Laughing at other peoples misery, at their expenses. As long as it doesn't hurt you it was alright. Their justification, as trivial as expected, did nothing but anger me more. And the whole fucking situation with Rachel was exactly like that. Fucking aggravating. I swallowed the thick lump in my throat and I swear I could hear it make a sound in the pit of my stomach. The thump catching not only my attention but also Paul's.

It was just when his eyes fell on me that I realised that they were talking about me.

"Someone has to stay with her, at all times." Hmmm... I would've never seen that coming, note the sarcasm by the way.

Paul's eyes were still on mine as Sam voiced those words and I let out a sigh, shaking my head. Drawing attention to me for the first time since the conversation started.

"That's not going to work." I said steadily. "You saw the way he got passed everyone, not to mention hurt one of you." I pointed out. "There is no way I'm going to put any of you in jeopardy. Especially since this is not your fight."

"The hell it isn't." Sam growled. "He hurt people of the reservation. This was our fight from the start Julie. Don't forget that."

"You're not invincible!" I gritted out. "He hurt Paul like it was nothing. And nor you or Jared were able to stop him. And he was _alone_!" I almost shouted. "He can kill any of you."

There was anger in Sam's eyes and I realised I was actually doubting the ability of his pack. I let out a small sigh and dropped my eyes to the floor. "I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me." It's not worth it.

"Jules, you don't have to worry-" Seth began.

"Are you saying that you're the one that should've gotten hurt?" Paul barked, practically cutting off Seth. The mockery was brilliant in his eyes and I could feel my walls come up again. "Because that's fucking hilarious. You do realise that had you been the one that got attacked, he would've killed you!" He pointed out aggressively. "Had I not been there." He continued, the anger coming back full-fledged. "You would've been dead!" I scrunched my eyes shut.

"He got to you, instead." I retorted back."Isn't that enough of a warning already? He's stronger than you!"

Paul scoffed. "That's bullshit. The only reason is because he caught me off guard!"

"You're not invincible!" I shouted. I realised I was practically waving my hands all over the place. And the anger Paul had was heading towards me. I most certainly didn't miss the smirk on Rachel's face. "And why don't you shut the fuck up!" I hissed at Rachel. The smirk fell and she narrowed her eyes at me.

"Alright, not now!" Seth mediated as he came in between the two of us. "This is not the time." He gave me a pointed look and I rolled my eyes before conceding.

"When is it ever?" I heard her mutter lowly and I bit my tongue, holding in a response. I was not going to fight, Rachel. I wasn't that kind of a girl.

"Rachel." Seth warned again. "Unfortunately, Paul's right." I looked at Seth shocked. "If it wasn't for him, you wouldn't be standing here. You got lucky, Jules." The stab of my nickname was fading again, but I flinched nonetheless. "You just walked away with a concussion."

"That's what I'm saying." I responded back. "People are getting hurt because of me. Why don't you just leave me alone and let me handle Bryce." I told them. "I'll find out what he wants and then I'll give it to him and it'll all be over and done with. Simple!"

"No!" Sam intervened. "Absolutely not." He glared at me. "Are you crazy, Julie? He wants you dead."

"Then why don't you let her go to him." Paul suddenly interjected. His eyes were on me. "It seems she has a fucking death wish." I blinked at him, surprised at what he was saying.

"Shut up, Paul!" Seth barked.

"Are we back to that again?" I asked him astound. "You can't let it go, can you?"

"That's not what I meant." Paul responded. He had the decency to look shamed however the meaning of those words remained. And even though they were hidden along the lines, the purpose was evident. He couldn't let go.

And I was so done fighting.

"I don't care what you meant." I muttered before turning to Sam. "I want you to leave me alone. I'm not your responsibility nor will I ever be. So if you want to deal with Bryce, do it yourself. Keep me out of it."

"Julie, wait!" Seth grabbed hold of my arm. "You can't just leave. You're life is one the line." His dark eyes were filled with worry and concern and I felt horrible for being the catalyst behind those pains. But even this masochist over here, had her limit. And I had crossed mine ages ago.

"I'm sorry." I pulled my wrist out of his grip and moved to the door.

"Let her go!" Sam's voice was soft but I heard him. "I'll ask someone to keep an eye on her."

Like hell they would.

_**XXXXXXX**_

I gently opened the front door and shut it behind me as I entered the living room. It was starting to darken and the skies were tinged a deep purple, slowly descending into black. I let out a sigh and dropped my keys on the small table and jumped a mile when I realised that my mother was sitting on the couch. Her eyes were bloodshot and streaks of grey adorned her hair. She always dyed it before it got too much, but it seemed she had stopped doing that.

I wondered why it took me so long to see what has been in front of me for so long.

"Mom." I brought out. "What are you doing?" My eyes dropped to the empty glass on the coffee table and inwardly groaned. "Please, tell me you've not been drinking." I already knew the answer though.

"Fine." She clipped. "I won't." I swallowed thickly and grabbed the empty glass and the bottle that she hid beneath the table. It felt heavy in my hands. I quickly brought it to the kitchen counter and put it in the sink while emptying the bottle.

A flash of guilt stabbed my back and I found myself wondering why I couldn't see this happening. All of it, in fact. I never saw it. Even though it had been slapping me in the face for the past few weeks.

But it seemed I was so much more focused on something, or rather someone else, that I forgot that my mother was mourning her own lover.

"I never see you these days." My mother's voice was soft and I turned around, surprised to see her this close. The wave of alcohol hit my nostrils like a giant metal truck and I recoiled slightly, trying to keep the grimace off my face.

"Mom. Come on. Let's get you in bed." I grabbed hold of her arm but she flinched as if I had slapped her. I dropped my hand quickly.

"Why don't I see you these days? What have you been doing?" She asked. For someone so intoxicated I was astound by the ability to remain clairvoyant.

"I-I uhh." I stammered and frowned. "I've been busy. I'm sorry. I promise I'll be around more." I tried to grab her arm again but she pushed away from me again. Her dark eyes wide with confusion but most of all, hurt.

I was hurting her.

"Mom." I brought out difficulty. My throat constricted.

"With Paul, I presume?" She asked and my heart dropped to my stomach. "Everything is about Paul, isn't it?" She blinked as tears filled her eyes. "Your father is _dead_ and all you can think about is Paul! Who can't even bear the sight of you!"

Feeling the stabs of pain in my stomach I winced and backed into the kitchen counter. Surprised my mother was making assumptions, throwing them into my face. Hitting me so incredibly hard I thought things were going to break.

"Your father is dead, Julie! He's dead!" Her voice broke and my own eyes filled with tears as she kept repeating that.

"I know." I broke too. "B-but I-I can't-"

"Why aren't you hurting about your dad?" She yelled. "Why am I the only one crying?" She demanded frantically when suddenly she deflated and she leant against the kitchen table. "Why can't you just leave well enough alone?" I knew she was referring to Paul again. "He's gone." And now we were back to dad again. I felt my throat constrict, tears pooling in my eyes.

"Come on." I whispered. "Let's get you to bed." She turned her wild eyes to me again.

"Stop treating me like a child." She snapped. "You're the child. You are _my_ daughter." I dropped my hands against my sides again and she shook her head slightly, trying to shake away the glare she kept sending me. "I'm going to bed." My mother announced and she moved to the stairs. Ascending them with dread. She left me in the kitchen.

I waited till I heard her bedroom door slam shut. It echoed slightly in the empty space before reaching down the stairs. I slowly sank down to the cold floor.

If there was one word I could use to explain what I was feeling it would be guilt. I was so incredibly selfish that I had forgotten that I wasn't the only one that was hurt. My mother was hurt too, more so, perhaps. I tried to blink away the tears but they kept coming down, staining my cheeks.

I was crying. Again.

No wonder no one wanted to be with me. I was burdened with such emotional baggage that people were better off without me.

Fuck. Couldn't I do anything right?

People were dying. My mother was mourning. And Paul and I were supposed to move forward. Instead, we had found a new solution. And that was go backwards. I brought my hands to my face and wiped away the tears. I had to fix this.

But how?

_**XXXXXX**_

The rain was trickling down the leaves, spraying the already damp earth as I trotted down the small hill. I knew I was pretty far out in the forest, and I had long left the trail as well, so if this didn't work out the way I wanted it to, I was screwed. But that was also guaranteed if I _didn't_ do this. So either way I was screwed. I wrapped my arms around my waist to keep the warmth near me and couldn't help but wonder that having a werewolf by my side would be a brilliant idea in this weather.

Then again, if I saw one of the pack members they would practically kill me and drag me back to Emily's for that matter. So no space heater today. If ever actually. I was starting to doubt whether Paul and I could truly make it. I know that I used to believe that there was a chance that perhaps something was set out for us, something other than fighting. After all, we were imprints. But if I was the only person fighting then I didn't want it nearly as badly as I used to.

Cause I shouldn't be the only one fighting.

If he cared just a bit more then I would be open to it. But I was slowly going down and even though I had already hit rock bottom. You couldn't just deny the fact that all the pushing and fixing came from me. For the first time, I was actually fighting. And I was getting barely any results. The aftermath far too imbedded in our memories that we couldn't forget it, even if we had amnesia.

And I wasn't so sure whether I wanted to forgive him now?

After all, my mother was right. Why bother when he couldn't even bear the sight of me? Thinking about my mother made me wince. God, how couldn't I have seen it coming? Our dad was dead. And she was all alone now, especially since I couldn't have cared less.

This was my fault.

And I had to fix it somehow. So that was what I was going to do. I wanted to know whether I had slipped past the pack. For some reason I doubted it, but perhaps they never saw the possibility of me running _towards_ trouble. After all, I was the biggest chicken they had ever come across.

Yet, I was going to do something incredibly brave. Or stupid. Depended on how you looked at it. I, for one, thought I was doing something good. I was sick of this running around the bushes constantly. I wanted to know why Bryce was doing this to me. To us. To them. Innocent people are dying and if it was because of me I wanted to know the catalyst behind it.

After all, the roles should be reversed. I should be the one trying to get some revenge for all the damage he had caused. Not the other way around. And since the pack was also clueless about his motives then why not use me as bait and lure it out of him.

He wanted me.

And I was here. Alone.

He could have me if he wanted to. He was visibly stronger than some of the pack members. He was able to slip past them unnoticed while leading them on at the same time. So where the hell was he when you wanted him?

I narrowed my eyes as I peered into the darkness.

There was absolutely nothing there. Darkness. Wet. It was so incredibly cold as well. But what else could I expect? It was February. It was always cold. But the one thing that truly bothered me was that there was nothing I could hear. Most of the time I would hear _something_. Anything in fact. Like rustling of the leaves but there was no wind here. Animals, insects. But even those were nowhere to be found. I wasn't sure whether to be relieved that I was this close or scared.

Cause right now, I felt both.

And those weren't two emotions you'd like to mix together because my stomach was up in knots. My throat constricted and adorned with a lovely lump.

"Bryce?" I came to a stop and looked around, my voice small and barely audible. "If you can hear me?" I continued. "Bryce! I know you're here...somewhere."

I turned around and looked up, the thick iced branches hiding the view. I couldn't even see the darkening sky that indicated it was way past evening. I let out a sigh and cleared my throat. I had to sound in control. He would smell fear like a horse and this was supposed to be the way_ I_ wanted it to be. I had to be. There was no other option. I was sick of this game he was playing. He was not going to be the puppet master.

I wasn't going to allow that to happen. Not again. Not ever.

"Bryce!" I cried out again, albeit stronger. "I know you can hear me. You got what you want. I am here and I'm all alone. So come and get me you bastard!"

No sound.

None whatsoever. Perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps he wasn't here, or I wasn't as close as I thought I was. I let out exasperated sigh and turned on my heel. I shouldn't have come here. My attempt at bravery wasn't set for people like me. That was why there were heroes and non-heroes. After all, some were meant to sit by the side and applaud as they walked by. And I knew where I stood. And it wasn't anywhere near the throng of heroes that would pass by the civilians.

As I started to ascend the small hill again a hot hand wrapped itself around mouth and cut off every sound I would want to make. I raised my hands to the arm as another arm wrapped itself around my waist and pulled me off my feet, practically dragging me down the hill.

"You are not the one in charge, Julie." Bryce whispered harshly in my ear and I widened my eyes. So I was right in the first place. He was here. I dropped my hold on his arm and dug my elbow in his stomach. The wall of bricks, that was his stomach, left nothing but a bruise and he only tightened the grip on me even more. "I can make this easy for you. You move, you die." I closed my eyes as he dragged me further inside the hollow darkness that hid in the heart of the forest.

I wasn't quite sure how long it took for him to move me to wherever he wanted but the only thing I remembered where the blurred vision of my tears and the gaps that were in between the times I could keep track of. Eventually he swung me over his shoulder and I took a gasping breath through my mouth, his hand cutting off the oxygen flow before. My hands hung limply and as I watched the dirt ridden forest floor I wracked my brain for ideas.

My urge to be in control was already fading away and I was pretty darn certain that no matter what I did he was in charge. Just like he said. I let out a shuddering breath when suddenly I was swung back over his shoulder and dropped to the floor unceremoniously. The damp earth contacted my back and I was knocked breathless for a while. I blinked at the blackness that tugged at the back of my eyes and moved sideways as Bryce crouched down next to me.

His bare feet were dirty and his jeans stained with grass marks, along with his shirt. I wondered why he had even bothered. I let out a small gasp and tried to move away as I shuffled on my elbows. He grabbed ankle and I muffled a yelp by biting on my lip.

A smile tugged on the corner of his lips. His blue eyes looking down at me. There was no trace of kindness in his eyes. He was all bitter and hard as the hostility only grew.

"What do you want?" I demanded, my voice quivered.

He smirked. "I should be asking you that. After all, weren't you the one looking for me?" I swallowed thickly as the mocking grew.

"Y-yes." I answered. "About that. I have some questions for you." Way to be professional, Julie!

He quirked one of his dark eyebrows, the slight tan in his face barely visible in the darkness. "Any of them worth answering?"

"You tell me?" I quipped back and the mocking disappeared, leaving only pure hatred behind.

"Shoot." He responded briefly.

"Why are you doing this?" I demanded immediately. I wanted to create distant between us but his hand on my ankle had a tight grip so I settled for sitting upright, hoping he would eventually let me go. Though in the back of my mind the possibility of that remained dreadful. Not to mention hopeless. Somehow I knew this was going to end badly.

"Because I need to set the score." He responded.

"What score?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Why the sudden interest?" He inquired and I narrowed my own eyes.

"Well, since you've been the one meddling with my life, I do think you owe me an explanation." His face closed the distance immediately and I was staring at his eyes with a terrified look.

"I owe you nothing." He spat. The resentment shook my insides and a small shiver wracked my frame.

"Then why are you doing this?" I let out a small relieved sigh as the distance grew again, although I did it too soon because he was keeping a watchful eye on me and I was way past uncomfortable.

"I am not the one you should be asking that." He said slowly and for a brief second a flash of pain went through his eyes. Fuelling my curiosity only more.

"Who should I be asking then? You're killing innocent people..." I trailed off. "Because of me!"

"Because of him." He corrected. "You're just the imprint I need to get away with it." He responded and I frowned.

"Who?" I persisted. "Who do you mean?" A flash of dread went through my stomach. Sickening me even more. Suddenly realisation swept through me. "Do you mean Paul?" I wondered out loud, already scared to hear the answer.

"Yes." I closed my eyes briefly before opening them again.

"But why?" I demanded frantically. "Why him? What did he do?" I blinked expectantly when the only answer I got was silence. Somewhere in the background I heard a rustling of leaves. "What does he have to do with everything?"

"He _destroyed_ her." He snarled suddenly. I jumped, startled. "You call them your protectors but they're not _worth_ that title." His expression was furious and I could see the shivers that jumped on the surface of his skin. There was a feral look and I let out a whimper as he tightened the grip on my ankle. He would break it.

"You're hurting me." I whispered. "Let me go."

The grip tightened. "You know _nothing_ about pain." He sneered. "You think your life is horrible now. Just wait for what I have planned for you. He will be begging for death after I'm done with you." I froze.

Suddenly the anger was gone and it made space for sick pleasure as he eyed me carefully. The eyes dragging over my frame. I wanted to hide. "I wasn't planning on doing this now. But I can't prolong the inevitable any longer." He gave me a small grin, one that looked dangerously out of place. He raised his hand and dragged his finger over the length of my face, stopping near the crook of my shoulder. "Such waste." He whispered and now I truly felt the fear pulse through my veins.

It stumped loudly and I fought the tremors that kept fighting to show at the surface. "W-wait." I stammered. "Please don't do this. You don't have to do this." I begged.

"I have waited a long time for this." He answered. "A _very_ long time." My frame froze again. How long did he actually mean?

"How long exactly?" I whispered. He smiled and bent towards me.

"Way before New York." He whispered back and I bit my lip, breaking the skin, to keep in the scream that threatened to escape.

He had planned this. From the start. New York was part of his plan. He had tricked us.

Me.

Paul.

"So that was all part of the plan?" I whispered and Bryce let out a nauseating laugh.

"Oh honey, you have no idea what my plan is." He smirked. "But I'm sure I can give away this. I had never known how easy it was to fool the two of you. Both of you so eager for the bait." He laughed again. The sound chilled me from the inside. "And here we are, four years later." The smile disappeared. "And I will finally get my revenge."

Oh God!

He bore his teeth at me and I let out a scream when suddenly he wrapped his thick hands around my neck, cutting off the sounds that escaped. "Ah ah!" He shook his head playfully. "Remember, I am in charge!" He pointed a finger at himself and the tears were pulled to the ground by gravity.

I could feel the hot hands around my neck all too well. The fingers leaving marks. But I also remembered the snarling that did not come from him. I could hear the rustling of leaves in the background again, although everything was swirling to the background, like the mixing of colours. The mingling of sounds. The blurring of vision. The lack of oxygen. The dread that had taken hold of every inch of my being.

The obvious faults.

Bryce was right.

How eager Paul and I were to be fooled by someone. And now I would never be able to tell him that.

_A/N: Thoughts are thoroughly appreciated, so let me know your thoughts in a review :) They make my day!_

**_IMPORTANT: _**_There is a link on my profile for the Oh Dear Youtube Preview made by the BRILLIANT DanaIsis :) Thanks love!_


	11. It's The Last Catastrophe

_Disclaimer: Yada yada yada. Nothing is mine, now that's settled, let's just continue, shall we?_

_A/N: Not as long as before, but an update nonetheless. I have mid-terms next week and should be studying hard, instead, I was writing this. Talk about lack of discipline :P Anyways, I am going to study after this because I have now gotten this chapter up, which was my intention after all. See, I am able to update soon :) Thank you very much for the reviews, I am glad you guys liked it :) So here is the next chapter and things are unfolding here, pfew! You'll be baffled when this chapter is read :) I promise!_

_Song used **Slow Life** by **Grizzly Bear (And Victoria LeGrand)**_

_It's The Last Catastrophe _

His hand were wrapped tightly around my neck, my pleas for him to stop only hit deaf ears. I could've screamed and it wouldn't matter in any way. I dug my nails into his skin, hoping I could get him off of me, but he was so much stronger than me. I couldn't match up to his power in any way I would want to. Tears blurred my vision and they spilled over, trickling down to the already damp earth. My back was wet as the cold clung to the fabric of my clothes. Somewhere in the distance I could feel the darkness come up. It was sneaking up on me and I had no other choice but to succumb.

My fingers were numbing now. A prickling sensation setting in as the ache of my throat only intensified and spread throughout my whole body. There was a loud buzzing sound that echoed in my ears. It was like turning up the volume of a radio. Growing louder and louder until it was constant. At some point, I had lost track of where my body exactly was. The numbness far too prominent to fight it.

Somewhere in the distance I heard snarling, coming closer and closer. Until it was torn to the side abruptly.

The constricting hands that helped me down were gone. My head tilted to the side and through hazy eyes I could see two massive forms of wolves fighting. So that's where the snarling came from. My thoughts were hazy, sluggish and completely incoherent. Perhaps that's what they meant with slow life.

I wasn't quite sure when my eyes closed but they certainly did. Because ages later, or so it seemed, I could feel this tapping on the side of my face but the energy to react had faded away along with my vision. There was a rustled whisper and I found the pressure on my chest lessen by the second, till it was gone entirely. The silence that hung in the air and penetrated my conscience slowly was heavy and thick. I snapped out of my stupor abruptly as my eyes flung open.

I gasped loudly and coughed as I rolled onto my stomach. I skimmed the space I was holed up at and was surprised to see it completely empty. The silence that was supposed to be there was overruled by my heavy breathing and dry sobs that escaped my mouth. My lips were dry and my throat ached relentlessly.

I was completely alone!

I got onto my feet clumsily and found the world spinning around me. I stumbled and fell into a thick branch that hung low from its tree. I quickly ran my hand through my hair, finding it filled with dirt. I didn't even want to know how I looked like.

Bryce was gone. There wasn't anyone here but me and I realised I was lucky to be alive. He had his mind set at killing me but something intervened with those plans. Or rather said, his attempt at killing me. I just wished I had seen _who _or_ what_ interjected. Instead, I couldn't even remembering being unconscious. I quickly tried to move through the thick throng of trees but the spinning in my head increased and my throat just kept on aching that I barely was able to walk.

Paul.

Where was he? What had he done to this girl Bryce was talking about? Who was she in the first place? What happened? And why does he want to kill me? Just to make Paul hurt? But he barely cared, whatever happened to me wouldn't bother him anymore. It would be a waste of life. And I wasn't just thinking this because I wanted to live.

My eyes darted all over the place and I wondered where in God's name I was. I couldn't recognise anything and nor was I anywhere near the path. I took deep gasping breaths and sank back to my heels, my knees touching the dirty forest floor. I was lost. Alone. Hurt. And close to panicking.

Tears filled my eyes and spilled over.

Why did I thought of going in the first place? Why oh why did I feel the fucking urge to prove myself to him?

I put a hand on my stomach wondering whether the knots were now permanently fixed when I heard something again. I stiffened and my blurry eyes darted all over the place. The ominous trees hung over my frame like pillars, all staking their own claim. The rustling grew and for some reason I just knew it was Bryce. He was coming back to finish the job. It was done. It was over.

The fear was laced with a certain fog that made me sluggish, making it hard to be responsive when suddenly Jacob's face came from the trees. I breathed hard in relief as his face registered me and I could see the shock, worry and anger in his eyes.

"Julie?" He said out loud. Incredulity obvious in his voice. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Tears automatically sprang in my eyes and the sobs tore from my throat.

"Bryce was here." I cried out loudly and I stumbled to my feet as Jacob closed the distance between us in a few strides. He grabbed hold of my arm and the heat was welcomed. "I k-know n-now." I bent over at the waist and Jacob tried to pull me upright.

"Know what?" He demanded furiously. "Julie? What do you know? Where is he now?"

"I don't know." I shook my head as more sobs escaped. My frame was trembling as the relief was so prominent. Jacob was here. Things were going to be alright.

"Julie, breathe! Honey, breathe!" He ordered as he grabbed hold of my arms, forcing me to look in his eyes. "Where is he now?" His dark eyes were so alike Paul's. I shook my head biting my lip until I drew blood.

"I don't know." His eyes skimmed my appearance and then halted on my throat.

"What the hell happened?" I didn't reply and he cursed again.

"Paul's going to fucking kill me." He muttered beneath his breath and hauled me up, keeping me against his side as he started to lead me out of the woods. "Come on, you have no idea in how much trouble you are, Julie!" I stumbled along with him and he tightened his grip till the point it hurt. I never said a word about that.

"What did he say to you?" Jacob demanded. His jaw was tightened and his eyes darted all over the place, finding foes where they were.

"H-he was m-mumbling about this g-girl." I heaved. "S-something that h-happened years ago." Tears kept rolling. "It was a-all a set-up!" I cried out. "He had i-it all planned from New York t-till I was here." All those years.

Jacob's head snapped to me. "What?"

"You better get her out of here." Another voice replied and I shrieked as Jacob grabbed me around the waist and pushed me behind his back. My hands curled into his bare arms. I knew he barely felt it.

The tall, dark stranger with the light eyes had caught us off guard and I wondered how that was possible with Jacob here. And I knew Jacob was thinking the exact same thing because I could feel him try to control his anger. The quivering barely there, just a small hum beneath his skin.

"Don't worry. I'm on your side." The stranger held up his hands and shot us a smile that we misread as a smirk.

"Come on, Leah." Jacob whispered beneath his breath and the stranger laughed.

"The grey wolf, I presume?" The stranger guessed, a strange gleam in his eyes. "I passed her minutes ago. She might be catching up on me. Fast, little thing she is."

Jacob tensed. "If you touched her I swear to God, I'll tear your fucking limbs out!" He growled.

"Relax. I'm one of the good guys. I promise. My name is Jason." He held out his hand but Jacob didn't take it. Jason merely rolled his eyes and took back his hand. "Right, no manners." Jacob stiffened.

"What do you want?" Jacob demanded.

Jason shrugged. "I think you should get Julie out of here. I could only mislead Bryce for a little while. He might be coming back for her." A bile rose in my throat and an involuntary whimper escaped my mouth.

"Seems as if you know something we don't." Jacob commented sharply and Jason let out a sigh.

"Well, yeah. He is my alpha!" I blinked stunned. "But I think we shouldn't discuss this here." He nudged his head towards me and I snapped.

"You know why Bryce wants me." I exclaimed loudly and I pushed myself out of Jacob's grip. "You know what happened all those years ago!" I claimed and Jason's smile disappeared. A frown replacing it.

"Yeah, I do." He retorted stiffly. "But not here. I'll meet you at your place." Jason turned around but not before commenting. "And tell your little Beta to not follow me. We wouldn't want her to get hurt, would we?" I knew he meant Leah and Jacob growled as Jason shifted into the same animal I saw in my dream, the only difference was the colour in furs. His a brown.

As Jason left the two of us, I found myself swaying. I realised I was holding in my breath and I exhaled loudly. Dark spots colouring my vision. I stumbled backwards into Jacob. I could hear him mutter profanities.

This surely changed every single thing!

_**XXXXXX**_

My legs felt numb as we moved quicker than I realised. Heading towards Emily and Sam's. Jacob kept muttering things but at some point I tuned him out. My head spinning with enough information. So I wasn't to blame anyways. That I already knew, somewhere. But I never acted upon it. Paul's oblique mannerism contradicting my thoughts constantly. At some point, even my words couldn't affect Paul. My actions the only thing that made a remote change in him. He cared when I found that body. But he didn't care enough to pull me out of it in the first place. Everything was laced with two-faced thoughts I wasn't quite sure which one was genuine and which one was a facade.

The trees thinned out again and after walking for hours, or so it felt that way, Jacob and I were back in the clearing in front of Sam's house. Leah was waiting for us and there was a thick scowl on her pretty face. I hadn't seen her in a very long time.

"Why didn't you let me follow them?" Leah demanded the second she saw Jacob. "I could've seen where they were going!"

"Them?" Jacob asked sharply and Leah frowned before nodding.

"Yeah, there were several."

"Shit." Jacob scowled and her and he placed his hand on his neck. "We have to tell Sam." She rolled her eyes.

"Naturally." She then turned her eyes on me and gave me a brief smile. "Julie." She acknowledged and I smiled back weakly. "Let's get her inside, she looks like she's going to crack." She gave me a small look before turning around and Jacob pushed me to follow her.

"Come on." He murmured and I let out a deep breath that seemed to be stuck in my throat.

_**XXXXXX**_

"Julie!" Paul exclaimed loudly as he barged inside. The door slammed open and I could faintly hear the rain beat against the window as Emily pushed a hot cup of tea in my hands. Too shocked to react the heavy cup fell out of my hands and shattered on the floor, along with the contents that were now sprawled all over the floor. I had pushed myself backwards and my hipbone bumped into the kitchen cabinet.

Paul's eyes were frantic and full of worry as he grabbed hold of my arms. "What the fuck were you thinking?"

"Hey!" Jacob intervened as he pushed Paul's hands off of me. "Back off!" He growled and Paul narrowed his eyes.

"Whatcha gonna do?" Paul demanded as he pushed against Jacob's chest and I quickly intervened grabbing hold of Paul's arm and pushing him away from Jacob.

"Stop!" I ordered them. "Please!" I added. Paul glared at Jacob for a brief second before turning his eyes on me and turning around. I smiled apologetically at Jacob who merely shook his disapprovingly.

"Why is it that every single time I leave you out of my sight you manage to get yourself in a shitload of trouble?" Paul barked angrily. "Can't you keep yourself safe for a few fucking minutes?"

"Paul!" Emily chastised. "Not now!"

"When is Sam coming?" Leah asked bored. It was obvious the whole situation wasn't doing much to her. Her eyes skimmed over Jacob's frame lazily and I wondered what it meant.

"He'll be here soon." Jacob replied and he turned his eyes to Leah who had conveniently turned her own eyes away now.

"Jason is coming too, remember?" I pointed out and Jacob's eyes fell on me now.

"Who's Jason?" Paul demanded as he got in the line of fire and I turned my eyes to him.

"Why don't you tell me?" I demanded. "And tell me what happened years ago?"

Paul looked at me incomprehensively. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't lie!" I cried out.

"Julie!" Jacob pulled me back into the couch as I realised I was standing up now. "Let's just wait." He told me pointedly before moving outside. "I'll be outside."

"Who's Jason?" Paul demanded again. And I scrunched my eyes shut. I could feel his warmth as he stood near my frame. I felt his fingers lay a track on my throat. "What happened?" He asked more gently and the moment broke as Leah snorted.

"I'm going to join, Jake." She commented before rolling her eyes. Paul ignored her and as I skimmed the house for Emily I realised she had left too.

Great, I was all alone now. With Paul!

Fuck!

"Julie?" He said my name again. "What happened?" He repeated and I shrugged.

"You know, the usual." I began dryly. "Got myself into a mess. Again." I ran my hand through my hair and realised that my throat hurt like a bitch. Every word I said sent little stabbings down my throat.

"Why'd you go to him?" He insisted and I turned my eyes to Paul. To say I was shocked, was an understatement, as I saw concern in his eyes. Why did he care? What did he gain with this pretence?

"Because I had to know, okay?" I exclaimed loudly. "I had to know why he was doing this! And you know what?" I turned my hands to him and pushed his chest. "It's because of you!" His eyes widened in shock.

"Me?"

"Yes, _you!_" I continued. "You did something to this girl and I can only guess what that is! Fortunately, I'm going to find out the truth sooner rather than later." I finished and glared at him. He grabbed hold of my wrists.

"What do you mean?"

"Bryce is an alpha." I muttered coolly. "His pack however, is not on his side. They're coming here."

I wasn't sure what to think of Paul's expression. It held confusion, puzzlement, disbelief but also relief. And I wondered what could possibly make him feel relieved? They were going to tell me something that was all on Paul. Something he did. Basically, I wasn't the one to blame. It was him. Or, not just me. But also him.

"What?" The anger returned full-fledged. "They're coming here!"

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "They'll be here any second." I tried to move past him but he grabbed my arm and pulled me against his side.

"You're not going!" He said firmly.

"The hell I am!" I gritted out. Paul glared at me and clenched his jaw tightly. The tendons of his muscles stuck out prominently against his russet skin and another pang in my stomach made me realise how much physical attraction there always was between the two of us.

"Why can't you just do as your told?" He growled. His eyes were on me when suddenly they widened and he turned his head to the front door. I frowned. What was that all about? He turned around. "Stay here." He ordered firmly and he quickly walked to the front door.

I narrowed my eyes at his frame before quickly following suit. There was no chance in hell I wasn't going with him. As the cold air slapped me in the face as I walked outside, the first thing I truly noticed was the fact that Sam was already there. Flanked by Jacob and Paul. Leah was standing behind Jacob, her posture tense as all of them peered into the dark forest. It was just now, that I realised it was rather late in the evening. I quickly descended the stairs and moved towards the four pack members.

Suddenly, three figures appeared, now fully able to be distinguished as human beings. Or rather said, shape-shifters. I blinked lazily and took a step forward when suddenly Paul grabbed my arm and pulled me behind him.

"What did I say about not leaving the house?" He gritted out. His eyes weren't on me though. He was fully focused on the obvious leader. Jason. Although I knew for a fact that he wasn't an alpha. Right?

And was that the remaining pack?

"You can't tell me what to do." I whispered harshly and I snatched my arm out of his grip. A flash of hurt stabbed my stomach as I registered those exact feelings in his eyes, but I pushed it aside. Not now.

Not here.

"Is that all?" I heard Sam ask. And Leah snorted again.

"As far as I know. Yeah. That's all." She responded with an edge in her voice. Her eyes flitted across Sam's form before turning her eyes back to the three shape shifters who were now close enough to talk.

"What do you want?" Sam asked calmly. Although I could see the distress in his eyes. We were the only one not knowing what was going on. Or at least, not fully informed.

"We need your help." Jason replied. His blue eyes fell on me and he gave me a brief nod. I didn't respond.

"Help?" Sam echoed. "With what?"

"Bryce." The shape shifter on the left replied. They looked exactly the same. Only his eyes were dark. As were the others.

"He's our alpha." Jason supplied. "Only, it seems he has lost his way." And again his eyes fell on me. I took a step backwards.

"He's the one that killed on our land!" Leah stated loudly and Jason hesitated before nodding. Paul cursed.

"Why aren't you helping him?" Jacob asked sharply. "If he's your alpha you should be obeying his orders." Jason shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. It was now, that I actually saw how animalistic their appearances were. Cut off shorts, not shirt, mud clinging to every inch of exposed skin. Their hair askew. They had been here too.

"We haven't obeyed his orders ever since he killed on your land." The other one replied again. I frowned.

"How long has that been going on?" I asked. And I glanced at Paul. However, it was the one of the right, that hadn't spoken yet, that replied.

"Doesn't she know?" He asked. The frown on his face prominent as it marred his forehead. He let out a scoffing laugh. "The mate doesn't know."

"Then why don't you fill me in?" I snapped. "Since you're so well informed." He rolled his eyes.

"Don't mind Darren." Jason said as he shook his head. "He has a tendency to put his foot in his mouth." Darren scowled.

"Then why don't you teach him to articulate around it?" Paul hissed and I knew right away they would be such great friends.

Darren snarled and put a step forward but Jason held his arm out and pushed him backwards. "Paul." Sam's voice was low but full of authority.

"We're not here to fight." The last one, whose name we didn't know, responded. "You need our help and we need yours."

"Who said we need your help?" Sam asked sharply.

"They don't know yet, Mitch." Jason told him. I frowned.

"Tell us!" I demanded. Paul took a step forward.

"What don't we know?" He asked, the threat in his voice apparent.

"That our alpha is after your bitch!" Darren exclaimed loudly. "Because his imprint died on _your_ land!"

His imprint died? My eyes widened as I turned my eyes to Paul who seemed to be frozen in his footsteps.

"Five years ago, there was a vampire attack!" Darren continued. "Here, and one of _our_ people got bitten when she visited La Push." So that's who Bryce was talking about. But if she got bitten, didn't that mean that she was a vampire. And didn't shape-shifters kill them?

Oh God!

He had to kill her!

"And you killed her!" Darren pointed his finger at Paul and my throat constricted. The panic was now swept all across my body like a wave. I turned my head to him. He had to kill a vampire! That was an imprint.

"She was a leech!" Paul cried out. "We had no choice! You would have to do the exact same thing!"

"Yes." Jason intervened as he took a step forward and shot Darren a reproachful look. "And we don't blame you! But it's not how Bryce sees it. In his eyes you killed his imprint. And now he wants you to suffer the same way he did. The way he's still suffering."

"He lost his imprint?" I echoed weakly and I took a step forward.

"He went through a lot of trouble to ruin things between the two of you." Mitch supplied. "And you two made things only easier by falling for it."

I tried to take a deep breath but there was far too much pressure on my chest that didn't lessen. I felt I was back in the forest again. Bryce's hands curled around my throat, squeezing the life out of me. Somewhere in the distant I heard Sam's voice as he replied and I stumbled against Paul's frame. My hands trying to find something steady to hold on to. But my hands were numb again. The prickling sensation coming back like a tidal wave and hit me much harder and fiercer this time. I blinked a few times, the dark spots in my vision taking more space than before.

Now we knew why Bryce was here. Why he was doing what he was doing. Killing people for a cause his own. For something that no one actually could've stopped, since it wasn't our fault. Paul had killed a vampire. Something he was made to do. But he never took in account that she actually had a life before she became one. The fact that she turned out to be a imprint was merely a coincidence. But now knowing what it meant for me, for us, it changed every single thing.

Bryce's pain was in some ways connected to ours. Because we felt the same loss. Only his was permanent. And ours, well we could reconcile if we wanted to. But like Bryce said. We were such an easy target. Falling for every single opening that he had planned. Believing every lie he had planted. The roots only growing thicker and stronger.

How easy where we, in fact? To have believed everything that wasn't true. How easy could we have been lead towards our own destruction?

I could faintly hear Paul's voice in the distance as his hot hands curled around my arms. His grip tighter than anything I had ever felt. There wasn't much what I heard afterwards. My knees already giving out under the pressure as I registered Paul's inaudible words echo loudly in my ears.

_A/N: I hope you guys liked it :) I think next chapter will be in Paul's POV. Which I always love to write :) So hopefully you guys will review, because I love to hear from you! :) _

_P.S Have you checked out the preview for Oh Dear's trailer that DanaIsis made? It's on my ffpage. Check it out! It's so worth it :D_


	12. I'm A Woman, Be A Man Now

**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own anything at all. All is owned by Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Saga._

**A/N:**_ First of all, I'm so incredibly sorry for the long wait. I lost my muse, more than just once and when my laptop crashed and took all the work I had finished and not yet posted with it, I got into a rut. Anyhow, I'm back and with new ideas and all. Especially since I got... -Insert Drumrolls!- **NOMINATED FOR THE TWINKLINGS WALK OF FAME AWARDS FOR DANGER DIVA AUTHOR :D** You guys have no idea how happy that makes me. I never been nominated for ANYTHING before :O So if you guys would please take your time to vote, the link is on my ff page :) I would really appreciate it._

_Furthermore, I'd like to thank all you lovely reviewers out there. You make me feel good about the fact I'm writing this instead of studying for my mid-terms. Then again, you guys deserved it because almost four months of no updates is even a record for me :O Anyhow, enough of the yapping, please enjoy this slightly shorter chapter :)_

_Song used **How** by** Maroon 5**_

_**I'm A Woman, Be A Man Now**_

_The back of my eyelids tinged a soft mandarin colour. Soft, yet incredibly prominent. It was then that my subconscious lifted the strawberry pie fog and I found myself lying on a bed. One that was white and overruled every colour I had ever seen. The light in the room was bright and as I fluttered my eyes and shifted to my side, I realised I wasn't alone. I quickly turned around and was surprised to see Paul's frame lying next to me. He was sprawled out like a king on this bed. His massive limbs all tangled in the sheets, as if he had been fighting with them and they had won. A lump arose in my throat and I gulped._

_If this was a dream, it was a good one._

_I laid my head on the pillow, my hand on his bare back as it was turned to me. He was still hot to the touch and I could see the hard planes of his muscles, shifting as he moved to turn to me. _

"_Care to tell me why you're up at this ungodly hour?" Paul's voice was gruff. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close. His warmth jumping onto my skin. Like little specks of rain, until it covered every inch of your exposed self. I rested my forehead against his chin and felt his soft breath on my hair, rustling the stray strands._

_Perhaps he was surprised because he raised his head and peered at me. His eyes thoughtful, wondering what went on in that head of mine. Something he never truly understood. I sighed and raised my hand, my fingers trailing down his jaw. I was struck by the reality of it all and I immediately felt a headache set in. _

"_Jules?" The question in his voice pulling me back to him again and I smiled. _

"_Sorry." I apologised. "Couldn't sleep." Paul nodded carefully, his eyes still scrutinising me. _

_Suddenly the door opened and the two of us turned to see a small black-haired girl with big brown eyes move inside. I could see her walk on her toes and when our eyes met her smile grew. _

"_Mommy!" She exclaimed loudly and she pulled herself onto the bed and jumped on top of Paul. Paul let out a grunt of shock and grabbed hold of the small girl. _

"_Fiona!" Paul exclaimed. "What did I tell you about jumping on daddy?" Fiona let out a small sigh and crossed her arms. I then noticed the grey stuffed wolf. The exact colour Paul was._

"_Sowwy, but I hawd a bawd dweam." Her speech was childish, her soft tingly voice running down my spine as I glanced at the beautiful girl. _

_Did she call me mommy?_

_Paul frowned and settled her on his chest. "What kind of dream, sweetheart?" She shrugged and dropped her eyes to her wolf before lying down on Paul's chest and wrapping her arms around his chest. _

"_The bawd wulf cwame and tuk mommy away agaiwn." _

"_Baby, mommy isn't going anywhere. Look! Mommy's here." Paul's voice was incredibly soft as he ran his hand through Fiona's hair and her brown eyes struck me. I felt I was looking into the mirror. _

_Was she truly mine?_

"_Jules?" Paul's voice was hesitant and I could see he was waiting for the reassurance I was about to provide. I gave Fiona a gentle smile before moving closer to that little bundle of love._

"_Mommy's here." I murmured and I put my hand on her cheek, rubbing away the tracks of tears that were still there. "I'm not going anywhere." _

"Julie?" A hot hand on my upper arm as the cold seeped from underneath. I snapped my eyes open and was confronted with the dark grey sky, that seemed so overpowering, as if it was lowering itself down to me. I blinked a few times, trying to get the sharp blurs back into distinctive colours that were recognisable.

"Where is she?" I hadn't even realised I had said that out loud when Sam's face came in view.

"Julie? You with us?" Ignoring what Sam said I pulled myself into a sitting position, Sam's hands still on my shoulders, steadying me when necessary.

"Y-yeah." I stammered as I looked around. We were in front of Sam's house, the clearing empty except for us. I turned my eyes back to Sam. "Where is everyone?" Sam clenched his jaw and hauled me back to my feet, I leant against his shoulder as my head spun.

"Let's get you inside, first." Sam muttered as he pulled me into the direction of his house. I let him drag me inside.

"But where's Paul?"

_**XXXXXXXXXXXX**_

**Paul POV**

The fire burning at the back of my spine came swiftly. I didn't even have the resistance to withhold it for just a few more minutes. I didn't want Julie to be in the middle of it, but as I held onto her forearms as her whole frame leant against me, falling limp, I did the only thing I could do. Explode, quite literally. Sam barely had the time to shield Julie from my transformation. One second I was seeing red and the next I was already on my four paws chasing after the thing that created this fucking mess.

I could see the cocky smirk on that bastards face before he phased as well. His transformation so different from ours. We exploded and they, they changed. Their limbs stretching and shifting into their wolf form.

I ignored Sam's outrageous cry as both Jason and Mitch moved away as Darren ran towards me in full view. I knew he was itching for a fight just as I was.

I quickened my pace and bared my teeth, snarls of frustration escaping my mouth. If I wasn't human it would've been curses that my mother would've been embarrassed of. I growled and pushed myself off my feet into a jump. My teeth digging into Darren's black fur. Our snarls were deafening and no matter what the consequences were I was going to enjoy it to the fullest.

Both Jason and Mitch were now phasing into their form as I heard Jake and Leah phase too. As I kept on biting, breaking and snarling I realised that this pathetic show of a pack wasn't that strong as they claimed. I narrowed my eyes as Darren retaliated and I was slammed into the ground with a roar I didn't even recognise. Perhaps not as weak as I first anticipated.

I heard Jake and Leah's snarls from a distance as they both chased Mitch and Jason into the trees, but Darren remained. And that said it all for me. I bent through my paws, lowering to the ground so I'd be able to jump swiftly when suddenly I heard a loud howl break through the barrier of sound that used to be there. Both Darren and I froze and he turned his dark eyes to mine, narrowing them slightly, his disgust obvious before letting out a low growl and turning around, fleeing the scene with his tail between his legs.

"_Follow him."_ Jake's voice sounded hollow in my head as I just now realised that no one of _my_ pack was in their wolf form. Cursing Jake's ability to get into my head as alpha I did as he told me to and the three of us followed the faint track that they had stupidly left behind.

I still heard Sam's voice bellowing, telling us to come back. Though I knew better, if he truly wanted us to come back he'd give me an alpha order. But since he was able to keep that part out of his tone of demand, I knew that he I was merely doing something he wished he could be doing. I swung my head backwards to see Sam put his hand on Julie's forehead. She was pale, even I could see that from all the way here. I pushed away all the rational thoughts.

Even with Julie unconscious I would be the last thing on this earth she would want to see. After all, she was right all along and now we had finally gotten the proof.

Somehow, in Bryce's sick mind he thought of a plan. One that was solely focused on destroying my imprint because I did what we were made to do. If I had known, of course, I would've hesitated to kill his imprint. But the fact remained I didn't. Fuck, she was just a goddamn leech. That was all. Should I've questioned her before? Was that what he expected of us? The fact that Bryce couldn't even wrap his head around it proved the fact he was too far gone.

And I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Because it was my fault that we were in this mess. How had they put it? Oh yeah, _so fucking eager to be fooled._

And it was nothing more but the truth. I was fucking eager to be fooled. Technically I was waiting on them, anyone for that matter, to prove that having a relationship with a shape-shifter was dangerous. Look at what happened to Emily. But even I wasn't that selfless to put all the blame on me. Hell, fucking Bryce walked in, a few well chosen words and damn, it all spun out of control.

My eyes would still burn every single time I thought of what happened between Bryce and Julie. That was, before I actually knew _what_ happened.

Nothing.

Julie's fears of not knowing were now put at ease. She now knew that she was right. And she has a scapegoat now. If I went back, I would have to bear all the things that would be thrown at me. I deserved, hell I deserved more than just a few insults thrown into my face.

Another rush of anger went through me.

What had I gotten myself into?

I felt torn, not knowing what to do because right now everything I did would be wrong. Bad. Unworthy of being trusted. Like usual. Because that's what everyone fucking expected of me. To fuck up because I had the ability to not trust anyone. Hell I didn't even trusted myself.

I just needed a reason to point out that everyone was like me. Untrustworthy.

I could see Jacob's russet form in front of me. Flanked by none other than Leah, who seemed uncannily small next to Jake. Not to mention the colour difference. Him a dark russet whereas Leah was a paler grey then mine own. I let out a throaty growl. One that reverberated in my chest as I realised that we were being watched. Point is, who was watching us? I met Jake's eye and I could see the silent demand to stay put.

"_Can you see them?_"I thought, hoping that Jacob would be able to hear me.

"_No. Fuck. We need to find them."_ Jacob stated. Well done Sherlock, I thought.

I turned on my paws and swiftly searched for something out of place. But I couldn't hear anything but the usual silence, with an addition of our own soft breaths. I strained my ears, if I did my hardest I could hear the cars on the highway, near the woods. But that had to be at least several miles away from this.

"_They're gone."_

_**XXXXX**_

My feat felt like bricks. Massive bricks hanging on a loose thread, just waiting to snap and fall on top of my feet. The short walk from the clearing to Sam's house had never felt this bad. Even when I just knew there'd be an alpha command on the other side of Sam's front door waiting on me. Something I couldn't possible agree with. It all paled in comparison with this. And that said something. Though I couldn't tell you what it meant. My head felt as if it would explode. My heart was already tattering on the verge of shattering.

Hell, take my sanity with it. There wasn't much left anyways.

I was literally dragging my feet. One part of be couldn't wait to get inside, just to see whether Julie was alright. Another part, the more prominent one, wanted to go far, far away. My first instinct in saving Julie would be to leave. Keep her away from it all, but right now I couldn't do that. I had to do the exact opposite. Keep her as near me as possible, because I had to protect her. Even if she didn't want it to. I had to do the things I should've done before. The time she ran into the woods to keep me at bay. The time she actually went to Bryce, which also happened to be in the forest.

God, Julie had a massive bulls eye painted on her back and she was as oblivious as ever. Why? Because her fucking masochistic behaviour will have me killed.

What seemed like ages, we finally reached the front door and both Jake and Leah just moved inside without a care in the world. Or so it seemed because I found myself trailing behind them with my tail between my legs.

She was on the couch with a blanket around her small frame, surrounded by everyone.

I was on the other side of the room, barely even noticed.

_**XXXXXX**_

**Julie POV**

I knew that Paul didn't want to be noticed.

And there wasn't a part of me that felt somewhat sympathetic towards him. The fact he ran after those who were supposed to help us had me on edge. I couldn't understand why he would do such a thing. Instead of befriending them, he drove them away.

I focused on my hands as Sam started his rage on Paul. I didn't even want to look at them, fear I'd be persuaded to feel otherwise. Fear that I might begin to feel emphatic and start wanting that dream as my reality. I clenched my fist in return.

I would not convince myself of the fact that what I was doing was right, but I was not going to convince myself into telling it was okay either. Things weren't okay, the exact opposite. Everything was crashing down. Falling apart and we were stuck in the middle of it all.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Sam bellowed. "Paul, do you have any idea what could've happened?" Sam didn't even wait for a response. "You could've hurt Julie by phasing that close to her. Not to mention the fact that we were on a negotiating point with Jason's pack!"

"Well what the fuck did you want me to do? Just stand there and let them throw the goddamn accusations around? Was that what you wanted me to do?"

"That was not the point, Paul! Their immaturity had nothing to do with you." Sam threw back. "You couldn't keep your temper under control for one fucking moment." Sam never cursed. He didn't have to. So I suppose this was more than just one tiny little problem.

"It's so fucking easy to blame me for something all of you wanted to do." Paul yelled back. I snapped my head to Paul and saw the raw anger shimmering in his eyes. His fist were balled besides him, the tendons of his muscles sticking out rather prominently. "Just because you didn't have the balls to do it doesn't mean you can throw it all on me now."

"Your first priority in all this was supposed to be Julie." I could see the change in air. The way everyone was beginning to become uncomfortable. Both Jake and Leah were holding themselves away from the fight because I knew, just as they did, that their share was yet to come. They didn't want to inflict indirect damage before they could defend themselves properly. Though I wish I could smack that fucking smirk off Leah's face.

"She's your imprint, for God's sake!" I flinched as Sam pulled me into the fight.

"Yeah and we can see she's all wound up about that." Paul retorted bitterly.

"Regardless-" Sam began but I cut him off.

"Hey!" I interjected. "Don't do me any favours. You don't owe me anything, alright. The fact you wanted to follow them and get yourself killed, fine by me. I don't care. Alright? You can do whatever it is you want because I'll be damned you putting this all of on me." I was wound up. More than anything but I my heart was on my sleeve and I just couldn't stop. "I won't give you all the credit though, it's partly my fault too. For thinking you could even have the ability to understand what's going on." I pushed away the blanket Emily had given me and stumbled to my feet, only to be grabbed my Sam as he steadied me.

And now the tears came.

"You don't have to do anything." I whispered. "I don't want you to."

I t must've stung badly. Because Paul's eyes peered into mine and I felt as if our pain was being mingled. Mixed and poured all around us. We were stuck in the middle, like usual, a mess created by ourselves.

Things had become more than just complicated. I wanted him to take me back, forget something I hadn't even done. Then the truth came to light and I realised that if I had to go through hell just to make him realise that perhaps he wasn't worth it at all. After all, weren't we as imprints supposed to have this the easy way? No messing around, no fucking up things that weren't supposed to be fucked up. An apple pie life. Normal, despite the fact Paul could turn into a large wolf. We were supposed to have it easy.

Yet we've managed to do the exact opposite.

"Stop victimising yourself." Paul muttered. "You want to tell me what I did was wrong and that you were right. That I should've listened to you in the first place. I know that, alright? I fucking know that." He raised his arms in the air, imitating defeat. "The fact you don't want to trust me, hell I can understand that. But don't you fucking dare making this into your stupid soap operas. You want a confession out of me. Then this is what you'll get." Paul continued. His eyes staring down at me as he harshly told me what lay on his shoulders. "I'll take full responsibility for what happened with Bryce and I'll even let you gloat in the meantime. You can have all you masochistic fun on me. Do whatever it is you want to do. But don't you dare come into this with your bullshit. Alright?" I blinked as tears brimmed over, staining my cheeks. "I'll protect you. For as long as it's necessary. And you're not going to do anything about it."

No, I mentally screamed. He was going to do this his way again. Wriggle himself into my life and I shook my head steadily. Ignoring the fact I was still crying. "Don't I get a say in this?" I turned to look at Sam who was staring at Paul instead. "No!" I cried out. "I don't want your protection."

"I guess you'll have to make do with me, Jules. Because I'm not going to let you out of my sight."

And there it was. The barrier that was blocking my escape. And I couldn't do anything about it.

I raised my head to Paul and a flicker of something I thought had died long ago with our relationship rekindled its fire.

I guess we were back at square one again. With a whole new sleeve to explore.

**A/N:**_ Let's see where this will go, shall we :D Please let me know your thoughts and vote for the Twinklings awards :) Next update will be soon :) I promise!_


	13. My Love Has Concrete Feet

**Disclaimer:**_ I do not own anything but the plot and the characters you do not recognise. The rest is owned by Stephenie Meyer._

**A/N:** _So sorry for the delay. I keep saying that but I'm not truly working on my update skills. But ah well, it's here now and I might as well stop trying to explain myself ;) Thank you very much for your support I can't believe that I've been doing these series for almost two years now :O I hope you guys will like this chapter, I did for some odd reason. Normally I don't like what I write :P But I was happy with the way it turned out to be. You guys may not like the turn of events, or you might! Depends how you look at it. But let's say that there are loads of explanations left to be explained! And they will come next chapter. But first, some Paul and Julie interaction :) Enjoy!_

_Song used **Heavy In Your Arms** by** Florence And The Machine**_

**My Love Has Concrete Feet**

If there was one way to explain everything I would've taken that shot in a heartbeat. But I couldn't even give an explanation for why I was feeling as if the world was crashing around me let alone explain what was to come. Paul had taken the liberty to pull his macho bullshit on me. I had no say in it at all and it made me wonder how I could've fallen for him in the first place. He had all this pent up resentment towards anyone who messed up once. He'd put them on this list full of traitors and keep that facade of being a male bitch. And I never ever had a say in it.

It was tough, not to mention unimaginable for others to wonder where the attraction then came from. Was it the imprint? Was that why I was attracted to him, because his stupid wolf genes picked me as his "mate" and I had no other choice but to react upon that.

Maybe this was our way of breaking the imprint. Destroy the relationship and gone is the imprint. If that's how it went then Rachel could have him. There was no place for someone like me in _my_ life and I doubted he felt the same way.

I rather have my heart broken than try to be a part of something that never belonged to me in the first place.

But that was easier said than done. I knew that deep down, when all of this hadn't happened yet, there was a fire that burned specifically for him. No one else could spark that fire and even if they were able to cheat me on that, it would die out soon. Maybe that's what's happening right now. My fire is dying because I am so incredibly broken. But at least I wasn't alone. If I was falling to parts then I was taking Paul as well. And right now, I was holding his hand so tightly that breaking him down was an easy feature to accomplish.

"I don't want this." I murmured. I was next to Paul in his car and I was surprised that so much could happen in only 48 hours. It was like a roller coaster. I've had my fair share of danger for the rest of my life. I was completely done right now. I could live with a boring, apple pie life _if_ something positive came out from this.

I strongly doubted it though.

"Yeah, well too bad!" Paul responded sharply. "Because you're coming with me." I rolled my eyes and rested my elbow against the window.

"You're an asshole." I stated simply and I dared to look at him through the corner of my eye. I could see a smirk tug at the corner of his lips but besides that his face was passive. His eyes dead for everyone to see.

"Heard that one before, sweetheart." I narrowed my eyes at the patronising tone. "Now, care to contribute something useful?" I raised my eyebrows and huffed.

I could feel it in the air. Despite both of our heartbreak, there was tension, so fucking thick I was surprised it wasn't smothering us yet. Though I was sort of expecting it to jump us in a matter of time. I bet we wouldn't have any defences up for _that_.

I turned my eyes back to Paul and noticed the thick blue bruise like circles beneath his eyes. Was he truly that exhausted? Or was he just overreacting. I wouldn't put it past him to pull this victim nonsense. I closed my eyes and flinched. I was incredibly harsh and rude for reasons that were there and no one could hold me accountable if I did lash out like that. But was it easier for me to lash out or was it easier to try and put it behind me. Because fixing things were out of the questions. I was not going to try and become a man. They were always so keen on fixing things. If he wanted to fix it, he would. But he wasn't, so that says enough.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked Paul casually. From now on, I was going to polite. Because politeness and distance could hurt someone far more than being far too eager for a fight.

Paul glanced at me surprised. "My place." He replied shortly. "From there on we'll try to figure things out."

I hummed in response. So they were still trying to protect me. I guess I should be grateful they wanted me alive. Though I could think of a few names that wouldn't mind me dying.

"Can I ask you something?" I turned my attention to Paul. "Why do you want to protect me so badly?" I asked him bluntly. "As far as I know, you could care less to what happens to me?" I know Rachel would be.

I could see Paul clench his jaw as his fists were tightly wrapped around the steering wheel. Perhaps I should've picked out a less hazardous moment to say things like this. But I was truly curious.

"Or am I imagining things?" I filled in, trying to coax a reaction out of him.

"You and your fucking need to be suicidal." Paul hissed. "I am trying to protect you because if I didn't you'd waltz back to Bryce and sacrifice yourself. You're so alike Bella Swan when it comes to the people you love." I narrowed my eyes.

"I don't love you." I threw at him but Paul scoffed.

"Course you don't!" He hissed back. "But still, doesn't change things. I am keeping you safe because someone has to!"

"Oh!" I raised my eyebrows. "You don't owe me anything!" I told him simply. "And I don't care if I'm like Bella Swan." Paul raised his eyes. "I did what I had to do."

"You were an idiot, Julie!" Paul replied. "A gigantic idiot, if you had just told anyone of us we could've pulled something off, instead you tried your hand at heroism. Look how that worked out for you!"

"I did it for us!" I yelled. His words hurt me more than I thought they would. I knew this, I knew how Paul felt. But it was still a stab in the back and he kept twisting that damn knife as his life depended on it. Cause mine specially did.

Paul turned his eyes to me. His brown orbs burning in a familiar way. "You did it for us?" He repeated monotonously. "What possessed you to do something so fucking idiotic?" Paul demanded. "You could've died, Jules!"

I crossed my arms across my chest. "And here I thought you'd shed a tear when that'd happen." Paul stepped on the brakes and I screamed as I felt my body swing forwards, only being held back by the seatbelt.

"How many times do I have to tell you?" Paul barked. "I don't want you to die!"

Feeling my chest constrict I decided to keep my mouth shut, fearing that I would say something that would set him off. And I most certainly didn't want him to phase in his car. I'd have that on my head as well.

"I don't want to either." I confessed and turned my head away.

Paul started the car again and we found ourselves in the middle of a silence. One that I did not particularly like that much. It was filled with awkwardness and most definitely hurt me more than I thought. I knew that Paul didn't want me to try and honestly, despite what Paul thinks, I did not have a death wish. Sometimes you just feel you have to do things and I had to do this because if I didn't, someone else was bound to get hurt.

And that would've been selfish.

So either way, it's never okay, because I'm always something I do not claim to be, whether it's positive or negative. Though it mostly has a predisposition to negativity.

As Paul's house neared I found myself feeling more uncomfortable than ever. Here I was, stuck in that one house that I never wanted to see again. And of course I had to stay there for the time being. I let out a sigh as Paul turned off the engine and got out of the car. He already was on my side as I slammed the door shut. His heat radiating like a fire that made my head spin.

"What are we going to do?" I asked Paul cautiously. I wasn't sure how to approach this.

"Do what, Julie?" Paul sounded exasperated and that bugged me immensely.

"You know what I'm talking about." I retorted. "So drop the oblivious routine, it's pissing me off."

Paul didn't reply as I followed him up the patio.

He opened the front door and pushed me inside.

"So this is how it's going to be?" I asked out loud as I stepped inside. The warmth insides seemed to seep into every pore of my being and tingled. I kept my eyes on Paul as he turned on the lights and I finally saw the exterior of his house.

We were in the living room, and though it had been years since I last been here, I was glad to see that there were some changes. His wooden floor matched his furniture and though there were all the necessary things present, his house screamed bachelor. I guess it just had to do with the fact that men did not know how to make a house homey. I turned my eyes back to Paul, focusing on him only. His shoulders sagged as his eyes met mine.

"What's going to be?" He asked lamely. I narrowed my eyes.

"Don't act stupid with me. You know what the hell I'm talking about." I hissed and I crossed my arms across my chest.

"No, I don't know what you're talking about Julie. So care to enlighten me?" He added with a mocking tone lacing his voice.

"You think you're so perfect, don't you?" I snapped. "Thinking that by protecting me you can actually make it up for all you've done in the past few months I've been here." Hell the past few weeks had been hell because of him.

Paul narrowed his eyes. "You think I'm trying to make things up with you?"

"Aren't you?" It's what he should be doing.

Paul took a step towards me. His tall frame towering over mine.

"Trust me, you'd know when I'm apologising." I blinked.

"Then what are you doing?" I whispered, feeling dazed by the close proximity. I could smell his deep, woodsy scent as it washed all over me. His eyes were darker than usual and I found myself leaning closer. _What the hell are you doing?_ My mind yelled at me.

"Protecting you."

"I don't want you to!" I murmured back.

"What do you want me to do?" Paul pulled back and just like that the magic was broken. I sniffed, feeling somewhat sober now he was farther away from.

"Nothing." I replied back. "Don't do anything. You're good at!"

Paul's sudden movement startled me and I stumbled backwards. The shards of glass were already covering the floor as I realised that he had thrown a stray plate off the counter. I suppose I was already treading dangerous water. But with Paul, everything was hazardous. Showing him his flaws was a guaranteed success for pissing him off. And apparently I was rather good at doing that. Seeing the fire in his eyes actually gave me the answer.

"I can't do anything good, can I?" He yelled at me. His hands were gripping the kitchen table with such fervour I wondered whether he wouldn't break the damn thing. I could see the strain in his muscles, it moved all the way to his shoulders and I realised he still wasn't wearing a shirt. Why couldn't he wear clothes? The fire was already consuming, he just had to fuel it.

"No!" I scoffed. "But I think you already knew the answer." Words kept escaping my mouth and I barely registered what was said. Only that my tongue was at its peak.

"Damnitt Julie! Shut the fuck up!" Paul gritted his teeth.

"NO!" I yelled back. "I won't shut up! I won't do what you say! I won't take your bullshit just because it's convenient for you!"

"Then what will you do?" Paul yelled back.

"I will make you feel the way I did for the past few months! I want you to hurt just as much as I did! I want you to realise that everything that has happened was because you didn't trust me! And I want you to get over those fucking issues and just see what the hell is going on!" Tears were brimming and my chest heaved with the pent up frustration. Finally, I was going to say what I felt.

Paul stared at me stunned. I knew words wouldn't come out eloquently, unless he was angry, of course.

"I do trust you." Paul said finally. "You just don't trust me!"

"Liar! You don't trust me." I confessed. "That's what this whole thing is about! Though you're right about one thing. I don't trust you!"

Paul narrowed his eyes and I could physically seem his restraint. Though I wasn't done yet. I wanted to get it off my chest, get rid of the constricting ache that kept hold of me.

"Glad to have that sorted." Was the only thing Paul said.

I scoffed. "Isn't that just fucking peachy!" I felt the tears brim over and stain my cheeks. "I'm glad I was able to shed some light on that!"

"Don't patronise me, Jules!" I narrowed my eyes.

"Then don't call me Jules!" I replied.

Paul pushed himself off the table and moved to the other side of the living room, banging everything as he went. I frowned and though I couldn't keep myself from looking, I did try to be as unaware of him as possible. Though that was like ignoring a fucking earth quake. Shattering and destructive, yet completely present.

"Say it!" Paul continued. "Say what you want to say, because we might as well get this whole fucking confession thing over with!"

"This is not a joke, Paul!" I cried out. "This is serious! What's going on is serious!"

"I know that, Julie! I am not a child!" He hissed.

"Are you?" I questioned. "Because your behaviour tells me otherwise."

"Tell me then." He settled against the couch. "What does my behaviour say?"

"It says you're an untrustworthy asshole." I shot out immediately. Though my words were harsh, his body language was much worse.

"And?" He taunted. I glared at him, blinking to clear my vision from tears. They were gone now though, anger taking place for hurt.

"I hate you!" I continued. "I hate so much that it hurts. And I don't want it to hurt." I confessed. And gone was anger. Just like that. In a blink of an eye Paul's eye softened as my tongue took over again. "You should've trusted me when I told you what happened. You should've taken my word for it and things could've been so much better for the both of us!"

Paul sagged against the cushions. "No it wouldn't." He admitted as he averted his eyes. "It would've been exactly the same." I frowned.

"Why?" I asked him. "Because you never trusted me in the first place?"

"It's not _you_ who I don't trust." Paul turned his eyes to me and before I knew it he was off the couch and up on his feet again. Pacing the living room with a new vengeance. "I know what I did was awful and Damnitt I'm going to try to fix it."

"But?"

"But nothing." Paul settled and he stopped pacing. "I am going to fix things and you are going to let me!" I laughed mockingly.

"Let you fix things?" I repeated. "It's not up to you to fix things." As he so eloquently put it. "I'm in the equation as well. "You hurt me, Paul! Incredibly so and this is not something you can fix in a second. It takes time!"

"And that's what you promised to give me!" Paul barked. "I don't care what you think!" Paul continued. "I am going to fix it and you are going to let me! End of discussion!"

"Fuck you Paul!" I yelled. "This whole thing has escalated to more than just fixing things! Other people are involved too! Do you even realise what's going on?" Paul rolled his eyes but crossed his arms over his chest. Pronouncing his muscle in such a way it distracted me.

"I do know what's going on Julie! Thanks for informing me though!" He replied sarcastically.

"And how are you planning to fix that?" I asked him. "Because last I checked, you can't bring back the dead!" Paul snapped his head back to me. "And you can't take away the guilt!" I whispered the last bit.

"I can make you forget though." I glanced at him incomprehensibly when he closed the distance between the two of us in a few strides.

I was too far gone to actually put a stop to it, because when I felt Paul's lips on mine, all my resolves shattered and my walls fell down with a loud crash. I grabbed at his shoulders as I felt his arms around my waist. Crushing my chest against his, feeling both of our heartbeats beat simultaneously. Speed up simultaneously. It even echoed simultaneously. I couldn't believe that I was actually doing this. But apparently I wanted it, because every single fibre in my being was already gluing itself to Paul and it clung so desperately that I would feel bad pulling away.

My arm wound itself around his neck as I pushed myself to my toes. Feeling the burning intensify in the pit of my stomach was providing me enough encouragement to continue with this. Because, God, it truly felt good to feel Paul like this again. He was like a drug. Every single part of his skin yearned to be touched and I wanted him like that. I wanted to touch him, feel him, taste him. I just wanted every part of him to be a part of me again.

I found myself on my back as it collided with his couch. His lovely weight pressing into me as he hovered above me. A sight to be behold preciously. Through half lidded eyes filled with lust did I watch him. As oxygen became a must we separated though his wonderful lips continued to trail a path down my neck. Going lower as the fabric of my clothing became more of a bother than before. I found myself pulling at my shirt as his hands moved up my shirt.

The roughness was actually so gentle that a spasm of pleasurable pain went through my limbs. They were like little stars burning every inch of my skin. I wasn't sure what to say but right now, feeling felt so fucking right. I dug my nails into his skin, trying to leave as many marks as I could. Knowing I would like to behold them for as long as I could, for it would be proof that we truly doing this.

My shirt was discarded swiftly, and I was on my back again as I arched my back into his hands. His fingers on my waist were tight and I bucked my hips against his. My heated core pushing against his throbbing member. I felt a sharp pain of pleasure again and words escaped my mouth as I barely noticed what I said.

His lips were on mine again, wet and hot as it moved down my chin to my throat. His teeth, nipping and leaving marks. I trailed my hands down his abs, feeling the strain against my fingers was like finding relief in a way. I gasped as Paul's hands moved across my chest. The peaks just begging to be touched. I pushed him off me as my eyes opened with a snap. I was sick of foreplay. I wanted heat. _His_ heat to be exact. The same heat I'd feel as before. The same heat he was going to make me feel now!

He sat up straight and our eyes met briefly as I pulled myself to a sitting position. I rested my hands against his shoulders before straddling his hips. Our lips met again and I felt him unbuckle my bra in a split second. So he was finally catching up. There was a little voice in the back of my head. Whispering words that I should care about, that this was a stupid thing to do. But right now, I was helpless to temptation and I was already too far gone. I might as well do it properly before falling apart completely.

Slowly our clothes were discarded and I was aligning my body with his again as I lowered myself down on him. Things from there on just escalated. Our rocking bodies, his mouth on my shoulder, muffling sounds as I felt my walls tremble around him. I pushed myself closer against him and as our climax neared I realised that I had just crossed a line that should never have been crossed. And for some odd reason, I felt that I had opened another can of worms that was merely asking to be left alone.

I gasped as I collapsed and found myself murmuring words that should not be said.

"What did we just do?" I whispered against his skin as I felt him press a kiss against my throat. Our skin, sweaty due to our activities felt sticky. My heart, still recovering from its peak would crash completely if I couldn't handle Paul's next words.

"I made you forget and that's what I'm going to do again." Paul responded before lowering me on my back again. I could faintly register the last look on his face when I realised he wasn't done yet.

But nor was I.

**A/N: **_So here I give you smut! I know I could've continued, but I suppose you'll have to use your own imagination because it only reminds me of my own lacking at the moment :P lol! Anyhow, I love to hear your thoughts :) So leave me a review!_


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